**The scene opens to find "The Nitemare" Rob Osbourne's purple Ferarri parked in the field next to the Pay Per View stadium in Chicago, Illinois. He is seated atop the hood waiting for the other superstars to show up. They all always get to the venue after "The Nitemare", yet another reason why he is the top dog on the block. He decides to spark up a pre-match doob; ironicaly the only one he has smoked in the presence of an IoA camera this week. Weird huh? He feels the green start kicking in and he gets one of those typical stoner cheesey ass grins across his punam. He starts rambling aimlessly just riping cut down after cut down on Lu Yen and Sickboy, his prospective 'competition' for the "BIG" Annihalation 2 PPV tomorrow. **
Rob Osbourne: So the little jobber that could, Lu Yen, hates moi? Well Lu, I don't hate you. I love you Lu. I want to save you; to save you from yourself and the absolute peril you face by even thinking about climbing in that ring with me. You have no idea what I will do to you do you Lu? Have you really though long and hard about it? And when i say 'long and hard' i know your mind will immediatley revert to your days on the independant hardcore pornography circuit. Yep, the days with Big Bertha, boy those were something huh? Too bad she stuck it out in the AIW and actually made a bigger name for herself than you did Lu. Hell, she carried Scottimus Maximus to the Hardcore Championship once you got out of her life.
In fact, you know what I'm going to do for you Lu? I am going to throw you a party. Yessir, a big ole Southern bash! Complete with hog moss, pigs feet, collared greens, biscuits, sausage gravy, country ham, chitterlings, pickled eggs, gumbo, jambalaya, and then, after you have eaten the greatest meal your little rat bagging Japanese immigrant ass has ever seen, a meal that would be a typical breakfast for an Osbourne, I will give you the beating of your life.

Think about it Lu, the greatest meal of your life, and the worst beating of your life, both in the same day, both from the same person. A person that cares about you Lu. I care about all of my sweat shop employees. I got a million more like you Lu. Your eyes are already squinty, and you have little hands and feet, tiny, like a baby. So you can manufacture my detailed action figures. I love the Oriental peoples. All fucking kinds, I like the Gooks, the Chinks, the Japs, the fucking slant eyed's, you name it. I like those little fuckers that eat cats and dogs. I like those ones that only eat fish and rice. I like the ones that make all the electronic shit too. The Asian people are our friends, my fellow Americans. And we must show them , with tough love, how much we care.

Lu, are you sure you aren't from North Korea? Because I ten to run through people like the North Koreans every night. They talk a lot of shit, flash some weapons, but when you strip them down and put them on an equal playing field, they are skinny little fucks that can't defend themselves. More defenseless than an Iraqi living in Bag H Dad.

But I digress. I have spent such vast amounts of my very precious, gold like time talking about the little amputee from the rice patty field that i forgot about that other worthless sack of skin, that fucking famined spirit running around in a sagging skin suit. The the IoA's running joke, SickBoy.

You know SickBoy, you remind me alot of myself at your age. Except I didn't suck, I had charisma, personality, talent, drive, and ambition. But other than that, we're alot alike, you and me. Well, who am I kidding, we both know you couldn't even carry my jock. Ah yes, here come the worn out cliches that seem to fill the Saturday night IoA airwaves. Hey, I tried to fight it, but I had to go with the flow. So, witht hat said.

Let's have a long look at Rob Osbourne' top ten reason's he will sucessfully defend his IoA International Championship YET AGAIN!!!

10. In my last five IoA  matches, I have beaten Chris Reinhardt for the World title, then lost it back the next week, then I beat19 other IoA stupidstars, then I beat Z-Pac for the International title, then I beat Elmo last week. What have your last five IoA matches looked liked boys?

9. I am the only active 2X International Champion in the IoA and am on pace to break the record for longest title reign.

8. I come from the greatest wrestling family of all time, do you two even have a family?

7. I'm filthy rich, don't you guys share a duplex next door to the dump?

6. I'm the only one of us to not only hold a the IoA world title, but to hold ANY world titles. In fact, I would be willing to wager that I have held more world championships, than you two brain farts have ever held titles period, combined.

5. My dick is bigger,

4. My balls are hairier.

3. The pot I smoke costs more than your salaries combined.

2. I lay down beside the hottest woman on the planet every night, whilst you two lie down beside each other.

1. I'm Rob fucking Osbourne.

I think #1 alone is reason enough that I won't just beat you, either of you, but I will eat you alive. I will make your nights become very sleepless. For the Badd Dream's have just begun for Lu Yen, and SickBoy's Nitemare's are about to get even worse.

Life is paiN

Deal with it....
**Osbourne hops back behind the wheel of his sports car and starts spinning donuts. Maybe he will get out and talk one more time before Annihalation 2 takes to the air waves....FTB**
1