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| The Bridge I hadn't been gone long from the library at Vandy when I was standing on the old Jefferson street bridge in downtown Nashville. I was on my way to the club, and for some reason I chose to go this way, with more of an uphill climb and less police patrol, and more crime and violence. Maybe I was hoping for something to leap out of the shadows at me and take me out before I had to face the demons that keep haunting me. No such luck though, the creatures in the shadows know who rules the dream world, where their true powers exist. I chugged along, pondering the existance of man in my head while singing the lyrics to "The End" by the Doors as I walked in the cold January wind of "Nastyville." As I reached the bridge, that linked the good and bad sides of "Nastyville" together, I realized I was coming to a bridge , metaphysically speaking, in my career. It's like that sometimes, this business, all give and no take. Then there are the times when all you do is take , because it feels so good to be on top. Then somethng always "happens." No matter who you are, it happens. Something becomes MORE important than "the business." That's when you know you went to the wrong side of your respective bridge. I stood there facing a very risky challenge with this bridge. I looked to the left, I saw a group of three crack heads beating down a black minister in the parking lot of a strip club. What's worse is the crack heads were screaming out "where's my mother fucking money bitch? You better have my crack or my money in ten seconds, or I'ma fuck you in the ass, then I'ma cut out your heart, and I'ma smoke that shit to cop my buzz, FATHER!" I looked right, and I saw before me the shining light of The Nitemare Club on second avenue, with the majesty of the Collisseum behind it, cast as a reflextion on the muddy waters of the Cumberland River. While just a few hundred feet away , and mine, that club, at that moment, represented my goals. It seemed unattainable, it seemed impossible that THAT could, would, and should be mine. It was sureal. But I realized "yes mother fucker, go, take it, it's your turn to do the taking!" So what else, it seemed to prey in my mind, could these two directions at the bridge represent other than the right move, and the wrong move. The path of the foolish and ignorant, like CVP, Ripper, Brian Adams, Assassin, and the most ignorant fool of them all, Pledge Alligence. Being too cocky, and too confident, thinking they were irreplacable and a hot commodity? Or the path of the few. Or the path of the ones that "make it." That don't just "keep the throne warm" until another King comes to power, but a King indeed, like Double J, and god I hate to admit it, but Z-Pac, and Maniac? Ah, I still wasn't sure. Then it hit me. The left, the bad shit, represented me giving two lumpy sittings of bulldog shit to the tag match between myself and my "partner" Ass-assin against Z-Pac and the RiverDragon. The right side, it represented me doing what I have always done best at "raining on Pledgie Wedgie's parade." Yes, I'll warn you, you red, white, and blueballed faggot, I'm coming, I'm crashing the party. What in God's name can you possibly do to stop us? That's right. I said Us. Super Sunday: Osbourne style! As luck would have it, Blair reschedules the SuperBowl weekend edition of Heatwave to the week after. So, at the last second, since we were all in town, Matt Sr, Matt Jr., Chris, and Tim Osbourne all came over to the Club. We also invited a few other close friends who were in town for the big AWF show the night before. So there you had us, 5 of the Osbournes, "Too Xtreme" Eric Badger, and a blast from my past. We all placed our bets on the game and gave our reasoning why. I of course, picked Tampa to win by 27, a bet nobody thought was wise, so I gave them all Oakland plus 25, they thought they had me. But who got who? Of course, the only reason any of them took Oakland was because I took the Bucs. So we're sitting there watching this blow out and Tim pops off at the mouth with "why don't you guys all just come to the AWF? You wrestle near your home, you get 100% creative control over your character, and you will never have a bullshit draw." I looked at him and said "shut yer mouth" and then I looked at Chris who was just staring a hole right through me. I could feel the piercing of his eyes as he leered at me. "What bitch?" I said to him. "Oh nothing, except you know you are bing set up this week, right?" he muttered half cocked. "Well what do you suppose I do about it then Chris? I want the title shot next week, Blair agreed to it if I would sign for this match. My hands are tied." I told him. Chris snickered and said, "How about you let the bell get rung, and then you do what you taught all of us to do?" "What might that be?" I implored. "Everything fits into two categories..." Chris started to say, then Eric interrupted him and said "...either 'fuck it' or 'it doesn't matter." Matt Junior and Senior both stood up, putting on their hats. "Hey cousin, sorry, but as far as all these half wits in TV land are supposed to know, i hate yer fuckin guts, so as my boy and I put on our losing Dallas Cowboy caps and fasten up our incredigay Asslanta Braves jackets, let me say this. What your brother and Eric and Tim a re saying is that those three stooges, Z-Pac, Reinhratd, and Ass-assin are setting you up to get gang banged. Chris says once the bell rings, you walk out on Ass-assin. If your hunch was right, you just made them look like idiots. If your hunch was wrong, then fuck it, they beat the hell out of Ass-assin, what's it to you?" said Matt Sr. in a puzzling sort of manner. "Ok" I said as I stood up "I'm not having anymore of this bullshit ruin my game here, now where do you think you mother fuckers are going? you both are gonna owe me 2K after this game ends." I pointed out to the Osbournes Matt. "Here asshole, I don't know how you actually fixed the SuperBowl, but I hate you!" that was all Matt Sr. had to say as he tossed me 5k and said keep the rest as a payoff not to tell the rest of the world I schooled him and his kid. Whoops. Ah, the SuperBowl!!! Your final? TB 48 OAK 21. Only 3 days remain Well it was here quicker than I had expected. Mid-week. I was actually able to stay at home all week with Christina and Rob Jr. He really likes her alot, and I'm glad to, cause he may be calling her mommy soon! I got up at 11:30 just like i do everyday, and I scraped the "eye boogers" out of the corners of my blinders and peeled them open as sunlight attempted to project itself through my bedroom window blinds. I walked down the hall to the bathroom to take a piss and I heard Robbie and Christina playing IoA: Triple Header for the X-Box. I didn't know that game was out yet? As I walked into the room what did I see? Rob Osbourne taking on Pledge Alligence w/Trixie Lee in his corner. 'Holy Shit' i thought to myself. As I stared intently focused on mine and Pledge's likenesses on the screen. Robbie beat my mouth to the punch of what my brain had sent out two minutes prior..."Dad, bet your wondering how you were on this new game huh?" If you only knew kiddo..."yeah champ, how did you get me and Pledge on there? Did you use the create a character mode?" I asked him coyly. "No dad, I beat it all the way through with Chris Reinhardt on the International title path and it unlocked Z-Pac, then I played through with Z-Pac on the Anarchy/TLC title path and I got Triple J. Then I played through with Triple J on the World title, and it said "congratulations, you have unlockede the greatest wrestler of all time" he said in his excited five year old voice. "And of course, that was your old man, right?" I boasted. "Uhm, no dad, it was Blood. But after I got Blood, I beat the storyline with MVP coming back from the dead then I got to Triple J getting shot. I didn't win the main event at Triple Header, cause Uncle Chris said if you beat the main event as the champ, then it'll reset, but if you job out the title, you can keep playing for as many 'years' as you want. So I started up again, and it said "you have unlocked the Trigger man" and then I clicked ok. It went back to the select screen, but the only new guy there was you dad." my boy mumbled. "Well Junior, I don't know why it happened like that. Must be a bug in the game. So how did you get Uncle Phil on there then?" I asked as I tried to push deeper. "Well, I...yes, girls can play video games too. I won the tag titles with Degradation....." Chrstina started to say until i cut her off..."...I bet you did," She flipped me off then continued, "Fuck you ...ass... anyway, i won the tag belts and when I did, it unlocked Flash N Trash, well if you beat Flash N Trash, like I did with Degradation, Pledge runs in to try and help them. It was so gay, because I just drilled his bald head with Donovan and he keeled over." I had to cut in...well, Paul Blair is going to have alot of explaining to do. I think I'm going to call him up...... To Be Continued |
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