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| Putting Things in Black and White |
| **The scene opens to find Rob Osbourne seated behind his desk aboard his jet on its way to the Heatwave destination of the week. Rob is apparently on the phone with the "Mentor" that bailed him out of jail just three days ago. Let's listen in to the call as it happens...** Rob Osbourne: Hey man it's me! What's up? Man: There is a problem. My visa is expired and I will not be able to get out of Napal in time to make it to Heatwave champ, you're on your own. Rob Osbourne: Ah, that's about my luck, but I got this dog, no sweat, you just wait til next week to debut and we will already be through with Pledging Alligance to the wall. Man: I have the utmost faith in you Rob, if I didn't, I would pay the visa deputy off and pass thru. Rob Osbourne: Hmmm...how much would that run you, if you were to not have such great confidence in me? Man: About five hundred thousand dollars would cover it...chump change to a billionaire philanthropist such as yourself, right? Rob Osbourne: Chump change no doubt, but in all honesty, it would be a waste of a half mil; Pledge alone is not a problem, he has never beaten me, he will never beat me. What more can I say to him to make him understand and accept the cards as they lie on the table man? Man: That's Pledge for ya...I tell you what, if you could figure out what his family is all about, then maybe you could figure out the enigma that is Pledge! Rob Osbourne: Enigma? The only enigma about Pledge for me is the enigmatic question of how he has made it this far for this long with such little talent? Man: I hear ya loud and clear. But seriously, I saw that his mommy called. Christina's got friends in NYC right? Get a hold of his cell phone records for the day and trace the number, go rough up his momma. and he'll eventually buckle and make him that much easier for you to defeat as he will be mentally absent for the event. Rob Osbourne: That's pretty evil man. I like it. But I'll do one better, I will not only call in a few favors at the NYPD blue, I made a few new fans while in the holding cell, namely the best Private Investigator in New York City! Peter M. Vito himself! Man: Sounds like a plan. You have my number, keep me posted. **The call ends and Osbourne telphones the PI's office and schedules an appointment AOL Instant Messenger with Mr. Vito...moments later the chat box pops up...** NitemareRobOsb: Mr. Vito!! PM_Vito: Mr. Osbourne, what do I owe the pleasure of your time? NitemareRobOsb: I need to cash in that favor. PM_Vito: Who's the mark? NitemareRobOsb: Pledge Alligence. PM_Vito: How soon to you need the order filled? NitemareRobOsb: Asap my man! PM_Vito: I got the e-mail...hold on...shit Rob, that's alot you want to find out in a short freakin time. I got my resources yeah, but come on, you can't be serious? NitemareRobOsb: The sooner you get it to me, the more money you make, how does that do you for motivation you wop bastard? PM_Vito: Now your talking my language you redneck fuckface. NitemareRobOsb: I will have my laptop with me in Philadelphia...do not dissapoint me again Mr. Vito... **The bubble is closed and the scene fades out. When it comes back up from black we see Osbourne backing his Ferarri off of the plane on the runway and speeding towards the interstate, not slowing a bit until arriving at the Crowne Plaza. He checks into his room, sinks into the lack leather sofa and sparks a doob. Once he has smoked it down he kicks back and rests his head...and that was when the New Nitemare's started....** GREAT VOICE: Robert....stand my son...I have summoned you here to show you the path that lies before you... Rob Osbourne: Oh not more of this shit. This is really getting gay, ya know? GREAT VOICE: True. It will be shorter this time, less puking. I promise, hey , I swear by myself that it will be the way I say...look at the path you have taken in life. Who are the two biggest pains in your side? Rob Osbourne: Oh shit, that's easy man, Pledge and Van Pimple-covered-rectal-oraphice. GREAT VOICE: You will wake up to the sound of your phone ringing...be prepared and think hard about the two names you just mentioned.... Rob Osbourne: This is ome good ass weed man! I have to get the guy to try some of this! GREAT VOICE: Oh come on, gimme a freakin bus pass over here! You say I am wearing out the trips, making thm almost seem gay? What about the constant ripping off of movie lines? Huh you fuckin prick? Rob Osbourne: Listen. I say what comes to ind, and I always think of something fitting from a good flick to say. It's all about the comedic timing. GREAT VOICE: Oh you don't think I have comedic timing? What about Moses and the Staff that turned to a snake? That was good, because Moses didn't know that Pharoah's magicians and sorcerers could also turn their staffs to serpents. Rob Osbourne: Where is the comedic timing in that? GREAT VOICE: The comedic timing, smart ass, happened seconds later when Moses picked his serpent up by the tail andit turned back into a staff. Rob Osbourne: And that's funny because? GREAT VOICE: Because when Pharoah looked at his Sorcerer and Magician and ordered them to turn their serpents back to staffs, they were struck by the cobra's and one of them died. Rob Osbourne: Well that's not what my Bible says... GREAT VOICE: Half of that book is mistranslated....guess that's what I get for trusting man to do God's job...sheesh...I almost have to do everything myself...except for creation, I had a select few people that I was going to aloow to fill in for me, then Congress put a ban on human cloning. Rob Osbourne: I'd say somebody in Washington got paranoid after seeing the Sixth Day. GREAT VOICE: How do you watch so many movies? Rob Osbourne: Come on, you're God, you know how...Jesus H. Christ... GREAT VOICE: Yes? Did you call me? Rob Osbourne: I feel we have swayed drastically from why you brought me here....AGAIN! GREAT VOICE: Oh dear...so i have. Ugh, I knew Dad made the ganja up here to strong, i suffer daily from CRS... Rob Osbourne: Can't remember shit? GREAT VOICE: Word. Anyway, look, every one of you little monkeys with souls doesn't know it, but YOU ALL have a twin somewhere. Yours may soon be the King of Pop. Rob Osbourne: Very funny. I've already ben the King of Pop, ask Pledge, I beat him at SuperPOP for the EWA Universal Title. Hell, I beat Pledge for the SAW Undisputed Title too. That is poetic justice, beat the owner for the promotions belt. Ha! And after I won the SAW Undisputed Title, I was the KING OF THE WORLD!! GREAT VOICE: Uhm, no, but thanks for trying! You weren't even the top tier champ Rob! Rob Osbourne: What?!?!?!?!?!?! I was the UNDISPUTED CHAMPION!!!! GREAT VOICE: Yeah, and Hellstone was the World champ. Rob Osbourne: Oh puhlease, Hellstone didn't earn that belt, Pledge forced it up his ass with a coating of K-Y for his wedding. That belt never meant anything in that fed. That's why my alcoholic attorney won the damn thing in his first match in three years. GREAT VOICE: I grow tired now. Listen closely. Everyone has their twin Rob. The chances of you encountering two identical people on the world that do not rewalize they are twins is 1 in 1,000,000,000; but you have beaten better odds before. Rob Osbourne: And this time I have one of Rochester's finest PI's on the case.... GREAT VOICE: Right...like his work can out do me...okay.... **The God like figure snaps his fingers and Osbourne's cell phone rings. He answers it and it is Peter M. Vito. "Rob, you ain't gonna believe this...I'm emailing you the file now." he says and hangs up...you flip open your laptop and boot it up while you splash some cold water on your face and get a cold Heineken from the fridge and roll another joint. You open your Outlook window and open the file from Vito.....** |
| Mr. Osbourne, I have completed my investigations of Pledge Alligance as you had requested. I also believe that sup[lying results this quickly would negate some sort of bonus. As it were, I have indeed found out the information you wanted. It seems he was born to a couple in suburban Rochester some years ago, which is information I am sure you are more than knowledgable of. However it what I discovered when speaking with his mother, disguised as a United States Census worker, that you wshould find either very good news or very bad news. It seems that 'Momma" was a little unfaithful back in her heyday...ole Pledge is somewhat of a bastard! It turns out that she believes very strongly that Pledge Alligence, you're sworn enemy for almost a decade, and you ropponent this weekend in Philadelphia is...YOUR bastard brother! I expect my 'bonus' soon. -P.M. Vito |
| **Rob's jaw drops. He sits staring at the last sentence for almost an hour. Thoughts swirl in his mind over and over. He now realizes that it all makes sense. The rivalry behind Pledge and he. The fighting, but the mutual respect, and at times, admiration of the other. He sits upright...finally gaining his composure after being hit with this ton of bricks.** Rob Osbourne: Sure, I'll buy into this possibility. But what I have to say Pledge, is this. If it is true, if we are brothers, THIS is the last fight...ever. Sure, we'll always smack each other around, but this is the lat match. I told Chris in the AIW, brothers shouldn't fight each other for business, they should do it for pleasure. And I do get pleasure from beating you to a pulp, which i will do this Sunday. Don't think that for a moment me finding out this new information will cause me to go easier in your punishment. I am still the eldest brother, I still call the shots. Deal with it. **FTB** |
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