[ - No chimney for Santa - ]

by C.D.Smith

Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the flat

Not a sound could be heard, not even a rat.

When all of a sudden I heard sleeping Jack

Who started to snore, 'cos he rolled onto his back.

I woke all the family and told them to hide,

But young Kleintjie, the babe was miserable and cried.

For Santa I put out the brandy and coke

Mother-in-law drank it and thought it a joke.

Two bales of hay for Rudolph and Prancer

The springboks who pulled Santa together with Chancer.

Some 'vetkoek' and mince, and some 'pap' and steak

After Santa 'vreets' it all his stomach will shake.

Now all I can do, is hide and be still

And hope that the puppies, their water won't spill

For I can hear Santa out on the roof

Can't find no chimney, now he's making a spoof.

I stick my head out of my top floor flat window

And see the flying 'springbokke' make a big shadow

'My China' I shout, use the door it is open

But Santa can't hear, looks like he's been dopin'.

The neighbours are angry and they begin to shout

What the heck's goin' on, what's the racket about?

Santa is feeling 'lekker' mellow and light,

He takes off his red jacket, ready to fight.

I get out my sjambok, ready to defend

Ol' Santa, I'll fight for you to the bitter end.

Rudolph with the red nose drank all Santa's 'dop'

He falls asleep and the whole reindeer starts to drop.

Crashes on my building, now Christmas is a flop.

©2001, c.d.s.