| **The scene opens to find Rob Osbourne lying on a hammock in the backyard of his mother's estate in Nashville, Tennessee. His mother, under heavy supervision due to her rapidly progressing Alzheimer's syndrome, is resting under sedation. Rob is taking a few tokes from a spliff and a vibration from his cell phone prompts him he has a text messag,e When he checks the text he nearly flips out of the hammock in disbelief and he picks up a bottle of Heineken, pops the top and downs the entire thing, then did a swipe of his mouth and looks back at the text. He sprints up to the house and through the front door, as he hops behind the wheel of his 2010 Ford Shelby GT500 he sees a very familiar old 1962 chevelle pulling down the path. He shuts off the engine to his Cobra and hops out as the famour 'Space Mountain II' comes to a rest and the sterling grey haired Jammin Jimmy Blast steps out and grabs Rob in a brotherly embrace.**
NRO: Well kiss my ass! Jimmy? Jimmy? I haven't heard from you in years outside of my dreams man. How the hell are you man? JJB: Robbie..listen, it ain't all pleasure why I'm here Captain. I know you heard about Pledge's accident with Hellstone, right? NRO: Yeah, turns out the sumbitch ain't an Osbourne after all. I won't fell quite so bad beating him fucking senseless one more time partner. JJB: Rob. That's not it, see. That's why I'm here brother. You heard the full scoop right? NRO: No, just got a text from Christina telling me Pledge wasnt my brother and she'd call when she could. JJB: Well....she's right. Pledge is not your brother. NRO: Right. So, why does that bring you here? JJB: Rob. Sit down. NRO: Jimmy...Jimmy, you're starting to fuck with me now, come on man, what is it? JJB: I was just coming into my own....back when your dad was a champ with your... NRO: My Uncle Otto, Matt's dad....I know this man. JJB: No, no kid, this is before your Uncle Otto went out of the federal pen for running shine. NRO: Yeah, I do have a fucked up family, don't I? JJB: Anyway kid, back in the day, before your Uncle got out of prison, back when he was fathering Matt on those congegal visits, your dad was tagging with...me. NRO: Yeah...and? JJB: Well, Rob, the weekend after we tagged the first time, it was a hit. We were a night and day unit, just like you and Pledge. Kind of ironic. Well, things were good. Too good you know what I mean? Like, you can do anything. NRO: Yeah, that's when he fathered that sonofabitch...well, so we thought. JJB: No Robert, that's what I am here to tell you. Joe Osbourne IS Pledge Alligence's father. NRO: That's impossible Jimmy, we have totally different blood types, we CAN'T be brothers. JJB: You aren't. NRO: But you said Joe was his dad...oh.....OH....OH?!? What the fuck are you saying Jimmy? Are you telling me I'M the one that isn't an Osbourne? JJB: That's exactly what I'm telling you son. NRO: Wait...what did you just call me? JJB: You see Rob, your ma, she knew about your dad and Pledge's mother, but she still loved that man. She had needs though...just like he did. I ...I filled her void. I am your father Rob. NRO: It's a lie. It's can't be. Not you. NOOOOOO!!!!!! JJB: Search your fellings....you know it to be true. NRO: Oh my god. Everything...everything I've ever known is a lie? JJB: No Robbie. I was right there watching you all along. I always have been son, and I always will be. YOur mother couldn't bear to tell Joe he wasn't your father anymore than he could bear to tell her about Pledge. I had to bear both burdens all these years. But I was nothing back then kid, your mom and Joe could give you the world. And they did. NRO: I ...I ....I need to think.... **Rob gets in the GT500, and is about to pull away when Blast opens the other side and gets in, buckling up and locking the door.** JJB: We need to talk about this brother. NRO: Jimmy...I ...I...listen man. I just had the heart ripped out of everything I know. JJB: Aside from the name, what changes? Are you still a second generation superstar? Is Bobby still a third? Hell yes. And while my damned name might not be Osbourne, I do have quite a legacy behind me as well. You are still a kiss stealing, wheeling and dealing scumbag and I love you for it. You have made me smile from the shadows. Especially now more than ever. I want to see you go out there and show Pledge, show Xamin, show the world that Nitemare Robbie Rob is a Blster and all hell is about to break loose. Now let's see this car and how she runs, can it hang with the Space Mountain II? NRO: Wait til you fell this bitch lift up when you hit third.... **As Osbourne pulls the car out, it dawns on him how much he always had in common witht he man he called his mentor. The realization that he was his father is an overwhlming one. They speed off. Hours later they pull back in to the estate and Blast gets in his car and takes off. The Nitemare heads inside and cuts his first promo for Global Warning.** NRO: So....the plot thickens. The irony of it all is this. I knew it would happen. I knew when I entered this 'truce' with my not-brother, that it wouldn't last. It couldn't last One of us was bound to stick the knife in the other's back. i knew this time...it wasn't going to be me. The you being an Osbourne and me not part though, that got tme thinking. What if this is still destiny friend? Pledge Wedgie Osbourne and Nitemare Robbie Blast? Funny part is, Chris is really your brother and not mine now. And Eric. Oh that also means I am NOT really related to Matt. No, that;s not true, those sick bunch of inbred fuckholes are my family...the Osbournes raised me. I have the best of both world's a pedigree's wrestling bloodline through Jimmy Blast, and a wrestling heritage ant tutelage of the Osbourne clan. What do you have? The overly protective affection of some woman that looks like a double for Estelle Getty as Sophia that couldnt keep her whore legs together when old drunken Joe came to town? So Pledge, this revelation reveals that you are still Joe Osbourne's bastard son, and that you will still come up just...a...little...bit...short. Old Joe must be very let down by his bastard son he knew about, but oh so proud of the one he didn't? I'm not sayin...I'm just sayin... But what you did, and how you did it...reprehensible. Disgusting. Pledge...you make me sick. This Saturday, I'm going to beat the dog shit right out of you one more time. Then, I'm done with you. I wash my hands of your filth. You taint me no more. Capesche? **Osbourne laughs as he flips off the uplink. Fade to black.** |
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