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| **The gestation process of a human being lasts, according to the medical experts, 40 weeks. However, people say a female human will be pregnant for nine months. But the average weeks per month is 4, and if you divide four into forty, it comes out to ten months. But when a woman with a mind like Mz. Danky's is impregnated with an idea, then the gestation of that idea is so phenominally fast and prgressive that the plot thickens and events turn full circle with a rate of speed similar to a butterfly in its cocoon. Rob Osbourne stands on the AIW sound stage in the ofice building in Manhatten. He is cutting a commercial clip for an up and coming AIW television show that he will be hosting. Let's listen in as the Nitemare gives official acting a first. ** |
| Director: All right Mr. Osbourne, we are going to play these clips of your career and we want you to just say the first thing that comes to mind, complete with the appropriate facial expressions. Are you ready to begin? NRO: Fire Away pretty boy. **Scene is NRO seated on a couch watching a television show, but suddenly the screen becomes fuzzy, then as it clears again it is showing clips of his greatest matches. The current match showing is NRO vs. Maniac for the MWWF World Title at Stayin' Alive in 1996. Nitemare has just taken the Headhunter, let's listen to commentator Frank Rizzo as he called it.** Rizzo: ... Maniac covers... 1....2...kickout, Maniac gets furious. Nitemare kips up to his feet, Maniac turns unsuspectingly, kick to the gut by Osbourne. Badd Dream!!! Badd Dream!!!!! Cover by the Nitemare....1.......2.....3!!!! **The scene freezes, Rob just sits there staring, you can almost see the tear form in his eye.** NRO: Now that was a great fucking match! **The scene starts back up to the much anticipated battle between NRO and Pledge Alligance for the EWA Universal Championship. Let's hear it as Carl Wild and Tige' called it...** Tige: It's all but over for Osbourne now. I told you all the money was on Pledge!! Wild: No you didn't, you said Nitemare was the sure bet! Tige: What? Red alert, red alert! There is an imposter loose that is posing as me!!! Wild: Pledge signaling for the Pledge Hammer!!!! Tige: No, Osbourne is up, kick to the gut...NRO ...BADD DREAM!!! BADD DREAM!!!!! Wild: Cover by the Nitemare....1.....2...3!!! Tige: I told you he'd win it all along! **Scene comes back to Rob seated on the couch, he rubs his face as if trying to snap out of a trance.** NRO: Wow, Pledge could really dance with the best of them. I wish I could beat him into oblivion one more time... **Scene cuts to The Nitemare diving from the top of the AIW Cell against Kyle Williams for the World Championship. Here we have Darren Mitchell and John Lexmark....let's listen...** JL: Yeah...Kyle drags Nitemare up, he is signalling for the Kyledriver....NO!!! Kick to the gut by Osbourne...BADD DREAM....BADD DREAM....BADD DREAM!!!!! DM: OH FUCK!!!! JL: Cover! 1.....................................................2.......................................................3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ROSENBERG: Here is your winner AND NEW AIW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION...."THE NITEMARE" ROB OSBOURNE!!!!! **Again the scene shifts back to Osbourne.** NRO: Unbelievable. Sure, so I've seen my fair share of hits, and I have hit my share of bongs. But how many of you fans out there have ever wondered, what would it be like to hear what the Nitemare thinks about today's top issues not only in sports entertainment, but the whole world! **He turns to face the camera to his left.** NRO: Well, now you can! The AIW presents to you, in conjunction with Pro Wrestling Network, Rob Osbourne's Hits from the Bong! A new weekly variety show where you fans out there will have the chance to send me your questions about any topic, and I will give you my take on them, right here each and every friday night at 9:00, 8:00 central!!! Director: And cut...that was fabulous Mr. Osbourne, I am looking forward to working with you dollface! NRO: Hey now Mr. Happy, stp the fuck off, no entrada pal, the Nitemare has an "exit only" piping system if ya know what I mean! Director: Oh silly, Cristall knows all there is to know about the hunk of man that is Rob Osbourne! NRO: Awe man, come on, you just pitched a tent in yer knickers just talking about me, man, that's gross, you're a fucking queer? Director Cristall: Oh, is the great Rob Osbourne a homophobe? NRO: No, but I hate faggots! Get away from me you cock suking... Director Cristall: Cock sucking what Mr. Osbourne? Cock sucking cock sucker? yes, so I smoke the bone, as you would so savagely state it, so what? NRO: Dude, that's just plain sick. How can you look at another man's hairy ass and say "ooooh yeah, I gotta have that?" that is straight up whacked! Director Cristall: Oh it isn't you're hairy ass I want sexy! NRO: Get out. Now you godamned fairy!!! **Rob pulls back his fist and Cristall runs off screaming. Just then the beautiful woman from the last chapter in the Book of Osbourne appears in the shadows. She lets out a PSSSST in the directin of the AIW Champion. He notices her and rushes over. She pulls him into the shadows and shoves her tongue down his throat. He slides his hand up her skirt but she smacks him lovingly on the hand and whispers "I don't have time right now" and then she slips out. Rob stands, adjusting himself as a stage hand across the studio begis yelling obscenities as others start shuffeling about. Just then Christina Danky walks into the room, in almost slow motion. She steps up to the Nitemare as he takes a quick seat on a box to conceal his Lance Corporal standing at attention.** Mz. D: Rob, how are you today? NRO: Oh, I'm good, and you? Mz. D: Let's cut the bullshit Osbourne, where the hell has the big bad MOD been this week? We put alot of money into signing him at your request, and now he can't even show up for TV against a mediocre at best opponent? What the hell? NRO: Relax your highness, The Master has his moments, and he may lose a step or two, but when it comes time to dance, their isn't a more graceful partner you'd like, nor a more vicious. When this guy was in his prime, he could take your big bad booty daddy to the limit, I would have put money on it! Mz. D: Is that right? Ya see Robbie, i may just agree with you, but the key word in what you said ..."was in his prime" and in his prime he is no longer! NRO: Whoa, you sounded just like Master Yoda!!! Mz. D: What? NRO: Mind you never. Hehe! Mz. D: You are such a playboy aren't you Mr. Osbourne? The big bad Nitemare! What is it the rest of the world sees in you that I just can't through the layers of shit to see? NRO: Oh baby, all you have to do is ask and I'll... **Donovan Torigianni walks up behind Rob.** NRO: ...show you anything any side of me you want, through all the layers! **Donovan squeezes Rob's shoulder and Rob says "Owwwwww" as he turns.** NRO: Hey there big man.... Donovan: ...... NRO: Oh dude, you walked up in the middle of me saying that didn't you? Dude, it wasn't even like that man! I swear to god!!! Donovan: I didn't hear anything Rob, should I have? Mz. D: Nevermind Rob, we'll finish this whole thing later, do you understand me? He had better not make me look bad, or that family of yours you two keep insisting are worthe the money and the smart ass remarks from! Donovan: Hey now, I had nothing to do with bringing in the fucking Stoned Family Osbourne ok! NRO: What is wrong with my family already? Mz. D: You're cousin Tim couldn't even get the job done against T-Money for crying out loud! Your brother's little friend Shane Hillard better take care of SickBoy this Sunday, or they are going to be on thin ice Rob, is that clear? NRO: Cristall! Oh, and that was cute by the way, the gay ass segment director, which one of you clowns idea was that? **Donovan smiles as Mz. D just looks at Rob in disbelief.** Donovan: Sorry man, I had to... NRO: Anywdamnedway! Aren't you two even going to ask me if I'll be able to get the job done against Bruno of Dick Squad? **Christina and Donovan just shake their heads and walk out the door. ** NRO: You guys actually have no doubts on this one huh? This is amazing, no "don't get too fucked up before your match Rob" no "try not to puke during the match Rob" no "don't grab any hot chicks tits on the way to the ring Rob" wow!! I gotta lay off the pills, I'm seeing shit! **The scene fades to black as Osbourne walks out of the studio.** |
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