 |
| **The scene opens to find Rob Osbourne seated at the head of a table in a
rather opulent conference room. Seated around the table are several other
men in suits. At the opposite end of the table is the half brother of The
Nitemare and fellow CWF superstar, Pledge Alligence. We join in as the
meeting meets its close�**
NRO: So there you have it boys. Pledge: Are you POSITIVE this is what you want to do? We are already fielding calls from the attorney�s of Dr. James Picard and The Raving Lunatic. They are threatening to sue over breach of contract and wrongful termination. NRO: Fuck that asshole. The only issue that clown has is his inability to take a loss on the chin like a man. Hell, Mark Xamin cracked me with the National title and it cost me not just a win�not just the CWF National Championship�it cost me a measure of my pride. MANIAC?!? The only two times the guy EVER beat me in the past was when I had a 103 degree fever and when my EWA contract was up and The Edge told me I was doing the J-O-B for the good of the company. I didn�t complain then, and I didn�t complain this past week. Pledge: And the wrongful termination? NRO: I didn�t terminate him Pledge. Let�s make sure our documents are in line. Everything should be drawn up to read that upon our acquisition of the promotion we chose not to renew his contract. It�s simple contract law. Cut and Dry. He hasn�t a leg to stand on. Pledge: You do realize that means we have to re-sign EVERYONE based on your statement, right? NRO: Not a problem. Just print their existing contracts, re date them and have each guy sign at the Gorilla position at Scars N Stripes. Next issue? Suit #1: Well Mr. Osbourne, the feeling in the media is that with you taking over the company, it would be wrong on moral and ethical reasons for you to book yourself in a world championship match in your first full week as owner� NRO: WHOA! Back up a minute slick. I didn�t book a God damned thing. Mark Xamin booked that match as his last act as CWF Owner. Suit #2: So does that mean you WILL compete against Magnus Thunder this Saturday? NRO: You bet your ever-loving ass I�ll be �competing� with Magnus Thunder this Saturday. Is there anything else or can we adjourn this meeting? **The suits all get up and leave the room. Pledge gets up and walks to the far end where Rob is leaning back in the chair. He sits down on the edge of the table and just looks at Osbourne. ** NRO: What man? Pledge: ����.. NRO: Seriously man, come on. Take a fucking picture, it�ll last longer. Pledge: ����. NRO: Dude�.WHAT?!?! Pledge: Do you honestly think that�s the best course of action Rob? I mean, with the hell that Lunatic raised after Bob got the �W� on him, do you really think it would hold water for you to walk out of S&S with the World title man? NRO: If I beat him, then I beat him. There�s always gonna be naysayers Pledge. You know that. I wanted this match more than I wanted the National title. Don�t you think that if I didn�t think I could get the job done, I wouldn�t have told Xamin to take a long walk off a short pier? Pledge: I don�t think I ever questioned your ability to get the job done Rob�.I guess what I mean is, it just doesn�t look right, regardless of WHO signed the match. The fact is, you�re the owner of the damned company Rob. I don�t know man. I�m not saying�I�m just saying�. NRO: Don�t you start with this shit too man. First Bobby, now you. What the fuck?!? You know what�s going to end up happening don�t ya? Pledge: Well�.either you are going to manifest some sort of conscience, or we�re gonna end up back in the ring across from each other. You�ve got some serious soul searching to do my brother. I hope you manage to get it done before you lose EVERYTHING you hold dear. NRO: That a threat? Pledge: Sit down and take a chill pill moron. I don�t make threats, you of all people should know that. I�m talking about your money and your family. I am not na�ve enough to think the game means as much to you as you say it does. I know you are in it for the fame and the money. That�s what it�s ALWAYS been about for you Rob. I for one am sick and tired of the mood swings and the angered outbursts. You need to put your ego in check or it will be your down fall. **Pledge stands and leaves the office, leaving Osbourne to ponder his own thoughts. He pulls out his phone and makes a call...** NRO: Hey it's Rob Osbourne....how ya been? Oh yeah? I can dig that. Listen man, you know I bought the CWF right? Well, I'm trying to build on this farce of a roster...you in? Fuck no! You do remember it was ME that ran him out of town on a rail right? Yeah...well...who cares how it happened. It happened none the less. Yeah? Well...I think we can work something out. Well, yeah...of course we need a new enforcer. Like I'd keep Kodiak Winters around to be able to report back to Xamin every little detail about what we are doing. Not a chance. I tell you what, I'm going to leave a pair of tickets for you two at the box office for Showdown next week. They'll be at the will call window under your wife's name. All righty man, I'll catch you on the flip side. **Osbourne ends the call and exits the conference room. He heads through the halls of Osbourne, Inc's corporate headquarters in Nashville up to the roof to where the company helicopter is waiting to ferry him to the airport where he boards his private jet bound for Washington D.C. Once the plane is airborne he heads to his office/suite in the back and flips on his uplink to PWN.com and cuts a promo for Scars N Stripes.** NRO: 3 days. That can have several different meaning for several different people throughout several different cultures. For instance, among stoner's the reference to 3 days is used when talking about Woodstock, which lasted 3 days. Among computer geeks, 3 days is how long you have from the creation of your Facebook account until you must choose your vanity URL. Among the analytyical scientists world, 3 days of breathing in pollution before it permanently altars your DNA. For women, they are told to examine their breasts for lumps or masses every 3 days. Finally, among Christians, 3 days is the common reference to the period between Good Friday when Jesus of Nazareth was crucified and when His tomb was found empty on Easter Sunday. When I think of 3 days, the meaning is totally different. 3 days is how long Magnus Thunder has left in his very short reign as CWF World Heavyweight Champion. I would like to personally address Mr. Thunder's recent remarks about my lifestyle and my reputation that precedes me by a country mile. I didn't choose to be this way Magnus. It's in my blood. I hate the way I am as much as my son hates it. But I, as he will in due time, have accepted my plight in the world. I have accepted who and what I am. Maybe you think that myself, like Keith Daniels and Brian Adams, need some sort of redemtion...salvation if you will. Not the case my friend. I'm on good terms with My Lord and Saviour. He knows every vile and despicable thing I do. I tell Him nightly in my prayers. No, Magnus, I do not require YOUR salvation...I have that of The Lord. What? You think because I continue in my ways I am a backslider? You think because I cuss like a sailor that I have lost my salvation? Not so my friend. In fact, I would go so far as to say that the overall meaning of salvation and the whole of spirituality is lost on you my large bodied yet small minded friend. Whatever do I mean? Well, I thought you'd never ask. And I quote...from the New Testament...from the Gospel of St. John...Chapter 8...Verse 7... "So when they continued asking him, he lifted up himself, and said unto them, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her." Furthermore Lord Magnus....I would say you are one of the most hypcritical men I have ever met. You claim to be saved by grace and washed in the blood of Christ. Yet, you are obviously paired to your mighty Stormhammer and the hallowed grounds of Val Halla. Odin or Christ Magnus. Who will it be? And again...I quote...this time from the Old Testament....from the book of Exodus....Chapter 20...Verse 3... "Thou shalt have no other gods before me." Shall I go on Magnus? Shall I continue to point out all of your flaws and transgressions as you feel the need to do with me? You said before that as the leader of my family I have taken them all down a dark path...seriously? Is that ALL you've got big boy? I'm not the eldest of the Osbournes...I don't stake any claim to the mantle of Patriarch of my family...that was my father's role. I didn't lead anyone ANYWHERE. Several of my family members chose to follow me down my dark path of their own vollision. My schemes don't blind me Magnus. They blind the people I am scheming against. This week that happens to be YOU. I have no problems discerning fact from fiction. Fact. You won the world title from Brian Adams after Mark xamin screwed my brother, Pledge Alligence, out of more than one victory. Fact. Shock Value is no more - and while you may have delt the final blow, it was MY FAMILY who destroyed them. You just got to issue the final blow. Fact. Until last week when i got clocked by my own title by Mark Xamin NO ONE in the CWF had a victory ove rme. No one. Not Paul Blair, not Sickboy, not The Juggernaut, not Blood, not Keith daniles, not Brian Adams....no one. Fact. You are at the top of the mountain for the first time in your career, which spans nearly as long as my own. Fact. I have more world titles on my resume that you have victories. Am I a rich man? Yes, in principal. I have more money than one could probably count in a month's time by themselves. I have a very beautiful and very successful wife. My son has claimed his birthright and won a CWF championship after only a few months in the company. A feat that you nor I either one can claim. I now control the most powerful wrestling promotion on the planet. And in 3 days I'm going to achieve my lone remaining career goal. Winning the CWF World Heavyweight championship. And I'm going to win it from you. I think Magnus, that you may find you are sadly SADLY mistaken about me. You don't know about the million dollar cashiers checks I send to charitable organizations weekly and anonymously. You don't know about the non-profit groups I have set-up all over the world to help aid hunger on our planet. You don't know about the outreach I helped start 6 years ago in Jakarta, Indonesia when I was there on business with the IoA. I think Magnus Thunder, that you are mistaken about a great many thing. I bank my money, but I don' store it up to turn to rust and to be consumed moths. I just replace the money I spend and give away with even more money. Is it a sin to be a business genius? Is it a sin to make money hand over fist, as long as I tithe back 10%? I don't think so. Is it a sin to accuse me of being something I am not? Yessir, it is. I don't build houses of cards Magnus. Nor do i shore up the foundations of my mansion on sand, for I know the sand will blow away and my building will surely crumble without a solid foundation. I'm from Nashville, Tennessee...the capital of the Bible belt bro. I cut my teeth at Creekmont General Baptist Church. Yes indeed, when The Crippler was out on the road fathering his illegitimate children and breaking men's backs and spirits, I was praying hard, hoping I wouldn't become my father. But it's in my blood. I cannot rid myself of that. I can try and make changes. I can try and be less and less like Joe Osbourne away from the ring and be more like him in the ring. And Bob can strive to be less like Rob Osbourne away from the ring and more like me in the ring. Within a few generations there may be an Osbourne that's considered a baby face. But not today. Why, you will ask, if I am aware of these things, do i continue to sin? Well that's a pretty easy one to answer ya big lug. I don't want Jesus's sacrifice for me to have been in vain. You see, that's the bit the Church doesn't want you to know. They will say that you have to be lilly white to get into heaven. They will tell you that if you don't live your life the way they dictate, you will go straight to hell. Not so. Consider David, the most beloved of all of God's servants. He sinned daily. Yet he also repented daily. He lied to the priests and ate the consecrated bread. He lusted over Bathsheba to the point that he sent her husband to certain death on the front lines so he could take her for his own fleshly desires. He killed, pillaged, and plundered the armies of Saul. Yet, he is revered as the most beloved among God's servants. How can this be? Because he repented daily. That's the bit the church doesn't want people to believe. That is their undoing. And ultimately Magnus, it will be yours as well. Should you continue to repent and be righteous, then I can annoy you for eternity in Paradise. Cause I'll definitely be there. Will you? **Osbourne switches of fthe uplink to PWN and stretches out on the sofa in his office as the pilot notifies him they are currently over the Indiana/Ohio border and will be arriving in Washington D.C. in a few hours. He decides to catch a few Z's in flight. As he closes his eyes and begins to nod off, we are once again inside his mind. The sofa he was strecthed out on quickly becomes engulfed in a cacophany of colors. A myriad prism of rainbow like qualities seems to be transporting him through time and space. Suddenly the couch comes crashing down. The swirl of colors ceases and he looks around. Surrounding him are mile after mile of flowered fields that are set at the base of a great snow capped mountain. Amid the crested peak sits a white and shimmering structure. The couch once again begins moving, straight up into the air, then spins, fast enough to cause Osbourne to vomit over the side, then without notice or pause, it skyrockets off in the direction of the white towers of the mountain tops. Osbourn shields his eys and face to the fierce and deathly cold winds. Suddenly the couch free falls and crashe to the ground at the top of the peak and shatters into a thousand splinterred pieces. The Nitemare stands and brushes the debris from his suit and starst walking towards the gates of the city. As he approaches a bearded warrior in full battle regalia comes forwad...** Man: Behold, who dares approach the gates of Asgard without the permission of Odin? NRO: Rob Osbourne. Now open the fucking gate before I open your face with my fist, capesche'? Man: Such debauchery can never stand in the presence of Odin. You shall not pass. NRO: Cute. Now open the fucking gate dickhead. Man: Nay, for I will not allow the likes of you, Rob Osbourne, to soil the hallowed ground of Asgard. Be gone!!! **The man raised his war hammer and thrust it to the ground with all of his might, sending a tremble comparable to an earthquake across the ground, splitting it open between Osbourne's legs. The Nitemare, not impressed nor deterred by this action, simply steps over the ever growing fissure in the ground. The Viking Warrior, bewildered at Osbourne's actions, charges full on, dropping his shoulder towards the unarmored and unarmed Osbourne. The Nitemare side steps him and into the very opening he had just created did he fall. Osbourne chuckles and picks up the man's War Hammer. He swing s it wildly, cracking the lock of the gates to Asgard, and sending them open. He tosses the weapon aside and struts into the Kingdom of Odin. As he approaches the main castle he can feel the eys of the citizens of Asgard upon him. He shrugs it off and waltzes into the castle proper. As he does so, a battalion of Viking Honour Guards appear and block the path leading to the throne room of Odin.** NRO: Okay, okay, I get it. You don't want me to see the boss. Tough shit. You'll either take me to see Odin right now, or I'll break everyone of your God damned legs. Whose up first then? **Just then the line of warriors flank left and right as Thor himself emerges from the throne room.** Thor: Who dares disturb my father's slumber?!?! NRO: Me. Thor: HA! A mere mortal has broken the front lines of Asgard and made his way so far as the throne room? What say ye Commander? **The lead Viking warrior immediately drops to a knee and bows his head to the God of Thunder** Commander: Aye, my lord. Twas he who smote Baldr at the gates. It is of mine opinion Lord Thor that he is THE Einherjar. Thor: THE Einherjar? Nay. For this is not possible. He doth not have the ring. Commander: Beg pardon sire, but indeed he does wield Draupnir. How he came to posess the Ring of Power is unknown to me Lord Thor, but nonetheless, he has it. Thor: So it seems. But how did this mere mortal come to wield such power? Did not the dwarven weaponsmiths Brokk and Eiti forge this to rival anything created by the sons of Ivaldi? Commander: Aye my lord, but does not Ring Draupnir duplicate itself every ninth night? Thor: Ah....so this is how the mortal came to posess it. NRO: Uhm...hello....excuse me. How bout ya ask me there Goldilocks? I happened to have been given this ring by my nephew, Drastic. Thor: SILENCE!!!!!!!!!! Commander: Lord Thor, did ye heareth the name he uttered? Drastic...the mortal that was posessed by your brother Loki not long ago.... Thor: Of course...I should have suspected Loki's meddling. Relinquish the ring to me mortal!! NRO: Piss off fuckhole. How bout you take me to dear old daddy before I grab Mjolner from your clutches and you turn back into Eric Masterson and I kick your gimped up mortal ass! Thor: Alas, ye must indeed be THE Einherjar. I shall take you to see my father. **Osbourne follows Thor into the main throne room. Loki is perched on a swing near the throne nibbling at a small portion of fruit, the nectar running down his chin. Odin is sleeping in his throne. Thos motions to Osbourne to kneel as he touches Mjolner to the throne, Odin's eyes become alive with an intense white fire.** Odin: Who dares disturb me? Oh...Thor...what do you want now son? Is Loki picking on you again? Loki....LOKI...how many times do i have to tell you, leave your brother alone. It's not his fault he's all braun and no brains. Wait...who is this mortal you bring before me Thor? Thor: This is THE Einherjar. Odin: Ah....."The Nitemare" Rob Osbourne? NRO: (bows) At your service your royal royalness. Odin: What can I do for the Son of The Crippler? NRO: Wait a minute. You know my DAD? Odin: Aye, tis Joseph who was THE Einherjar before you. As it will be Bob's turn when your mortality has ended. Fear not. Whenever a human warrior dies, a Valkyrie decides its fate after death. If he was brave enough, the Valkyrie will send him to Valhalla, where he would become one of many Einherjar. Through an agreement with Freya, half of the warriors sent to Valhalla will go to her palace Folkvangar instead. Women will automatically go to Freya�s palace. The chosen ones for Valhalla will wake up every morning by the crowing of the cock Gullinkambi. During the day they will fight each other and gain experience in battle. In the evenings, they will feast together at my table, and their wounds will be healed miraculously. When Ragnarok begins, the God Heimdall will blow his horn Gjallahorn, which is the sign for all of the Einherjar to gather around me to begin their attack on the giants. Your father was to be their leader should Ragnarok have happened in his time. Now that honor falls to you. If Ragnarok does not occur before you come here in your immortal form, it will pass to Bob, your seed. NRO: Well I'm honored...I think. Wait a second...does that mean Magnus Thunder was right when he said I was the leader of my family? Have I really led them all astray?!? Odin: MAGNUS THUNDER???? Thor...I thought you banished him from Asgard? Thor: I did, I did. He and I did battle. Mjolner prevailed over Stormbringer that day and I sent him to dwell among the mortals where he still resides. NRO: Yeah...about that. You see, he has been made to be a champion among my ....warriors...and I mean to challenge him for his cchampionship. I guess that's why I'm here. But I'm confused. I have always been led to believe that Magnus was Thor incarnate and Stormbringer was some variant of Mjolner. What's up with that? Odin: Nay, Magnus is no more Thor than Beta Ray Bill was. He is merely empowered with the same type of powers. Powers I can grant or revoke on a whim. NRO: okay then, have yourself a whim and grant me some power pimp. I need to handle my business. Odin: Nay. you are not worthy of those kind of powers. Your place is the champion of your own kind. Tis not your destiny Rob Osbounre. Your place is as THE Einherjar. Go now, and claim your place as the leader of my mortal warriors. I grant you the ability strip Magnus of this rank and title. Tis this trugh I hold Rob Osbourne, that cattle die...kinsmen die...all men are mortal. Words of praise will never perish, nor a noble name. Be gone. Back to the ladn of mortals. Victory shall be yours!!!! **Odin struck his spear to thr gound and a flock of ravens emerged and in tandem picked up The Nitemare and in a flash they spirited him away. Osbourne blinks his eyes and is back on the couch aboard his plane. He sits up and rubs his temples, a throbbing migraine building in his head. He glances at his left hand and notices his wedding ring. He clanges at his right hand and notices and oddly ornate ring he did not have on his hand when he fell asleep. He looks at the ring then realizes his dream may have been something much, MUCH greater. FTB** |
 |