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| **The scene opens to find the Nitemare arriving at the Penn State campus in beautiful State College. Osbourne parks his ferarri outside of the media building and heads to the front receptionist desk. A small, wiry male with very feminine characteristics is working the desk. Let's listen in...** |
| NRO: Hey there pal, could you tell me which studio "Nittany Lions' Wrestling Wrap Up " is being taped in do you? RECEPTIONIST: Yes sir, the "professional wrestling" (the rec. says it with a degrading tone) is taped in the only studio worthy to house it...the basement. NRO: Is that right? The basement huh? Well, I guess it beats the closet, you homosexual necropheliac hermaphrodite! |
| **The Nitemare heads to the basemen and when he steps off of the elevator the make shift studio resembling the set of "Wayne's World" from SNL errupts in to chants of HOOT HOOT HOOT HOOT. He shakes a few hands and is directed to a seat open on the leather sofa across from host Chris Farlier** |
| CHRIS: Wow, man, it' s like, so great to have you here! NRO: No problem, it's my pleasure. CHRIS: I have to tell you, uhm, Mr. Osbourne, that I am, uhm, a really big fan of yours....yeah! NRO: Oh really? Well it just so happens I have right here for you and your posse five front row tickets for Defiance over at Bryce-Jordan. CHRIS: Like, seriously man? Wow, you...you...you remember that one time, uhm, when you beat up Pledge Alligence...? NRO: Chris, really, are we still beating that dead horse? Seriously, i have beaten him so many times, it all kind of runs together. Was it when i took the Universal Title? Or when i won at SuperPOP? Or when I overshadowed him regaining his Universal Title when I returned to the EWA after my vacation to Haiti? Or was it when I beat him to retain my title I won from him? Or maybe the time I joined the CWF and kidnapped Don Russo and force fed him a ninety-nine cent McChicken sandwhich from McDonald's and made him piss himself, then beat Pledge to oblviion, for lik, what, the three, four (Osbourne counts on his fingers) ah shit, scrw it, no, I don't know which time you are talking about kid, what about it? CHRIS: Yeah...that was good... or what about when Tige' debuted in the MWWF and you got beat by him? NRO:....yeah, what about it? CHRIS: Uhm, that totally sucked. Yeah, it was bad. NRO: You're a smart kid... CHRIS: Well, I have to go, uhm, the real host, Lloyd Bomovitz is gonna take over now, you are really good man... |
| **The actual host enters the set and they proceed to discuss Auslese, Hillard, Pledge, the size of Hillard ass, and the overall hysteria Hillard has in association with the anal orophice. They end the interview and Rob heads to the SAW promo trailer parked on campus to cut his final promo for Defiance** |
| NRO: Well, here we are again people, another climactic moment for SAW. You know every week we hear these goofs Donnely and Styles, and that two bit "oh do me again Rob..please?" whore Trixie Lee try to convince all of you out there in TV land that "TONIGHT WILL BE A NIGHT THAT CHANGES OUR INDUSTRY AS WE KNOW IT!" Come on man, gimme a fucking bus pass. Yeah, I dropped the bomb on you baby, I dropped the bomb on you! But I digress. Is the All-Canadian title defense for Ricky gonna be the biggest segment of Defiance? How about the rumble for the Undisputed Title? It could be, but since I have been to the doctor, and I have gotten the written diagnosis from my physician that I am indeed male, and my name is on the roster of the SAW, as made ever present to me by our wonderful "Full of shit"-issioner Pledge Alligence. So what does that mean? T, you know you my dawg! Don't hate the playa, hate the game, cause that Undisputed title is all but mine. Another act of tom foolery by the Russo Family, just trying to hold the most hated man in their company down. I personallythink that 'ole Pledgey Wedgie just wants to keep hitting me where it hurts. He thinks my pride is easily bruised. Pledge, when i lose a straight up singles match, cleanly, then you can gloat. But until then, just call yourself the Edge, cause all you are doing is feuling my ego you sorry somonabitch! Auslese, do the world a favor, tkae your life. You come into my club when you know I am not going to be there. You take someone else's table, and yes, I know was supposed to be at that table. I tell you what, you go in that ring at Defiance against MVP and Too Xtreme Ricky Badger and act like that, you will be tube fed the rest of your miserable days. Oh, don't worry, I still hate the very ground that is ruined when the feet of Mike Van Pro walk upon it. No doubt about it. I hear the Nitemare's still aren't over for ole Mikey even though Rob Osbourne is in SAW. Why don't you worry about my boy Ricky Badger more than the IoA, that way you may be able to at least last the minimum time in the ring that you are required to receive your pay out at the end of the show when the gate is counted. I have a better idea, how about you and Auslese have a match before hand and the winner goes ahead and burries the barrle of a thirty ought six in his his ear and pulls the trigger. It'd be quicker and less of a mess than if you get in there with the man that is justifiably called "Too Xtreme"!!! But, what of the name of greatness that is now collectively embodied with the likes of T-Money, Too Xtreme, and myself, the most methodical man in wrestling, "The Nitemare" Rob Osbourne, and another man, simply to be know for now as "Number 4" Some are asking why we are calling ourselves the Unholy Alliance, while others are simply saying that we were to cheap to come up with our own name. That simply is not true. I stated clearly a few weeks ago ((OOC: SAWRP10)) that I had purcahsed a copyright to the name Unholy Alliance, which that walking lullaby machine, Z-Pac, fogot to do. How did this effect the self procalimed "King Of Hardcore"? His stable was forced to revert to the name "The Painkillers", chalk up another W for the Nitemare. How about this SAW, you want a glimpse into my crystal ball? Do you want to see a glimpse of what will be the turning point for the SAW? |
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| SAW, this Monday, The Alliance is coming, and when you find out who Number Four is, you'll know what is so damned Unholy about it!! |
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