Crank Yankers Fan Page: Episode 8

Spoonie Luv places a graphic personal ad. The receptionist is calm and collected, accepting suggestions. "Well-endowed playa seeks dirty ho to sip Cristal and to have her ass tore up."

• Spoonie Luv portrayed by Tracy Morgan

Bob Carlman does something (Missed it, I'll update it later.)

• Bob Carlman portrayed by "Super" Dave Osborne

Helen Higgins wants cookies. She's a self-described "attractive older woman" whose husband just can't perform for her, so she calls the Piggly Wiggly. "I want you to open a jar of man gravy all over my ass."

• Helen Higgins portrayed by Susie Essman

Ken seeks OCD date. Ken has Obsessive Compulsive disorder. He needs a woman who's "even, 140 lbs, 5'4" ". He needs people to say "okay" when he says okay. "Can you spell Oklahoma? At least start to spell it?"

• Ken portrayed by Kevin Nealon

Jared's assistant, Terrance Catheter sets up Jared appearance at Subway. Jared requires 3 things upon his arrival: 1. a warm greeting. 2. Complements on appearance. 3. Sing the Jared Song.

• Terence Catheter portrayed by Jimmy Kimmel

"Karl Malone say, 'No runnin by the pool with scissors'."

• Karl Malone portrayed by Jimmy Kimmel