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| **As the scene opens, we are the same place we were just minutes ago. Rob is still spinnign donuts in the grassy field next door to the arena in Chicago. He speeds up then slows down. PWN Reporter Ira Huffingpaint pulls up in a production truck and Rob slows down. Ira motions to him that it is time for their pre PPV interview segment, another part of Osbournes lucrative contract. Rob walks up and takes a seat at the make shift set they have spared every expense of creating. Fucking corporate America.....** |
| Ira: Mr. Osbourne, it is a pleasure seeing you again. Rob: Well Ira old buddy, the pleasure is all yours! Ira: Pompous ass. Anyway, we wanted to follow up with you on your thoughts about the war in Iraq, a war that a few weeks ago you forsaw and have thus far called right down the middle. Rob: What the fuck do you want to know? And furthermore, what did you expect from Rob Osbourne, other than the unadulterated truth about the reality of things? I am the world's smartest, handsomest, richest, well, not THE richest, but pretty fucking close. I am the man everybody other man wants to be, and the man that every woman wants to be with, and at one time had their chances. But now that i am going to be a dad again, and somebody's old man once more, you bitches in the world can just be satisfied with even getting to see me. And enjoy THAT while you can. Ira: Is that an indication that your days inside the ring are nearly through? Rob: You'd like that wouldn't you Ira? Everyone wants to see that, even the Devil himself, because , quite frankly, I;m taking away all of his attention. You see just like Lu Yen, SickBoy, Chris Reinhardt, Z-Pac, Mike Van Pro, Andu, and any other IoA jobbers out there, they are ALL jealous of the simple existance and perseverance of me that you all quiver at my every move, praying my next will be the one pehind a podium, teary eyed and emotional, calling it quits. NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN wrong answer, try again dumbass!!! And next time remember,t here are no stupid questions, only stupid people! Ira: Back to the war, what do you think is bext for the Iraqi regime, the Ba'ath party? Rob: Just like Lu Yen, and SickBoy, they are headed for certain defeat, and just like Lu and SickBoy, their demise is at their own fingertips. All three had opportunity after opportunity to keep these things from happening. But what prevented it, pride, envy, and greed. Damn, ya'll fucked up, you know that, right? Ira: And, any final thoughts on the PPV, any Nitemareish predicitions? Rob: For my match, or all the matches? Ira: All of them... Rob: Sure... 2Phat vs Chemical X Winner: The people that don't speed to the arena, cause this match will put the earlybirds to sleep. TLC Title Match: Hell in the Cell Andu vs "Daydreamer" Chris Osbourne Winner: My baby brother will whoop Andu's retarded Boston ass. No DQ, No Countout, Winner gets International Title Shot later in night Lu Yen vs Sickboy Winner: No real winner, as the man that gets his hand raised has to fight me later but the one that advances will be Lu Yen. International Title Match Rob Osbourne vs Sickboy/Lu Yen Winner Winner: Hmmm, lemme think, get the fuck outta here, I got this one dog! Former Tag Partners Climb in the ring Trent Davidson vs Pledge Allegiance Winner: While i wish my other brother would make his family's name proud, I feel trent will finally pull out the upset in what will most likely be Pledge's last match. Sad really, I guess it took so much out of him to finally beat me that he has nothing left to give. Or prove, either way, its his dance to end. Father and Son Do Battle Jeff Jericho vs Jeff Jericho Jr Winner: Hopefully they will kill each other, then we would all be better off. But if I had to pick a victor, i'd have to go with Junior. Tag Team Title Match Raw/Nitro vs Street Justice vs Death Squad vs Mayhem/Damien Do we still have tag teams in the IoA? I hadn't noticed... Special Attraction Match Paul Blair vs Astro Winner: My main man, Paul "Pimpin' Ain't Easy" Blair Shawshank vs Z-Pac Winner: Finally, Z-Pac can get a W, something he hadn't done since I took my title back from him. Main Event: World Title Match "Riverdragon" Chris Reinhardt vs MVP Winner: If it isn't Chris Reinhardt, then I don't think there will be an IoA left to come back to on monday, because i for one will head to the HCW if that happens. As will the rest of the roster, no one wants to see Reinhardt lose that title more than me, but by God, not to Mike Van Pro!!!! Ira: Rob, thanks so much, and good luck against whoever you face... Rob: Ira, babe, i don't need luck, I'm Rob Osbourne!!! |
| **Rpb walks off whistling Van Halen's 'Standing on top of the world" as Ira Huffingpaint looks on. Its time to Anniahlate Lu Yen and StickBoy. FTB** |
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