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| **The scene opens up from black to see the headline of the Nashville, Tennessee morning paper featuring Rob Osbourne. As the camera zooms away from the article it is in the corner of the screen as PWN Anchor man Adam White gives us the story from the PWN Nashville news channel WTVF** Adam White: Professional wrestler and Nashville native Rob Osbourne, known to fans worldwide more recently as The Eternal Heel, but forever will be known to Nashvillians and wrestling fans worldwide as "The Nitemare" was arrested Sunday in New York city for the murder of fellow grappler Jeff Jericho Junior in the summer of 2002. However, Osbourne insists that he will be out of jail after the "pathetically slow police 'staff' gets their shit together." Mr. Osbourne went onto say that he may or may not be guilty of the crime, but under Federal 'Double Jeopardy' laws he cannot be tried for the crime since a man confessed and was convicted of said crime. Mr. Osbourne granted PWN journalist and somewhat staple of Rob Osbourne's media link, Ira Huffingpaint a one on one interview from behind the bars of this Manhatten jail. However, we at PWN must point out that Mr. Osbourne has been cleared of all charges as reported by Gannet affiliate The Tennessean when a spokesman, Chief Ron White of the 59th street precicnt in lower Manhatten. Here now with the live exclusive, is PWN's very own Ira Huffingpaint... Ira: This is Ira Huffingpaint live from Manhatten's 59th street precinct holding cell area. With me is former IoA World and International champion, The Eternal Heel, "The Nitemare" Rob Osbourne. Thank you for joining us Mr. Osbourne. Rob: My pleasure Ira, because I have alot of things to say to alot of people and they had all better pay very close fucking attention. I have no toxins in my system for the first time in...oh, I don't know, ten...fifteen years. Last night was brutal, I felt like shit, my body was DTing, and if you don't think you DT coming off of the budha, then you are insane. I have been able to do a lot of thinking though. Sitting in a jail does that to you, ya know? I mean it's like God says 'Go ahead, take the time to figure it out. I'm not going to really punish you, because that's why I let you make laws, but I have to make you sit in time out when you are bad.' Ira: So you see this little coming down period as divine intervention? Rob: Yeah kind of. I mean, look at like this, He has been looking out for me for soooooo long and I just keep avoiding it. I know what He wants me to do. And now that I have seen that even when you walk on the dark side, you can still find the light. To be perfect. To do everything perfectly; to live by the Book. Ira: One would assume you are talking about God then? Rob: A deity yes, but not the God you speak of. This Deity is a Titan, and not the shitty team that disgraces my kyline, but a Titan in the ways that I myself am a prophet of this Titan. He is the Deity and I am His prophet. I do his will, and I speak with the hands of venegance. Ira: Well Rob, obviously being sober doesn't make you any less strange and indecipherable, but knowing you and following your career, did you just hint that Vengeance is your Deity? Rob: While Vengeance may be a high stakes player, he is no Deity. No, I represent and speak on behalf of one who will show you, like he showed me, what EVIL is all about. My Friend will merely speak to the mountains and they will crumble in his majesty. He will whisper at the trees and they will fall like dominoes. Oh yes indeed, my Deity will crush down on all the IoA with great vengeance and furious anger! Ira: See, you did it again there, you aid Vengeance...and with all due respect, and fuck it, you're behind bars, I'll say it, you're a godamned liar 87% of the time, so is it Vengeance or isn't it Vengeance? Rob: Oh vengeance will be had, but no, it isn't Vengeance, and you know what Ira, wait til I get out of this cell, I haven't had a joint, a cigarette or a Heineken in 48 hours, you DO NOT want to fuck with me...i know where you live! Ira: I apologize Mr. Osbourne. Let's change the subject shall we? How about your upcoming match at Heatwave against your arch nemesis Pledge Alligence...will you even be able to compete in that match legally? Rob: See Ira, that's what I'm talking about, you don't fucking listen man. Didn't you hear the Chief say I was free as soon as all of the bullshit New York paperwork was processed? I swear to God people in the legal system, all facets of it in this state, from the idiots doing research at home, to the assholes working the court rooms, they all suck, and they are all as useless as tits on a borehog. Ira: So what do you think about Pledge then? Rob: Oh you want to know what The Nitemare thinks? You want to know how The Eternal Heel feels about the Red , White, and Blue retard? About Captain America? It's like this. Rob Osbourne -V- Pledge Alligance 6,789: The final fight. He listens to the leftists, the liberals on 99.7 talking shit to me...big deal, and yeah, their were members of my family that I don't like to claim, but we all have our black sheep. That's why Pledge hides behind an alias, because I'm sure their are enough demons in his closet to take over hell. Next week, Heatwave, I'm there, I'm beating his ass for good and it's over. There won't be any run ins by Hellstone this time to botch the save for you....there will be no saves. Unlike that pussy of a World Champion we have that turned my request for a steel chamber match down, I am sure Pledge, beings as he has the balls to make up for his lack of brains, will agree to it if I so issue it. And I do. What say you Pledge? Me, you, lots of hard iron and chain link, no one else gets in, neither of us can get out...not until the other is incapacitated? Ira: Interesting words from the former world champion...Adam, back to you... **As the scene begins to fade to black a medium height and build man wearing dark sunglasses and a leather jacket with Armani slacks walks up with a guard and Osbourne's cell is unlocked and the two men walk off. We are unable to see the man that bailed Osbourne out as the shot is fading back to the WSMV Studio where Adam White of PWN is standing bye.** Adam White: Wow, an issued challenge from Rob Osbourne to Pledge Alligance, saying 'let's make this the last go, and let's make it nasty' in so many words. One can only imagine what will happen when these two men who have been at each others throats for over five years step in the ring this Sunday at the IoA's Heatwave. For PWN as always, I am Adam White.... **The scene changes now to inside the car of the man who bailed out Rob Osbourne. He and The Nitemare are seated in the back seat of his Lincoln Continental . He sits silent and Osbourne dials a number on his cell phone, apparentyl calling IoA CEO Paul Blair who was released on 53 thousand dollars bond as being an accoplice to murder one, not covered by Double Jeopardy, and admitted to by Blair.** Rob: Paul, hey it's me. I'm out, yeah He picked me up from the precinct. No dude, you better get like Johnny Cochran or Robert Shapiro, cause yer fucked. Double Jeopardy doesn't cover you. Well, I don't think I can always ask Him if He could change it. That way Double Jeopardy can save you. I'm not sure if He'll do it though. ...right....yeah, He'll be there, and boy is Pledge going to shit on himself thrice whence it happens!!! Ooooh boy! All right dude. I'll talk to you later.... **Osbourne ends the call and he and his associate begin talking but the voice in undistinguishable, obviously a bad impression of some sort.** Rob: Hey dude, thanks for picking me up. I was wondering if Jack had gotten a hold of you or not, he said the paper work was in the mix but it should have ben done before today. I could have used you last night bra, that's for sure. Man: Rob, did you see that perfection is the only way to go when you were enjoying your stay at the Hotel Greybar? Rob: Oh so that was a part of my training to become the heir to the kingdom you rule over, huh? I can dig it. It felt good to know that I did it all by the book. I was crooked and deviant; methodical and tenacious. To know that I put that little mother canucker <<ooc: I had to use it, it was too good>> Triple J out of his misery felt good; to know I was above the law felt better. Man: Now you know that there can be no survivors spared. No innocent passers bye. When do the other two get here? Rob: Not sure, just like you, the deal was supposed to be done and they were supposed to be there last night. i don't know what the fuck happenned. Man: I'll check on them. The IoA had better watch out, it can't handle a Sabotage. Rob: Is that what the four of us shall be called then sire? Man: Ah, who knows, whatever happens happens. We'll let nature run its course. It's the best way to abuse it. And Captain Fancy Flag is going to wish he never did what he did to me. He's gonna pay. He's going to pay me with his blood!!!!! FTB |
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