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| Your Mayhem don't dance and The ShowStoppers can't rock and roll |
| **The scene opens to find Osbourne once again, aboard his private jet, bound for the Heatwave destination of the week. He is, as usual, on the phone discussing business plans with his "Mentor." Things in the past few weeks have taken sudden twists and turns; more than ever before. Let's listen in on the phone conversation...** Rob: Hey brother, we need to talk; there's a slight change of plans... Man: Like what? Rob: Like the fact that when I did the digging you said I should do, I found out I had a brother I never knew...a brother I actually have a connection with. The plan to rub out Pledge is off the table. Man: Well I'm afraid it isn't that easy Rob. He isn't MY brother, and I could give a shit less if you want to bond with him or not. He's going down for what he did to me! Rob: Then you're gonna have to go through me to get it. Man: No, you're going to change your mind. Rob: Fat chance. Man: We'll see about that. But let's talk about you Rob. What are your plans for taking out the largest stable since the nWo? Rob: Who, the Master's Of Disaster? Puhlease dude, you're bullshitting me, right? Man: No, Rob, while you may think you are the greatest thing since sliced bread, I think you had best not count out the tag team champions. That Nitro character is huge, and with Wayne Black, SickBoy, Raw, and Mayhem all in there at the same time, how do you plan on lasting Rob? Huh? Rob: The same way I outlasted every man in that CWF Rumble to get a shot at Z, by being better than each and every godamned one of em! Man: Is that confidence or cockiness? Rob: Both man, you know that's what I'm all about, the 3 C's....Confidence, Cockiness, and Chronic! Man: Yeah, yeah, but who's gonna put Nitro out of this ? He's nearly twice the size of anyone else involved.... Rob: Point taken, and duelly noted. However, I think dear sir, that it will be Nitro that takes out Raw. Just as Wayne Black will take out SickBoy. Then Mayhem and Wayne Black will take out Nitro. And then Mayhem will take out Wayne Black, and then Eric will take out Mayhem. You get the drift. Man: And who exactly does Rob Osbourne eliminate? Rob: The last one left after they all beat the fudge out of each other...this sport is 90% mental and 8% physical. Man: Oh brother, what's the other 2%? Rob: Breaking the law, breaking the law! Man: And what makes you so confident that Nitro will turn on Raw? Rob: You at your desk? Man: Yeah... Rob: Sign on to AIM and let me show you... **The screen changes so that we are seeing the entire computer screen of Rob Osbourne. He signs on to AOL Instant Messeenger and sends a file to his "Mentor." Moments later we hear the "da-ding" and a message pops up** {CENSORED}: Ok, so you sent me a match of theirs...big deal... Rob: No, put it in slow motion as Raw is hitting a few high spots. Look at Nitro's face... {CENSORED}: Yeah, what about it? He looks like he wishes he was ripping the guy apart the way his partner is... Rob: EXACAMUNDO SENOR!!! Take any prize from the bottom shelf...play again and win, and you can trade up for a Medium! Whadayasay? {CENSORED}: Go on.... Rob: His eyes cry out..."How long Dear God, must your servant be stuck in the shadows of this skinny little prick? When Lord...WHENS GONNA BE MY TIME????!?!?!?!?!?" {CENSORED}: Really Rob, enough with the ripped off lines from bad pot movies! Rob: WHAT?!?!?! Jay and Silent Bob is by far Kevin Smith's second best film, at least! It was a work of genius...I can almost quote every line of it.... {CENSORED}: I KNOW!! The WHOLE f'ing world knows Rob....watch a new movie will ya, cause if I hear Snootchie Bootchies start coming out of your mouth, I'll take you out my damned self... Rob: Whatever....listen, I gotta run, I'll sign back on later after I get settled into the hotel... {CENSORED}: If you fly with a replication of your penthouse, why do you stay in hotels? Rob: Because I can, I'm rich, ain't it cool? {CENSORED}: When I said to get new lines, I didn't mean regurgitated shit from Tige...it didn't work for him in 1997, and it ain't working for you... Rob: I have but one thing to say to that.....SNOOGANS!!!!!! **Osbourne closes the window, as he does, the screen fades to black.** |
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