| malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi |
| malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi malakalikimaka aloha poi |
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| Famous Quotes By Famous People and Not So Famous Quotes By Not So Famous People and Famous Quotes By Not So Famous People and Not So Famous Quotes By Famous People |
| Famous Quotes By Famous People and Not So Famous Quotes By Not So Famous People and Famous Quotes By Not So Famous People and Not So Famous Quotes By Famous People |
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| "At my lemonade stand I used to give the first glass away free and charge five dollars for the second glass. The refill contained the antidote." Emo Phillips. "The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with." Marty Feldman. "We had gay burglars the other night. They broke in and rearranged the furniture." Robin Williams. "If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?" Steven Wright. "Maybe there is no actual place called hell. Maybe hell is just having to listen to our grandparents breathe through their noses when they're eating sandwiches." Jim Carrey. "If your parents never had children, chances are you won't either." Dick Cavett. "Now they show you how detergents take out bloodstains, a pretty violent image there. I think if you've got a T-shirt with a bloodstain all over it, maybe laundry isn't your biggest problem.Maybe you should get rid of the body before you do the wash." Jerry Seinfeld. "New York's such a wonderful city. Although I was at the library today. The guys are very rude. I said, "I'd like a card." He says, "You have to prove you're a citizen of New York." So I stabbed him." Emo Phillips. "A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree." Spike Milligan. "Tragedy is when I cut my finger. Comedy is when you fall into an open sewer and die." Mel Brooks. "When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off." Stephen King. "Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil." Emo Phillips. "In the begining there was nothing and God said 'Let there be light', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it." Dave Thomas. "When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realised that the Lord doesn't work that way so I stole one and asked Him to forgive me." Emo Philips. "Women: You can't live with them, and you can't get them to dress up in a skimpy little Nazi costume and beat you with a warm squash or something..." Emo Phillips. "Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life." Terry Pratchett. "Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that but not with all those flies and death and stuff." Mariah Carey. "I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar." Steven Wright. "Some people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths." Steven Wright. "I would never do crack... I would never do a drug named after a part of my own ass, okay?" Denis Leary. "A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing." Emo Phillips. "I was walking down fifth avenue today and I found a wallet, and I was gonna keep it, rather than return it, but I thought: well, if I lost a hundred and fifty dollars, how would I feel? And I realized I would want to be taught a lesson." Emo Phillips. "I love to go down to the schoolyard and watch all the little children jump up and down and run around yelling and screaming. They don't know I'm only using blanks." Emo Phillips. You can't have everything, where would you put it? Steven Wright These are all Emo Phillips. ..and I always remember the last words of my grandfather, who said "A truck!" I ran three miles today, finally I said "lady take your purse." I was walking down the street, something caught my eye...and dragged it fifteen feet. I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump off. so I ran over and said "stop! don't do it!" "Why shouldn't I?" he said. I said, "Well, there's so much to live for!" He said, "Like what?" I said, "Well...are you religious or atheist?" He said, "Religious." I said, "Me too! Are you Christian or Buddhist?" He said, "Christian." I said, "Me too! Are you Catholic or Protestant?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me too! Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" He said, "Baptist!" I said, "Wow! Me too! Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" He said, "Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God!" I said, "Me too! Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915?" He said, "Reformed Baptist Church of God, reformation of 1915!" I said, "Die, heretic scum", and pushed him off. Back in high school, my buddies tried to put the make on anything that moved. I told them, "Why limit yourselves?" I discovered my wife in bed with another man, and I was crushed. So I said, "Get off me, you two! I was at a bar nursing a beer. My nipple was getting quite soggy. I was walking home one night and a guy hammering on a roof called me a paranoid little weirdo....in morse code. |