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| **The scene opens to the home of Rob Osbourne the day after Christmas. Rob kisses our mystery woman on the cheek and pulls the silk sheet up over her body. He heads down the hall and enters the room of his son Rob Jr. and finds the five year old playing Lilo and Stitch on his Gameboy Advance.** NRO: Robbie, come her and give daddy a smooch, I have to go to work... ROBBIE: Dad, is she gonna be my new mommy? NRO: Well, you�re mother will always be your mommy, but she may be something like that soon. You never know about women Robbie, you just never know. Listen, you gonna watch us this weekend with Mom? ROBBIE: You�re in a title match, aren�tcha? NRO: That�s my little smart-ass! I�ll give you our sign when I win that belt, okay? ROBBIE: Ok dad! **NRO kisses his boy on the cheek and heads down the hall of floor 57 of his West End penthouse. He takes the elevator to the parking garage where he finds his purple Ferrari waiting. He hops in and pushes the button to raise the hood. He throws it in drive and leaves behind a cloud of smoke and the stench of burning rubber. He flies out of the garage onto West End Avenue. He goes down to 21st Avenue and gets on 40 East. He jumps onto the 24 East merger ramp and takes it to Nashville International Airport and hanger number 12 where he pulls the sports car into the cargo bay of his customized 747. He hops out and heads into the cabin area. He steps into his office and takes a seat behind the desk and pulls out a rolling tray and some papers. As he fires up a doob he switches on PWN to catch SickBoy, Donovan Torigianni, and Shane Hillard�s recent creshindo�s. He puffs and puffs till he is as high as the Goodyear Blimp, literally in the aircraft, and figuratively from an intoxication sort of way. ** NRO: Sweet Sassy Mollasie! Donovan Torigianni is back! That�s the fire I saw in you when you came to work for me in the NCW. But Don, baby, you wanna get into the battle of wits, even with as much dope as I smoke, I can take you to the brink of insanity my friend! But I digress. Donovan, I am concerned for you. What does your mother say about attacking your own wife? Huh? What does the world think now of Mama Torigianni�s baby boy? You were right Donovan, I have done some pretty fucking low things in my life, and I will never again deny that I am a CANCER, I will eat everything around me alive. I will infect it and all will perish but me. That�s how I do business. That�s why you, your brother, and so many others along the way stick by me. When the battle lines are drawn, and the war ensues there WILL be casualties. There WILL be sorrow. The question is which side of the sorrow do you want to be on Donovan? The givers, or the takers? But, honestly, by your little comments about and I quote �...I have somewhat of an aversion to the female species at the moment...� it seems to us that maybe you are a giver and a taker then, right? Is that why you have always spent so much time at the gym D? Is it not really your desire to be as big as you are, but... **NRO does his best David Allan Grier gay impression from In Living Color** NRO: Or does it happen because you stand there and lift those weights while you watch the other big muscalie mens working out? **Rob starts laughing and takes a hit off of his doob. He exhales slowly, and as the smoke begins to trickle from his nose, he inhales it back in for a manual shotgun. ** NRO: But it isn�t just Donovan that will be on my mind this Sunday, oh no. The AIW, while I did say yesterday that I wasn�t mainly concerned with it, I will have my mind on that match as well. It would give me such great pleasure to beat Pledge again. And I will have already beaten up SickBoy twice by then, so that will seem like a little overkill. Maybe I�ll let Gabe have him. Oh the things Gabe will do to him!!!! Indeed!! Then there is the Jetson Family Dog! The former TLC champion, Astro. **NRO does his best Astro from the Jetsons impression.** NRO: REE RORGE! RI RANT RA ROOKIE ROO! Gimme a fucking bus pass man! You use the name Astro, which is either a fetish for the futuristic talking cartoon hound , or you think you are the root of the word �Astronomical.� Either case, you�re a dead dog dude! I�ll show you what it�s like to get deviant and methodical. When I hit you with the La La Land, what will i do when you spin around? Do you know which move I will nail you with to set you up for the Badd Dream? Will you know what to expect from studying up on tape of me? No. You won�t bother; you�re too arrogant and conceited to think you need to bother with actually researching your opponent. While Astro and Chemical X and Sickboy may be what the IoA Fans have been cheering for, but those three need to realize, there�s a new measuring stick in he IoA, and you�re lookin at him! Now, onto Chris Reinhardt! You, Me, title versus title the first Antidote after Season�s Beatings. Yes, I said Antidote, because after we take control of this company, there won�t be any more Heatwave. I say we trip the light fantastic Rhino. You, Me, and the two world titles, as I have no doubts that you will retain your title in three days at Season�s Beatings, Assasin hasn�t bothered to rear his head in three weeks now, and .well, Chemical X?!?! You might as well just take me on, fuck, I will have already won three matches that night, so why not? But I know you need time to inject more heroine, so we can�t slam right into one another afterwards. And Frank may be able to cut your promo�s for ya, but he can�t take your place in the ring. And of course we must wonder who the fifth man on Team IoA will be. I have heard all the rumors on the internet dirt sheets. Wrestlezone.com said that it was going to be Maniac. 411wrestling.net says its MOD, that he will turn on the AIW. Another source, called literally dirtrag.com said that I was the fifth man on Team IoA. Now that is ridiculous. But one source caught my fancy; it was a site called Kayfabesucks.org said that �a mighty champion, a man of gold, would once again save the IoA, as h has so many times before. � Well GodDamn! That�s not rocket science, that�s quantum physics, but my moneys on the Fudge Pac. He has one last score to settle with yours truly, and I think that Anarchy will reign supreme when the Nitemare FINALLY gets a legit win on the man from the badlands, Z-PAC!!! Z, if its you, i got news for you, you meddle in affairs you cannot possibly comprehend! The IoA has changed, and change it shall do further this Sunday night. Can you feel it in the air? The winds of change, the winds of destruction!!! **The scene changes to the plane landing at the Denver airport. As the plane stops, the rear cargo bay begins lowering, and Rob Osbourne backs his Ferrari out onto the tarmac and speeds off onto the interstate heading towards the arena. His cell phone rings and he hits the pause button on the Tenacious D cut Wonderboy which is playing in the CD player and takes the call.** NRO: Rob Osbourne. CALLER: Hey sexy, it�s me, why�d you leave before I got up? NRO: Had to get to Denver, I have a lot at stake in this show and I want to make sure everything goes the way I planned it... CALLER: Oh my god, you�re serious aren�t you? You�re going to retire soon, aren�t you? NRO: Yes, I was high, but I know what I said. Besides, what�s left for me to do? Win titles? Get women? Nope. I got the only one I want now. I wan to spend time with her, help her run her company, sit back get fat, and make babies, ok? CALLER: I think I love you Rob Osbourne... NRO: I know you do, and you�re gonna shit when you see what all I have in store for him this week! **Rob tells the woman good bye and ends the call. He increases his speed until he sees signs for the arena exit. He turns down the CD and flips his phone back out and dials a New York phone number...** CALLER: Hello? NRO: What�s up brother man? CALLER? Rob?!?! What do you want, to tell me how I made the biggest mistake of my life turning on my brother? NRO: No, actually, I was calling you to tell you congrats man! CALLER: Congrats?!?! For what? NRO: For becoming a man and growing tired of being the little brother of the spotlight hogger. It happens, it happened to Chris, I knew it would only be a matter of time before it happened to you as well. CALLER: Thanks Rob, that means alot, I wish Donovan would see I my way. But anyway, I haven�t been around much, with X-Rated not getting off the ground really. I think I have realized it was a good run, but these assclowns from the CWF are clueless about what needs to happen for things to work, like for instance, oh, I don�t know, showing up for the god damned match!!!!! NRO: Well listen brother, I have a bit of a proposition for ya with the way the X Rated gig is going. CALLER: But before that I have to know, is it you? NRO: Yes. Anyway... CALLER: You fucking dog! Oh my god, he�s gonna fucking kill you when he find out man, and I don�t mean that as an expression, or a euphemism, I mean he�s gonna gut you like a fucking pig man! NRO: Thanks for the inspiring words Vincent, god damn, I ain�t no spring chicken... CALLER: No, but you will be when he gets done, you know I watched him kill grown fucking man when we were kids Rob? He�s nuts man...you saw what he did to her!!! NRO: I have it under control Vincent, don�t worry. Hey, I� just got to the arena in Denver, I am sending my plane to pick you up in three hours, be at LaGuardia, Hanger 52... CALLER: Ok man, I�m in! **FTB** |
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