I�m on the steps of the school that I despised for years. Ironic thing is, I�m gonna miss it. This is where it all began, this where I found myself. I glance and that mascot for the first time since I got here. I guess it was kind of�sad, to see it go, well actually to see me go. I take a deep sigh. My plane takes off and sixteen hours and every emotion that can possibly be felt is running through my body. I�m excited, frightened, perplexed, devastated, gitty. Two words roll through my head, repeating over and over and over.
I�m leaving.
When I got back home my dad was sitting in front of the fireplace staring into it, like watching to make sure it didn�t engulf the house. I watch him for awhile. He has a look of complete sadness. I�m leaving.
"Daddy?"
He doesn�t move, doesn�t acknowledge me.
"Daddy?" I say it a little louder and he turns to me, flinching a bit. "Are you okay?"
He places his drink down and laughs nervously. "Of course sweetheart." He stands in front of me and pulls me into a hug. "Hey don�t worry about your old man. I went on without you for the first part of my life, I sure as hell can do it again."
I snort while in his embrace. "I love you dad."
"I love you too baby." The fake enthusiasm in his voice is now gone. "You done packing?"
"Yeah." I say it so silently I wonder if I should repeat it.
My dad and I aren�t very good at getting to chummy. We are sentimental at times but when it comes to mushy goodbye and sorry�s, it�s just not our style. Which is why it wasn�t a surprise to me when my dad instantly went for the TV remote. I slept in his arms in front of the TV. The call of his secretary woke us.
"Hello." He answers groggily.
I watch him as his face turns into a saddened expression and then back again.
"Thank you Annette."
He puts the phone down and walks to the TV to put the remote back. I know he is just fighting to not make eye contact.
"The car will be here in an hour and your stuff has been delivered to the loft. Everything is waiting for you."
He looks at me and smiles. "You look just like your mother."
I make a lazy smile and look away.
"Come on go get your bags Brit."
"Dad�" He interrupts me.
"Hey, no worries remember. It�s not like you�re leaving forever. I�ll be here when you get back."
I hug him. "Did I mention you�re the best?"
He laughs. "Yes, did I?"
"Yes." I laugh with him.
We both just hold each other. It�s like one of those moments where you don�t realize it is suppose to end so it just draws on till to much time has passed that you can�t help but part.
"Alright get your bags and get ready.�
I watch him as I walk backwards. A rush of sadness comes over me because I know
I�ll be the reason for his tears tonight.
The trip to the airport is silent. I think we were to afraid to speak in fear
we might cross the mushy line we so desperately try to keep away from. As we pull up, I�m not happy I�m leaving, I�m terrified. I think of all the lonely nights he will have. All the nights he�ll work himself to exhaustion just to keep his mind off me. I don�t want to be the reason he is in pain. He is my father; my best friend.
Our driver and my father step out of the car and start removing my luggage from the car. My father rarely does stuff like this, he believes that people who are in the job as servant hood of some sort, get paid for it, which means there is no reason to feel bad for them. That�s my daddy.
Our driver hands me my backpack and closes the trunk. This is it, this is our goodbye.
"Thanks Steve." I watch our driver as his head lifts. A hint of sadness I see in his eyes. In all of their eyes, the maids, the chef. I mean I�ve grown with these people. They are my family.
"Good luck Miss. Spears." He goes to shake my hand. I grab a hold of him and laugh in his ear.
"Your such a putz."
We part and he looks at me with a wide smile and weeks. His head darts to the car and he steps in. I look to my father. He reaches in his pocket and takes a shit load of cash out. I�d say close to four hundred dollars.
"Your rents taken care of and I set up a job down there for you so�"
"Dad�I can get my own job�besides I have school I need a part-time job�you know, with all the little people."
He chuckles a bit. "Smartass."
"Learned from the best."
"Your gonna call me when you land?"
"Of course."
"Cell phone?"
"Got it." I reach in my pocket it to give him reassurance and put it back when he nods."
"Pepper spray?"
"Dad�"
"Tazor?"
I laugh.
"Gun?"
"Alright that�s enough I�m leaving."
I know very well the jokes are a ploy to keep us from the goodbye. He looks at his watch.
"You gotta go."
I look down to my feet and let a tear slip. I wipe it away quickly and pick up my backpack.
"You be good, and safe."
I grab a hold of him. "I will dad."
Here�s one of those moments again.
"Alright get out of here." He tries to pull away but I don�t let go.
"Hey�come on you gotta go."
"I love you dad."
"Oh I love you too sweetie." We finally part. "You�re my everything."
The tears spill without stopping, I can�t even fight them anymore. I�m heartsick.
"I love you�I love you." I repeat it a few more times as I walk backwards leaving my world behind.
"I love you so much."
"Bye dad."
As I turn to the doors I look back and it obviously took him off guard because he looked away. But the glare of the sun revealed to me brimming tears. He gets in the car and signals Steve to drive.
My heart skips a beat and my feet are abnormally stuck to the ground. I suddenly got a song stuck in my head.
�I don�t want to grow up, I�m a toys r us kid�
Ugh. Growing up sucks.
I board the plane, first class of course. Let me inform you on something just because it�s first class doesn�t mean there is not your fair share off dirt bags. Lucky me I was seated right next to one.
"You have very beautiful legs. Will you be in New York long?"
I take my earphones off hoping they would have been a hint but obviously not.
"No, in fact I�m contemplating jumping out of the plane right now."
"Feisty, I like that."
I scoff and put the earphones back on. I try to focus on the brochure of Columbia and something catches my eye. It�s a painting of a distorted face of all different shapes and colors. It�s so beautiful. The name resembled the painting so much, Decay. It�s like the faces of the person�s life is just implimented in one face. It says so much. My eyes scroll down to the name of the creator of such a masterpiece.
Sophomore Justin Timberlake