PWN: Mr. Osbourne, could we get a word with you for next week's "Inside the SAW" magazine show on PWN Sunday Night?
NRO: Sure kid, shoot.
PWN: Well, Mr. Osbourne, we were wondering, aside from everything we have discovered this week, if you, the analytical mastermind have come up with anything we have overlooked.
NRO: So you want me to analayze promo's?
NRO: My god that is so Z-Pac, but I was the original master of promotional disection. Let me start with the bottom bracket.
Donovan Torigianni. A stud, a shooting star destined for greateness. More than likely, this is the man I will face in the finals, barring any unforseen difficulties. Nothing to say to Donovan but good luck. The history; the bad charma, between Donovan and I, is water under the bridge. You can bet every last dime you have on me and Torigianni in the finals. Donovan, you have the size, and the strength. You have the ubreakable spirit, and talent. But me, I have the speed, and the smarts.
Son, we go back, way back. I love ya like a brother. But don't mistake me giving you a ride from BC to New York as a sign that you have it made. You play your cards right, stick by me, always, and you will go places. Just not for this title, and not in this tournament!
His match with Chamber in the NCW for the Hardcore title, is definitely one for the books.
But what do you do to a guy like Deville? He is seemingly so meticulous that he leaves no stone unturned when preparing for a match. He knows who his opponents allies and enemies are and studies their personality traits. One thing you have to ask yourself Scotty D, sure, Pledge warned about the IoA possibly making some sort of attempt at a hostile takeover, but what about the NCW Scott...I had a world champ in my pocket too...I wonder who wants some of you so bad Deville, that they would commit a breach of contract?
NRO: Exactly, which would bring us to Mike Van Pro.
PWN: He recently cut a promo, any thoughts on his work, and his chances of meeting you in the finals?
NRO: Oh, you don't want me to go there.
PWN: Yes, yes I do.
First, before we analyze the idea of MVP's promo, we must first fully comprehend where he gets said idea.
Everyone will readily allow, that there is a considerable difference between the perceptions of the mind, when a man feels the pain of excessive heat, or the pleasure of moderate warmth, and when he afterwards recalls to his memory this sensation, or anticipates by his imagination. These faculties may mimic or copy the perceptions of the senses; but they never can entirely reach the force and vivacity of the original sentiment..
With that said, I encourage those SAW Wrestlers that had been on tour with the "competition" in third world countries to go take in the movie that Mike Van Pro, err, Fusion must have watched when he first awoke from the coma he was in. That's it, that's got to be it.
MVP is a Pro, I must say. First, he finds the time machine that he was referring to in his promo. I recall a Presidential View article I read in Uncut while working for the "competition" and above the the article by Mr. Van Pro was a promotional picture. One , I assume that was of MVP. He was older though. Much older. In fact, now, he resembles Pledge Alligence so closely that it hurts. However, he had platinum blonde hair, and wore a sequined robe. Now he has short brown hair with a terrible receding hairline. He also looks much younger. Wow, either MVP found the fountain of youth or this is really his punk kid, CVP, coming in to play a sick prank.
But even bigger than the time machine discovery he made, MVP also foud a way to completely make an ass out of himself.
Why is that any different than normal? This time, he did a terrible job at covering it up. You see, Mr. Fusion Van Pro, I have seen the motion picture hit, Spiderman.
Ironically enough MVP, one of my favorite scenes from that film is the one in which Willem DeFoe , as Norman Osborne, finally discovers the true secret identity of the Green Goblin. You remember that scene, don't you Mike?
Let me set the scene for you, it takes place in the study of Osborne's home. He is talking , in a mirror, to the Goblin. Who is really him, but he doesn't know it.
I would quote the scene for our fans, but why do that when you have done such a wonderful job re-enacting it in your promo?
Yes fans, MVP, the man who claims to be the greatest man in this industry, the same man who fired one man over gimmick infringmenet in his own promotion, the man who belittled Jack Hendrix in SAW for being "unoriginal" has reached odwn into the hat and pulled out a masterful angle to work. Too bad Norman Osborne already did it.
Typical for you though, isn't it Mikey? An Osborne, no relation, but an Osborne, none the less, beats you to your master piece. A shame. No really, it is.
I'm sure MVP will claim to have not seen this film. But we all now know the unforsaken truth. Funny, that's what your promo title was, wasn't it? Now if you'll excuse me, I have a tournament to win.
