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| **The scene opens, obviously, to the grand opening of the renovated Nitemare Club on the skyline of downtown Nashville, once again standing as prominant against the night sky as the BellSouth Bat building and the Colisseum (OOC: Adelphia lost its sponsorship rights!). As we enter the front security check point, a large bouncer asks the camera crew for credentials to this invitation only event. The bouncer glances at the Pro Wrestling Network camera crews id and remember's his boss' instructions "The only media I want in is PWN". He opens the banister and lets them in. Rob Osbourne is on the stage of the 18,000 square foot downtown entertainment complex.** |
| NRO: Ladies and gentlemen, i would like to welcome you to the grand opening of the Nitemare Club. Performing for your entertainment here tonight, stand up comedian Shawn Hass, and a performance by the Cheech and Chong of the the next generation, Tenacious D!!!!! But first, for the sanity of my "public" I must address the recent popularity contest within the offices of the SAW. Commissi.... |
| **As Osbourne begins his sentance SAW Commissionaer Pledge Alligence comes towards the front and takes a seat at a table reserved just for him by his nemesis. As he orders a drink, whole milk of course, Osbourne continues his monologue** |
| NRO: Ahem...as I was saying (smiles to Pledge) after the recent run of the mill fuck me in the ass without even giving me the common decency of a reach around ! Oh, oh, damn, no lubrication...not even a kiss? Come on Pledgey Wedgey, you stacked the deck from the get go. First you tried to throw me a curve by "RANDOMLY" selecting my freaking brother as my opponent in round one, then when he showed his alliance, again, a mind game by yours truelly, as Chris signed his contract, got me to the second round and then got himself fired! Then, you spoon feed Deville that clown, USA, wo hoo, I'm sure that was you under the mask right Pledge? That's it by gawd, it was you wasn't it ? Think about it fans, red whit and blue, USA, USA, he had bad teeth, bad hair, and bad skin, and, well Pledge Myrectum, I think that sounds alot like you! Sure, Deville ran through him, Pledge didn't want a real match for Deville, another one of his personal whipping boys, or was that wiping boys? I don't quite remember? Then, then, I wipe the mat dry with Deville, beating him cleanly, and with having that wanna be Nitemare, Chris Chandler come out here and start his shit. You wanna take a dive in the shit stirrin contest Chandler? I am about to make an announcement at the end of tonight's festivities that will stir the shit in the SAW like the blazing wheels of an 18 wheeler!!! Thank you, and enjoy my show!!!! |
| **Pledge tosses down his napkin and heads to the hallway outside of the main part of the club. As Shawn Hass, a comedian from St. Louis , Missouri makes his way onto the stage, Osbourne heads after Pledge in the back employee area.** |
| NRO: Hey, where ya going buddy, the fun was just about to start, this guy in there is going to cut on rednecks, you can have a few laughs at my expense. Don't ya wanna know what my big announcement is? Pledge: No, quite honestly, i don't. I'm sure it will be another one of your verbal tirades about impartiality and you will threaten to quit if I don't give you a shot at the title, then when I don't budge, you will threaten again to quit, and when i tell you you are fired, you will beg me like you were Bart, i was Homer, and I was holding the butterfinger! NRO: Yeah...and your point? You don't want to say you were there? You don't want to tell them you saw it in the SAW...ha, i made a funny. Can you smell it Pledge? Pledge: No Rob, the only scent I am picking up is your shit that you seem to be the only person that finds it not to stink! NRO: Yeah, well screw you man, you can have your beer swiling rednecks, your look alike Boston beanboy, your Twisted Siste, your metal momma, it dreally doesn't make two shakes of a cow's nipple to me Pledge. Do you think i came back for your titles? Do you think it was for the money? No, i came back for the glory, and you ain't raining on my name like that "pal" cause i do enough dragging of my name through the mud on my own without your help. I QUIT!!!!! Pledge: I don' think so Osbourne, you fed killing son of a biscuit eater! You can't quit, i won't let you! NRO: Eat me man, you won't let me? Since when have you ever stopped me from doing a god damned thing? Pledge: You are under contract you slimy little rat! And I can guarantee you, there isn't a lawyer in the world with the insides to take on the Russo Family in court, capesche Robbie? NRO: Are you still bitter old man? It was along time ago....so I beat you for your title, then beat you again, then beat you again, then I came to CWF and beat you, then I came to the IoA and beat you, and I had you beat up in NCW...are you holding a grudge? Pledge: Rob, your ego is so big, i think they're gonna need to remodel again soon. You know what, I think I'll see you Monday night, and that's an order! NRO: You can't do this! Pledge: I think i just did! |
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| **Osbourne points his finger as Pledge grins. Pledge then exits the club, as Osbourne heads back into the ballroom, shaking off the encounter with his nemsis. Shawn Hass is getting towards the end of his stand up set.** |
| Shawn Hass: Know why they raised the minimum drinking age in Tennessee to 32? They wanted to keep alcohol out of the high schools. **Crowd errupts in laughter** Shawn Hass: I love the south no, really I do. There's not alot to do around here so the law makers are always coming up with new improvements on their state's residing body's. A new law was recently passed in North Carolina so that when a couple gets divorced, they're still brother and sister. **Crowd hoots as Osbourne heads up to the side of the stage, as Hass hits his last two jokes without stopping, right on schedule.** Shawn Hass: What does a divorce in Alabama, a tornado in Kansas and a hurricane in Florida have in common? No matter what, somebody's fixin' to lose a trailer. But seriously, I'd like to thank Rob Osbourne. I love Rob Osbourne, yeah, wrestlers from Tennessee are always real "winners" but Osbourne is the man. Why just ten minutes ago, he found out, the true meaning of Life is paiN! **Osbourne, not seeming too enthused, but a little intrigued as to how Hass knew that his career was not over...he heads up on stage and announces Tenacious D. As Jack Black and Kyle Gass jump onto the stage from either side and break into the opening chords of "Wonder Boy" the scene fades to black.** |
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| The bar glass on the left will take you to the Nitemare Club main page. The bar glass on the right will take you to the "Lobby" , my guest book, sign it and give me your feedback! |