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Crank Yankers Fan Page: Episode 28Elmer checks Lucky Numbers. Elmer keeps asking for the day's Lottery numbers, but misplaces his pencil behind his ear and has to start over
Dr. Mark Premise is looking for love. Mark Premise uses a dating simulation service and begins asking questions such as "Will you work the stuff?" and says things like "My Dork needs strokin'!" with his computer-generated voice.
Birchum applies for a job. Dick Birchum wants to apply for the job of Mall Santa. He wants to be the backup: what if something awful were to happen, like the primary mall santa's brake lines were cut?
Dick Rogers has a personal revelation. He calls a Gay Bar like he's a detective from a hard-boiled detective story. He is aroused by the bartender and ends up asking if he can make out with him
Kevin and Katie call a butcher shop. "Do you have pig's feet? Where do you buy your shoes? Do you have chicken breasts? Where do you buy a bra? Do you have hot dogs? Time to take them to the vet! Do you have a college education? *click*"
Gladys has a concern about her son. See, she's asking about this slime that is used by pre-teens to masturbate. She suggests to the clerk that she does the same thing with the slime.
Tony Deloge books a speaking engagement. No matter what he says, the Rotary Club will not book him.
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