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| The End? Heatwave was a success. It had gone down as perfect as perfect could have went. I got to beat on Z and Reinhardt, Ass-assin got his Ass-handed to him by Z, Pledge's little party got spoiled all to hell, and low and behold, my old friends Tige and The Edge came to town for the joyous occasion! It was a great night. Then I had to go home. Once the party had ended the night of Heatwave, it was 5:42 a.m. the next day. My eyes were burning and felt like two thirty pound weights trying to hold down mini blinds. I was so drunk and so high that I thought we wrestled a day earlier than we had. But the next morning brother, that was another story. When the booze and the THC finally got out of my system, I felt every ounce of pain the self proclaimed "Pain Killers" laid down. It was intense. It was brutal. It was over. Monday Night Meltdown I had finally gotten over my hangover and the six hour flight to Nashville. By the time I got home, it was time for Robbie to get out of school. I called Christina on the cell phone and asked her if she would pick him up, I was too tired to even make it home. I was gonna try and get as far into town as the Club, I could sleep on the couch in my office til I had enough energy to drive all the way to the penthouse. I went to put the key into the keyhole on the back door to the Club and found it unlocked. This normally wouldn't have been a big deal, except, no one was supposed to be here right now. I braced myself for what or who might be bhind the door. I slowly entered and as I did I heard a voice say "Chill the fuck out mate, it's only me!" I would know that voice anywhere, it was The Edge. I walked over to the bar and poured myself a shot of Goldschlagger and flipped the TV on CNN and hit the mute button and took a seat at the bar next to my old boss. "What's up?" he asked with a sure fire plan brewing in his head, I could sense it. "Well, I am supposed to call Blair today and see if I am booked or not, but I haven't been to bed yet dude, I have to crash soon or I won't be worth a fuck." I told him in a dazed state of mind, and I hadn't even smoked my first bowl of the day. He pulled a typical Edge move "Don't worry about calling Blair, I have already takn care of it. You, Chris Reinhardt, world title, Chambr match. No way in, no way out once the door has been welded shut. When one man is out, cold, motionless, then and only then will a bell be rung. Then you will take back your place at the table, then you will once again stand atop the mountain. You don't have to worry about Z-Puke, you don't have to worry about "The Golden MWWF JObber" Jeff Jericho, and you sure as hell won't have to worry about that Red, White, and Blue "Accident" either. Besides, even if they could figure out a way to get in that structure, they will have to get past me, Tige', and your brother." "No shit, Chris and Tige' are both willing to do that for me?" I questioned. "You bet your ass mate, and you had best not let us down, you got that?" he said cockily. "Riiiiight, like I would have a problem with this clown in a fair fight, jesus Edge, do you have any idea how long it has been since this asshole was in a FAIR fight? A long friggin time that's how long! I have had to sit and listen to him run his mouth when the MVP and the rest of the Boston Pops still captain'd the good ship IoA about how he was the better man but they were holding him back, then they leave and he finally gets his break and what happens? Like the spiritual vampires they are, Jericho and Z-Pac come crawling back from out of the dark places with their eyes squinted, even beneath their tinted lenses. With their claws out, fangs dripping with saliva, they lay waiting to feed on Reinhardt as soon as he gives them the chance." I turned from Edge as if i were speaking directly to the Boston Pops themselves. "Is it just to get back in the ring with me? Lord knows they both have had opportunity after opportunity to take out Chris Reinhardt, yet they continue to use him as human bait for the bad guy, The Eternal Heel. Why is that? Don't you have the stamina to go it one on one with me Z? What's wrong, are you still upset about how I took you to the brink the last time we fought, and since then, much like fine wine, I have only gotten better as time has went by. What about you Z? Been sitting at home eating the sugar loaves, watching SportsCenter while you pop the top on a Bud Light? Lemme tell you something Z, you want to be able to run with me now, you're gonna have to switch to Bud Light, it tastes great, but its less filling. And Jeff 'Fucking' Jericho. The legend that the headlines forgot. Jeff, its been an ongoing affair with you since the dawnof your pathetic, mediocre existance in wrestling. I go in, I burn down the house, the place gets smoke damaged, I head for the next victim, and you come in and play "Super Face" and win the place over by stacking the roster with your little curtain jerking yes men like Andu. Face it Jericho, wether you like it, or you don't like it, it doesn't make a difference, beacause you gotta learn to live with it pal, if it wasn't for Rob Osbourne, there wouldn't be a Jeff Jericho. Plain and simple. You've always had to settle for my sloppy seconds Jeff, well, this time, I'm cleaning my plate, and there is nothing left for you to survive on, so get ready, because I am going to starve you to death!!" I recoiled and swiveled my head back to The Edge in anger. "That's fucking great and all Rob, but I don't really think that anything you just said will do you much good." Edge quipped. "Why ass?" I grumbled. "Because moron, me and you are the only ones in here...jesus christ you relaly need to lay off the pot man. Fuck me!" Edge got up and headed for the bar. "Hey man, seriously. I know you need to be getting your molded old fossilized ass to bed and all, but I want to know, if there were no laws, what would you do to Chris Reinhardt next week?" now he was testing me, he wanted to see how deviant and methodical I was planning on getting for this match. He wanted to know one thing. "Am I Evil?" I asked him. "Let me tell you , I am indeed as Evil as Evil can get in the IoA. Chris, for months, almost a year , I have sat by and "contained" my anger and feelings of extreme hatred and my inner longing for rectification of what you and your 'daddy' tried to do to me in that park in Canada. I have said this before, and you goddamn well better listen, because this is the LAST time I will say it, YOU WILL PAY FOR TRYING TO RUN ME DOWN WITH THAT HUMMER YOU LITTLE COCKEATING BASTARD!!!!! You could have killed me you stupid asshole. This is a sport, yes, and competition is fierce, but a human life, well, by god, that is a precious commodity; one that we are not entitled to spend. You crossed the line, you took it to far. Now, its pay back time. Imagine yourself unconcious, inside a large structure made of wrought iron and chain link. Forming a dome over t, and around the ring. I will beat you within an inch of your life. I will open you up and watch your like force be drained from your misserable body. Then I will string you up on the chains, and i will take a 9 guage scalpel and I will slit the seam of your nut sac, and i will tak out each individual testicle and savagely sever every artery and nerve beyond repair, rdissecting the teste from the scrotum, then i will hold your nose with my other hand until your central nervous system forces open your mouth to breathe, at which time i will let your dissected teste slide down your uncocnious throat. You will die of asphyxiation; yes, the RiverDragon will choke to death on his own testicles. Now do you see Chris? I'm not just focusde,and this isn;t just a wrestling match. No. I am possessed, and this is your judgement day. You will not walk out of that Chamber. You will be lucky to ever walk again. Your day just came; you get to see what its like to be the one that I am after insteadof being the flunkie of the guy i am after. Happy Hunting." I scoffed as I finished up and looked at Edge. "Nice work, luck for you, I set up a camera behind the bar mirror, this whole thing wil air as a promo. And god it wad good; a little sickening with the whole 'sun dried testicles' appetizers for the soon to be former 2X World Champion." Edge walked towards the front door. "Hey man, I'll see you later, go get some sleep." and like that he was gone again, and I wasn't sure if he was going to be coming back or not. Oh say does that Trixie Lee still blow I woke up late Monday night, about 11:30 p.m. and decided since christina and Robbie were probably already in bed, I would just go home, get high, and get into bed. Boy was I in for a suprise. I was sneeking in the front door as quietly as possible and all of a sudden the lights come on and there is my future one day ex-wife and the next big thing, Rob Osbourne Junior standing in the living room holdingh a poster that depicts me as the World Champion. My boy started rambling, almost repeating himself in several instances when he was telling me how great it was when I dropped Pledge nd how great it was when his Uncle Chris knocked out the old wrinkled up guy from the Stacker 2 commercials. He was elated. Christina on the other hand, seemed a bit pissed off. I quickly put Robbie in bed and headed to the smoke room, our chamber for toking in private. "Why...no, how could you do something like that Rob?" she said with tears almost coming to her eyes. "What are you talking about Christina?" this didn't look good, it didn't look god at all. "This was THEIR day Rob. The day you keep telling me wil come for us. The day I had, sort of, with Donovan. How do I know someone like you won't do something like you did to them to us? I can't handle that Rob. I think you owe Tirxie and Pledge an apology." Now she was talking out of her ass...where the hell did all of this compassion for Captain America come from? "I'm sorry Christina...if he hadn't chosen a live wrestling event to take the most important step in any man's life, then he was stupid, and I can't stand stupid people. You saw what I did to SickBoy, and he's pretty godamned stupid, right?" I was trying to win her over with my charm... "Look dollface, you need to go over to that video library over there on the shelf labeled "EWA" and start from the begining...otherwise you are never going to be able to understand this...none of it, and I don't expect you to, and I don't expect the people at home to understand either. Shit, I can hardly remember every reason we're fighting over. But look, it's there if you want it, and for the people at home, if Edge has planted another spycam on me, you can all go here to read up on the hitsory...."EWA Video Library" so baby, can you trust me on the whole Pledge and Trixie deal?" I asked "I don't know Rob, you know how I am, let me watch some of the tapes, you know you can go to the most important ones..." she was weirding me out so I decided to la it onher harsh. "It started off with the tape where two days after my father had passed away, Pledge, Russo, and the rest of their goons decided it would be fun to go piss on my dad's freshly dug gravesite. You could say I was just a little bit pissed off, ya know? Seems this guy Pledge had beef with Jimmy Blast from the SAW; not the luke warm imitation Pledge tried to spoon feed the world last year, but the real deal, ran by the slant eyes. AnywayAnyway, he knows I'm tight with Jimmy, and he sees this tragedy hit my family and decides he's going to comein and make a name for himself by disrespecting the dead. That is where it all started." She looked to be in awe as I opened up to her, but she didn't look overwhelmed, this was, after all , a woman that had been married to a man who had taken another man's life, she knew what life with a wrestler was like, so I kept going... "From there we battled back and forth, nothing on the line thenbut our pride. Then , during one of the many contract disputes I had with Edge that always resulted in me not getting booked, Pledge wins the Universal Championship. I inked my deal and the night he won it, I beat the shit out of him right after, then won the belt back a few shows later. That pissed him off, but for me, it was justice. But he couldn't leave it alone, he had to try and take the title from me. But he didn't he never beat me in a singles match...did you know that Christina? God damn, I never realized it; he came close, alot of the time to tell you the truth, but he never beat me. Do you know why? He has no idea how much rage still, to this day, burns inside me when i see him after what he did to my father." I was really starting to get emotional, and that wasn't like me, so I knew I was jacked. I couldn't feel a thing. I could have been shot right then on the spot and I wouldn't have known it, adrenaline brother; pure adrenaline! "After that, we fought back and frth for years. Hell, when Blair was running the CWF witht hat assmaster Jericho, I kidnapped Don Russo and held him hostage in an empty warehouse force feeding him Mc Chicken sandwiches. It was grand. But after Jimmy, Tige, and the Edge all faded out, he hadme where he wanted me. You see, as good as I am, I can't beat up four guys at once, and there was Pledge, Hellstone, Styles, and Chandeller. So I did the only smart thing one could do in that situation...I joined them. That was what took the cake I think. I found out everything that makes them tick. Their ins, their outs. I saw Pledge at his most vulnerable. His weakness is that little bitch Trixie. He told me once when we were on the road in india at this little hotel where the rooms were like huts, he said 'Rob, I don't know what I'd ever do if she got hurt because of me! I don't think I could live with myself!' which I thought was ironic, because the night before he had said 'that bitch doesn' run my life, I don't care what she says, I'm going through with reopening the SAW!' Whoops, his bad!!!" by now I was laughing at reliving all those memories. "Damn Rob, I had no idea it was that intense. I mean, I knew what Donovan had told me, and most of that was IoA and SAW stuff. I had no idea this thing was like ten years old and running stronger than ever. The way I always heard it, you guys called a truce. Guess Pledgie Wedgie was the only one that was adhering to it huh?" she used my nicknme for Pledge, now that was funny! Another Osbourne!?!?!?! We sat there for about three more hours as i continued to recount the tales of Pledge -V- The Osbournes. I told her about ZOO when he beat Matt Sr. I told her about when Chris handed him his ass. I told her about the other thirty secen times i pinned him and the seventeen times I made hm tap out, and the eleventimes i got dq'd to retain a title. Just when we were about to call it a night she decides she will drop a bombshell on me that would change my life forever. Oh well, it wasn't like I had only slept five hours in two days, wrestled two of the so-called greatest ever in basically what should have been billed a handicapped match, and sat up all night talking, now she wants to catapault my already tumultuous life into a deeper frenzy. God I love women. "Rob....sit down." she muttered, not making eye contact. Oh shit, i hadn't been in this position but twice in my life. The first time was with Rob Jr's mom when she told me she was pregnant, and with Rob Jr's mom when she told me she was leaving me. "I have something I need to tell you, but firt, i need to know something." She was almost crying and her hands were shaking violently. "Do you love me?" "That's like asking 'The Hearthrob' if he's gay! That's like asking Hellstone if he's an alcoholic! That's like asking Chris Reinhardt if he is going to lose his title to me this week! Of course!!!!" I boasted. "Well, I'm pregnant." she said. To Be Continued... |
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