If you have not read the original article about the previous Tozzimobile, it is highly recommended that you do so before proceeding as this article makes many references to said article.
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What does a young, single, successful naval officer do during a global financial meltdown? I can't speak for my colleagues since most of them are married and have thus given up all forms of fun and excitement forever. I, however, did what made most sense to me at the time. I ran out and bought the car I had been drooling over since I first saw it as a dirt poor Midshipman at the Naval Academy:
I first saw this car in the James Bond movie "Die Another Day." It was driven by Zao, a ruthless mercenary whose tastes in clothes, vehicles, and haircuts I admire greatly.
My favorite scene in the movie is one where Zao, in a Jaguar XKR, engages in a land dogfight with Bond, who is driving an Aston Martin V-12 Vanquish.
Click Image to view chase scene on YouTube.
What makes this scene notable is the fact that the villain also has outrageous gadgets in his vehicle and both vehicles are evenly matched. I would argue that the same could be said about the two vehicles in real life.
The hosts of the British motoring program "Top Gear" ranked the XKR above both the BMW 6 series AND the Porsche 911.
Many of you, I'm sure, are wondering,
"But what about the old Tozzimobile?"
It was a great car, it cost next to nothing, it was fun to drive, and it served me well over these past few years. It carried me safely across this great nation as the Navy sent me from sea to shining sea to pursue an unreasonably difficult education in this posh and overpriced pseudo-paradise called Monterey.
It is with a great deal of pride and hubris that I admit that one of the greatest things about being in the military is that not only are we unaffected by a recession, we tend to live better when the economy is in the toilet because we collect the same salary while the cost of everything around us (especially luxury items) bottoms out.
I'm sure some of you are asking,
"But Tozzi, isn't this against everything you used to stand for? Didn't you shun American commercialism and conspicuous consumption?"
That may be, but as I continue to advance in my career, and as the government continues to place greater responsibility on my shoulders and have higher expectations for the image that I present to the world around me, I have grown very comfortable with the thought of replacing individuality with exclusivity. Besides, when all is said and done, the new Tozzimobile draws just as much attention as the old one, except for very different reasons. When I had nothing I used to take pride in things like finding a great hawaiian shirt at a thrift store for $3 or brushing my teeth with Simple Green. Now that I can afford extravagances like Brooks Brothers suits or toothpaste I take pride in enjoying them. So you can enjoy your "freedom" from "being told what to do all the time by some idiot" like the majority of people who criticize my decision to join the military. I am thoroughly enjoying the perks that come with being a "slave of the evil machine." Now I have an evil machine of my very own.
Also, now that I've upgraded to something more modern, I can replace the WWII RAF goggles as well.
Article originally posted 18 December 2008
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