NRO: Wow, the competition has finally chosen to stand upon their soap boxes and make their voices heard. You can bet your ass, "The Nitemare" is listening!
First and foremost, Mr. Deville. What has the Boston air done to you Scotty D? I know something in the water or the air makes people's judgement seem...clouded ...to say the least. I also know from very personal experiences that the natives don't take too kinldy to strangers that don't pronounce chowder as "chowda." Scott, you and I, we have never went to the dance at the same time in the same ring and been on opposite sides now have we? You mention the collapse of the N.C.W. Scott, another flaw you have picked up from the other Bostonian's ; you quit doing your homeworkk. I sold the N.C.W.; it didn't die. I made a ton of cash selling the contracts of guys like you and Blair to the A.W.F. Of course, what happened with the A.W.F. was none of my doing, if my brother can't balance the books, that's his own fault. And it must be a trait he picked up from Mom's side of the family.
Speaking of morons from Boston, I see that the great and powerful, yet somewhat delirous little luchador Make Vomit Pour has decided to take time away from his hectic schedule of assigning titles to make his presence felt in the S.A.W. Why i am still not sure. He of all people should realize, the man on the other side of the bracket as he isn't exactly his biggest fan. I myself will be standing at the curtain watching this one in its entirity.
Think about it S.A.W. fans, this man, Donovan Torigianni, one of the greatest tag team competitors of all time was robbed , and it may as well have been at gun point, of the "competition"'s world championship. On what grounds? That he was a tag team wrestler. Hey Mikey , he ain't a tag wrestler no more, and your stroke here is about as good as your career...and that's all there is to say when it comes to Masterbates Via Porn.
Moving right long. You know, I seem to be the only one that was running with the big dogs back in the E.W.A. that seems to still have it. Hillard, baby, what happened to you? I know that you and Simon and Pledge all lost your spark when you were screwed by the "competition" but are you going to let that be the end of your career? I for one plan to show the "competition" exactly what they let get away. In fact, I think this tournament is full of choice combatants that left the "competition" after their assholes were fucked raw with no lubrication. We have Johnny Ice, Jack Hendrix, Shawn Hillard, Jimmy Blast, Scott Deville, Donovan Torigianni, Trent Davidson, our very own Commissioner, Pledge Alligence, and yours truelly.
What is the key difference that I have over al the aforementioned? While the rest all went to the "competition" to put it out of business, i was the last to leave. I was the only one that came close to fullfilling the Don's mission, eradicating the wrestling world of the filth that tarnishes it in the "competition"'s rings.
But I digress. I would be amiss if I didn't bring up two or three key points that some of my "peers" established.
J.T. Watterson, the H20 man, hey, by the way, has Ron Waterman filed a lawsuit against you yet for stealing his monicker? I was just curious. However, Mr. J.T., you say you saw me run when the Nitemare Club got toasted did you? Funny, I don't remember running, I remember calmy walking to the limo and calling 9-1-1. But then again you did say you were Noone's bitch right? I used to buy my pot from Noone back in the day when I was in high school. Does he still live in that trailer in Smyrna? Yeah, Noone was a cool guy in the day, I can't believe you're his bitch. Small World huh?
How about the little bit of confusion that was spit out of the mouth of Timmy the Tramp? First you say you butter the bread with this name? Let me tell you something you little weebus nut bastard, you aren't good enough to be a skid mark in my short's. The ONLY success you have ever achieved was that GIVEN to you because you went into every promotion that Chris, Matt, and I had already dominated and said "hey , look at me, I'm an Osbourne!" And every nickle and dime washed up promotion signed you and spoon fed you championships just so they could advertise an Osbourne. Sad really. I think the hradest part you have accepting the whole matter is going to come after Hellstone beats you to oblivion and leaves you lying in a puddle of your own blood and piss. You will lie there, expecting another member of your family to help you out of the muck and the mire, but the only hand you will find greeting you is the cold hand of death, and the grimacing warmth of defeat.
But what about the Prototype for greatness, the legend in his own mind, Trent Davidson.
Trent, you may nay say over Jimmy and his riding mate, J.T. , but if you keep your present attitude the following week, you will find yourself one of the first men in the SAW to give us a count of burnt out bulbs in the arena, cause you'll be flat on your back, wishing you had stuck it out in the "competition."
I would speak on the likes of USA or Auslese, but why waste my breath or thoughts?
As for the only remaining members of this tournament not talked about, Jack Hendrix, and Johnny Ice. The reason I have overlooked them isn't out of disrespect. It is because I saw these two lions go at it in the "competition" and I don;t figure whoever makes it out in one piece will be much of a threat, as they will likely battle each other til one of them drops.
That leaves us with Too Xtreme. I am warning you TE, stay in line, follow orders, and I MAY let you go after one of the lesser titles.
Now, if you guys will excuse me, I need to get some rest before we land in British Columbia.
**Scene fades as the Nitemare goes to the back of the plane and closes the door behind him.**
MAID: About two hours Senor Osbourne.
NRO: Thanks Lupe. Well, well, I can't even get a friggin' nap in without you goofs cramming a camera down my throat can I?
Well, what else should I talk about ? What more can be said that hasn't been said?
How about the fact that NO ONE in the S.A.W., no matter how many accolades they have has ever beaten me except for my own brother?
I have a suprise for the entire S.A.W. The rumors are flying in the dirt sheets about the possibilities of a "Horsemen" reunion. The burning question that one of those rags claimed to have the "exclusive" answer to is, "Will Rob Osbourne saddle up with the Blaster to reform the fabled terrorizing stable?" The answer is a resounding NO. I have been there, done that, made the t-shirt, had time to sell it, market it and push it to a department store chain, at least nine times now. Jimmy, give the dream up, you have officially retired the side, so do the world a favor, go retire yourself.
But is that my suprise? I can guarantee you that in the weeks to come the lines will start falling and the divisions will be made, sides will be chosen, stables formed. The suprise i have in store for all of you is, who will I choose to skyrocket to fame by siding with them? The answer to that question my friends, will indeed be your suprise, and the Blaster's downfall.
With that being said, get the fuck out of my bedroom so I can go buy some of the top rated bud in the world, will ya?
**Scene FINALLY fades to black as Osbourne shuts the door in the camera man's face.**
