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The Right Winger is
proudly presents "A Letter to Clinton. This was sent to me via
email, so I don't know who wrote it. My congratulations to whoever did. I
hope you find it as entertaining as I did.
Dear Mr. (former) President,
I recently saw a
bumper sticker that said, "Thank me, I voted for Clinton-Gore."
So, I sat down and reflected on that and I am sending my "Thank
you" for what you have done, specifically:
1. Thank you for
introducing us to Gennifer Flowers, Paula Jones, Monica Lewinsky, Dolly
Kyle Browning, Kathleen Willey, and, of course, Juanita Broaddrick, who
told NBC that you raped her. Are there any others that we should know
about?
2. Thank you for
teaching my 8-year-old about oral sex. I had really planned to wait until
he was about 10 or so to discuss it with him, but now he knows more about
it than I did as a senior in college. The cigar thing was also neat for
the kids.
3. Thank you for
showing us that sexual harassment in the work place (especially the White
House) and on the job is OK, and all you have to know is what the meaning
of "IS" is. It really is great to know that certain sexual acts
are not sex and one person may have sex while
the other one involved does NOT have sex. Monica said frequently while you
were on the phone, she would work at one end, and you at the other. What
productivity!
4. Thank you for
reintroducing the concept of impeachment to a new generation and
demonstrating that the ridiculous plot of the movie "Wag The Dog
could be plausible after all. The people of the Sudan, Afghanistan and
Serbia are all running to rent the video, now that you made them part of
the story.
5. Thanks for making
Jimmy Carter look competent, Gerald Ford look graceful, Richard Nixon look
honest, Lyndon Johnson look truthful, and John Kennedy look moral.
6. Thank you for the
72 House and Senate witnesses who have pleaded the 5th Amendment and 17
witnesses who have fled the country to avoid testifying about Democrat
campaign fund raising.
7. Thank you for the
19 charges, 8 convictions, and 4 imprisonments from the Whitewater
"mess" and the 55 criminal charges and 32 criminal convictions
(so far) in the other "Clinton" scandals.
8. Thanks for
remembering the families of many deceased people who once were your
friends, who served you and died so young and suddenly: Vince Foster,
Jerry Parks, Ron Brown, Admiral Boorda, Les Aspin, Barbara Alice Wiese,
Mary Mahoney, Jim McDougal.
9. Thanks also for
reducing our military by half, "gutting" much of our foreign
policy, and for providing no real missile defense system for the American
people. Thank you for sharing with our Chinese friends all of our nuclear
weapon designs, the supercomputer technology to build such weapons, the
ballistic missile technology so they can have more accurate missiles, and
the encryption technology so they can keep it all secret too.
10.You are amazing
visiting all those countries! Thank you for flying all over the world on
"vacations" carefully disguised as necessary trips. It's
wonderful, too, how you have surpassed every other president in the size
of your entourage on these trips: 75 jumbo jets, 2000 guests to China
alone. Your Africa entourage also was remarkable and it was nice of you to
bring Betty Currie. She needed a break from testifying before the grand
jury.
Please give my regards
to Hillary, when/if you see her. Tell her I'm working
on a "Thank
You" letter for her.
Looking forward to
January 2001, The American Public
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