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| Beyond the Mat: Pledge Alligence and the curse of being 2nd best |
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| Hosted by Rob Osbourne |
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| **The scene opens to find Rob Osbourne at the PWN studios. He is wearing a double breasted smoking jacket, complete with renaisance pipe and reading spectacles. He is seated in a large plush arm chair by a fire place and library on the PWN studio soundstage. The camera mand gives him the countdown....five...four...three...two.....** |
| Rob Osbourne: Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for joining me here on the Pro Wrestling Network. I am here tonight to join a Nation in paying tribute to its hero. Yes I am speaking of my opponent this week at Heatwave, the legendary, sensational, charismatic, enigmatic...the imcomparable...Pledge Alligence! Oh how the years have treated Pledge with little mercy. It has been so tumultuous for him at times that I'm sure he doesn't recall half of his lifes accolades, or a fifth of his misfortunes. With that in mind, please, join me, for a special presentation of Behind The Mat: Pledge Alligence. Ah the yester years. 1996, back when Mike Stewert was the best in the business and the Horsemen ran rampant. It was then that a little known name in the industry at that time would get his start. He competed under a plethora of assumed identities, even wearing a mask; we still aren't positive if it was to hide his identity, or to protect the women in the crowd from being cursed by laying their eyes upon the unclean beast. Jimmy Blast a top tier worker at the time was earning extra money working part time in an indy fed, and it was there that he met OUR hero. They faced off, with the out of town heel, Blast, jobing to the local Indy face, Pledge. Jimmy shrugged it off, took the money to take the dive from the promoter to put his star over, and then left town. Done deal. Fast forward to 1997. June 19, 1997 to be exact. The day the world and the sports entertainment business lost a legend, my father, Joe "The Crippler" Osbourne. Apparently, Pledge had been hunting down Blast ever since Jimmy put the notion in the kids head that he would make it in this business. So he decides to seek out the one star he could beat, Jimmy Blast. Jimmy Blast was with me, in the Horsemen in the MWWF. Well, here came ole Pledgie Wedgie on the prowl. My father's funeral had just finished and we were having a wake at the Nitemare Club and all of a sudden they break into the news broadcast with a special report...some idiot is desecrating a fresh grave at a local cemetary. They go there live and who do we see, Pledge Alligence, dick in hand, pissing on my father's fresh dirt. Turns out he was looking to make a name for himself with Jimmy Blast, but Blast would have killed him...he jobbed because the promoter told him to, but Pledge didn't buy it, he actually thought he could whoop the old geezer. Anyway,since Blast wouldn't take him seriously, much from my advice, he decides he'll pick another big dog on the porch to use as his stepping stool. I am quite sure, contrary to what Pledge may say today, he will admit that switching his focus from Blast to me was the best thing he ever did for his career. Oh it's true, it's damned true! If it hadn't been for Rob Osbourne, Pledge Alligence would have faded out after Blast humiliated him. So we got it on, in the ring. I made him pay, dearly. I beat him senseless. Then we faced again in several tag and six man matches, with him never gaining a win over me personally. Then I left the MWWF along with most anyone who had sense to smell a sinking ship did. Pledge on the other hand, saw his big chance to be a champion. He stuck it out, at first at least. Then He showed up in the EWA, where I had been. But low and behold, he had not wanted to experience the ass beating I had given him before, so he waited to come to the EWA after I had left for greener pastures. I did some work around Japan and the Indy circuit, taking time off to spend with my newborn son and my grieving family. But then the unthinkable happened. Pledge won the EWA Universal Championship. So I was enticed by the owner, Edge , to come back and take mybelt back. And I did, beating Pledge for the second time. But it seems Pledge's memory is as useful as his finishing maneuver, because he says I only beat him twice in singles matches. WRONG-O! It was a total of four times Pledgenator. I beat you once in MWWF, twice in EWA, and once in the CWF pal. But the Pledge-o-Matic does seem to see a common thread in his life doesn't he fans? For instance, when he couldn't gain the momentum he wanted against the Trifecta back in the CWF he came calling to the one man he knew he could depend on to kick a little ass. Me. So I went, but I double crossed him, before he had the chance to do it to me. So I kidnapped Don Russo, held him hostage in an empty Philadelphia warehouse, force feeding him 99 cent McChicken sandwiches. And then I beat Pledge up again. Then he cried to me again... " PLEASE ROBBIE ROB, PLEASE !?!? HELP A BROTHER OUT!!! THEY'RE GONNA KILL ME!! I CAN'T BEAT Z-PAC ON MY OWN!!! I NEED YOU ROB OSBOURNE, YOU'RE MY ONLY HOPE!!!!!" So with my ego stroked and in check, I agreed and we burned the fucking house down, running off the Trifecta. And what did they do with their time? The IoA version 6.0, well, like I say about AOL, if it was so freaking good, why did you ever have to go beyond Version 1.0? So I open the NCW and Pledge decides to come work for me. Whoopdidiedodahday! I cut him a break, cuase I knew he was tough, but I also knew he could be toyed with quite easily, and for me, half the fun was watching others rop him from pillar to post. Like when Gravedigger did it. Like when Darklight Warrior did it. And DLW didn't just beat him, he bit him! Took Pledge's right ear lobe plum off, ask him, he'll show you the scars. He had to udergo cosmetic surgery, where they removed skin from his empty scrotum to make a new ear lobe. Pledge gets depressed soon thereafter because I didn't soon feed him his opponents and Maniac beat the tar out of him...yes, THAT Maniac. So he leaves, seemingly never to be heard from again. In the meantime, I decide to kick back and retire. Then ring a ding ding, here he comes calling again! Like a dinner bell, always at the same time...when he was in trouble he couldn't get himself out of. This time it was Z-Pac again...but in the IoA. So I went, I saw, and I actually stuck by him, until getting an unprecedented fifth straight loss; then I let him have it again. And , as usual, he tucked tail and ran and opened up his own fledgling attempt of a promotion. The S.A.W. Well, less than two weeks after the press conference of SAW opening, I was nearly killed by Jeff Jericho Junior and Chris Reinhardt in Toronto. So I walked out on my remaining three weeks of my IoA contract. Who rings me the day the story hits the wire? My old friend Pledge. With friends like him, who needs enemies, am I right or what? So he says come work for me, you know I will do things the right way. Os I thought about it, and I went with it. It all seemed fine. then he hands the world title to his heterolifemate Shawn Hillard...hey Trixie, from what I know about these two, Hellstone is the real reason you can't get Pledge on the altar. That and he likes banging fat chics and gay guys. It's true. Look at these pictures here, the first one was taken my Private Investigators not three days ago at a Phat Woman Brothel in East Lansing, Michigan. The second photo is the black and white 3X5 ad that Pledge runs in the Village Voice personals under "Bi-Curious" and the lat picture belongs to Pledge's ex-boyfriend, Rod Fosburne....hmmm....wonder if he went for him because he was blonde, wore leather and his name sounded like mine......uhm...not that I care...that's gross.... |
| But now we have to ask ourselves, knowing what we know ...is this the man we want as OUR HERO? I think not. So, as has been the norm for over five years, when Pledge falls flat on his face, I will still be there for you...your new hero, me and my Deity. We shall give you new reason to live. For the last image the IoA will have of Pledge Alligance will be moments before I plant him on his head with a Badd Dream, and this is the greatest way to view Pledge...in his weakest state...the state he always seems to be when he's across the ring from me. It's gonna be fun to take a trip down memory lane one more time for you Pledge. Unfortunately for you, I know the way and plan to skip through with me eyes closed. Lord knows it won't take much more than that to make you do this..... |
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| FTB |