| **The scene opens to find Rob Osbourne seated at his desk aboard his private jet bound for Tacoma, Washington. He is scrolling through the box scores for the playoff game last night between HIS Orlando Magic and the Los Angeles Lakers. In another tab he is also checking out the latest CWF promos airing on PWN.com. He fires off an e-mail to his shareholders in Osbourne Inc concerning the hostile takeover last month of the MGM Grand facilities in Las Vegas. As he finishes the report and sends it off, the pilot announces they are about to touch down at the Seattle-Tacoma International Airport. As the planes front wheels touch down, Osbourne is already rolling his 2010 Ford Mustang Shelby GT 500 down the gangway. Osbourne hits the button on the wheel for the Sync system from Microsoft and tells the car to play through his playlist on the iPod plugged into the USB port in the center console. As he floors it and drops the beast of a car into second gear the Shaker 1000 system pumps Boom Boom Pow by the Black Eyed Peas through the 12 speaker Sony-surround system. The car fishtails as Osbourne takes the corner out of the airport parking lot. He throttles it full on, arriving in short order at the Lighthouse Bungalow; he grimaces at its appearance. He tosses the car keys to a valet and swings his duffel bag over his shoulder and saunters through the front doors.**
Desk Clerk: Good evening sir, welcome to the Lighthouse Bungalow, Olympia Washington's finest! How may I be of service to you? NRO: Seriously? This shit dive is the best this town has to offer? Somehow that doesn't suprise me. Hard to believe there isn't a five star hotel here....or even a four star for that matter. I guess if you guys are the best I have to choose from, then you'll just have to do. Rob Osbourne. I should have a reservation for your best suite. Desk Clerk: Ah yessir, I see you have booked a stay in our Presidential Suite overlooking the Budd Inlet. Will you be requiring a wake-up call sir? NRO: (sarcastically) Will you be requiring a slap across your fuckin' mouth? Desk Clerk: Sir? NRO: Are you sassing me sonny Jim? Desk Clerk: Mr. Osbourne, are you feeling ok? NRO: I am but you, you're gonna need an aspirin for that headache you have. Desk Clerk: I don't have a ..... **Osbourne grabs the man by thirt collar and drags him over the counter, then proceeds to Badd Dream him on the parquee floor. He tosses two one hundred dollar bills at the man before following the bell hop to his room. He tosses his bag in one of the arm chairs and heads into the bedroom of the suite and stretches out on top of the blankets. What felt like only minutes, but in reality turns out to be hours, Osbourne rises from the bed and heads to the washroom. He splashes some water on his face and brushes his teeth. He heads back out into the sitting room and boots up his laptop. He catches up on the past 12 hours of news and CWF goings on. He decides now is as good of a time as any to cut his final promo before this week's tag match pitting himself and his half-brother and career arch-rival Pledge Alligence against Brian Adams and Keith Daniels.** NRO: Well ladies and gentlemen, the time is nigh for the Idiots Two to put their money where their proverbial mouths are. I for one think my brother Pledge and I are going to tell them exactly what fucking time it is. Yes, I am looking forward to the total and utter devestation those nitwits are about to experience. Be there this Saturday fans, so you to can witness the breakdown of the less talented half of Shock Value, Brian Adams and Keith Daniels. But what of the "x-factors" of Jeff Jericho and The Black Mask you may ask? I have an answer for that problem, much as I do for all problems that present themslves to me. First of all, Jeff Jericho was one of the all time greats. He was a champion's champion. He was the kind of man that, if you knew he was on the ticket, the show was going to rock. Notice the emphasis on the word WAS. As in HAS BEEN. Jericho hasn't been the same since his son was murdered. He started drinking again, his wife left him. He wandered around London wasting time until someone needed him again. Unfortunately for Jericho the man that needed him is his antithesis. Oh yeah, I forget I am addressing CWF fans. Antithesis means total fucking opposite. Jeff Jericho could walk in a promotion and within a week have the world title around his waist, the former champ running for the hills, and all the ladies in the arena getting moist. Brian Adams on the other hand takes a decade to take over a promotion. He still is unable to command the respect of the locker room, and women tend to give him pepper spray more often that they give him their phone numbers. Yes indeed folks, he is an Antithesis of Jeff Jericho. But wait.....there's more. Let's talk for a brief moment about his tag team partner, the "other" Orlando Magic fan in the CWF, Mr. Keith Daniels. I just have to ask you a question that inquiring minds want to know Keith. What makes you so sure that you will be granted a title shot against me at Summer Smash? I mean, no offense to your highly overinflated ego, but guys like The Raving Lunatic and Motion deserve a title shot before somebody like you. Now Keith, don't take that the wrong way pal-o-mine. You are good at what you do. I just don't think anyone, regardless of their past and their prior achievements, should be handed a National title shot over guys who have been around the CWF earning their stripes and taking their lumps. For being the pair of cunts you two are, constantly bitching about how things were back when the Boston Pops ran the show and how if it weren't for ass clowns like Z-Pac, MVP, Jimmy Luciano, and Chris Reinhardt, you would have achieved your career pinnacles long ago, you sure do seem to mirror and match their actions to the hilt. What do I mean by that? I never thought you'd ask! Case and point. Z-Pac won the title in controversy and while he "succesfully" defended it aganst everyone from Pledge Alligence and Paul Blair to T-Money and yours truly, he only retained because of screwjob endings and constant interferance. Much like our esteemed champion, Mr. Brian Adams. He also claimed that he "didn't need" Jeff Jericho at his side, and the instant Jericho left Pain Killers, they fell apart. Z lost the title in a three way match with ...suprise suprise suprise......Pledge Alligence and Rob Osbourne. The in-fighting between the remaining members of Pain Killers eventually led to the four year hiatus the CWF recently returned from. The difference between the Pain Killers and Shock Value are the little minute details everyone misses, such as Z, Double J, Rein, and Marolda having more world titles between them than Daniels and Adams have titles period throughout their entire careers. Hell, if you take Jericho out of the Shock Value line-up, what kind of pedigree can they produce? I mean, Daniels has NEVER won a CWF title. Adams has one Unified title run which he managed to successfully defend...uhm....NEVER. He dropped that belt a week after winning it back to the same man he won it from. Then he had his two Mid Atlantic runs; the first lasted an entire twenty-four hours - the second run was ended by...guess who? That's right, it was Pledge Alligence at Season's Beatings in 99, which was also Adam's first title defense. But that's okay, because the same night he picked up his lone tag title when he teamed up with Psycho Youth. That lasted a whole week as well. Again, not one single successful title defense. And of course there is his recent world championship title run. At least he has finally figured out how to retain a title longer than a week.....have Jericho crack the REAL champion with a TV camera. Should I continue? Should I go on giving you factual talking points that show you fans exactly why Adams is nothing more than a cancer? Should I tell you how much he reminds me of "The Fluke"? Should I tell you how I will beat him and Daniels even without Pledge there to give me a breather? Nah. It's what we call in the edumacated world as a moot point. Look it up morons. Above all of this, I want you to know something Adams. I hold you personally responsible for what will happen to little Keith not just last week, but this week, and every week leading up to and including Summer Smash. You brought this on him. You led him down this very dark path that he cannot begin to navigate alone. Daniels, with friends like Adams, you don't need any enemies. Soon you will realize this. Soon you will see that the only thing Adams has brought into your life at this juncture is pain. Ha...did you see it? Keith...Adams is going to let me show you why your.....Life is paiN. See you bitches in my ring. **Osbourne finishes his promo and shuts his connection to PWN down. He heads down stairs to the front desk. As he approaches, the Desk Clerk ducks behind the counter. Osbourne chuckles as he heads outside and hops in the Mustang. He heads towards the Tacomadome thirty miles away from his hotel. As he arrives at the arena he is greeted by Kodiak Winters who tells him Xamin needs to see him ASAP. He heads into the boss's office. Xamin motions for him to have a seat as he finishes a phone call.** Xamin: Rob, thanks for coming to see me. NRO: Like I had a choice. Winters practically had to drag me in here. Make it quick Mark, this is Rob time not CWF time. Xamin: Well, if you prefer me to be so blunt then fine. What are you doing to me? NRO: What? Xamin: You are single handedly causing me more problems than I care to have right now Rob. Between your schitzo of a nephew and your brother interrupting my show to you running amuck through my roster and the complaints stemming from the boys in the back about Pledge getting title shot after title shot after title shot at Adams and not being able to get the job done, combined with the bitching and back biting about Drastic screwing everyone else out of the LoTR tourney and then interfering in Lunatics match after pulling out of it himself and compound that with the fact that I am already hearing complaints, more because he's your kid than anything to do with his natural talent and abilities, about Bob being in the Unified title match and add that to you finding a way to hold on to that National Title via pretty much the same tacticts you just criticized Adams himself of...........I'm about ready to send the whole lot of you misfit Osbournes packing. You are a damned talented bunch and you do put asses in the seats, but I am not quite sure that the reward outdoes the risk. NRO: WHOA JACK! I didn't come to you, you came to ME. You and Pledge and that jobber Blair...you were the ones that ganged up on my ego and fed it just enough to bring it back. I was done. I was out of the business for four long years. I was living vicariously through my kid and then....like Michael Corleone......everytime I think I'm out, they pull me back in. You asked for this. Like they always said about KISS....you wanted the best, you got the best. Now what you choose to do with it is up to you pal. I have no problem taking my ball and going home, but it will be known that it is by YOUR hand. Not mine. I told you...I vehemently warned you that I would NOT be held responsible for Drastic when you signed him. I told you I was not responsible for what happend when you decided to offer a contract to my brother. I even told you that I didn't think Bobby was ready to make the jump. But YOU signed him anyway. And as for them bitching about me being the National Champion and finding a way, by hook or by crook, to hold onto the strap around my waist....I told you when you wanted me to be the last entry into your Craze in the Maze and go after your World title, I said I wanted to come in and work my way back to the top. To earn it for a change instead of being handed a title shot without even really facing anyone **COUGH** Keith Daniels ** COUGH** Look here man, if you think for one milisecond that I give a rats ass what those whine tit mother fuckers in the back have to say you are sadly, SADLY mistaken. Mark, you and I both know I have made a career out of pissing those same guys off. That's why I'm the Super Uber Heel. That's why you wanted me in the CWF and that's why I am the Champ, that's why my kid is gonna win your Unified Title, and then, fuck it, give Daniels the National title for all I care. Because let it be known to you....to my dear brothers Pledge and Chris....to all of Shock Value, and more importantly to one man. Magnus Thunder. Whoever comes out of Summer Smash with that World strap....I'm coming for it, regardless of if I have the National title still or not. It's time for someone to restore some dignity to your championship line. Between me, Bob, Pledge, BJ, and Chris....we very could well make up your entire championship squad. What ever will those poor little curtain jerkers think then? **Osbourne turns on his heel and bumps his shoulder intentionally into Winters catching the bigger man off guard and causing him to take a step back, Xamin orders him to step back and Osbourne heads back out to the main concourse. He walks towards the freight elevator down to the concessions warehouse. He steps off into the main loading area for the food and beverages that will be prepared and consumed by the tens of thousands that will be in attendance Saturday night at Showdown. He sees some warehouse guys standing just out the door smoking while they wait for the next shipment to be loaded on their cushman carts. One of the guys approaches Osbourne.** Worker: Holy shit...you're Rob Osbourne! NRO: I am? Worker: You aren't? NRO: I'm not? Worker: I'm confused. NRO: I'm just fuckin with ya man. Rob Osbourne, it's a pleasure. **Osbourne shakes the mans hand.** Worker: I'm Bruce. Bruce Diggity. NRO: I'm sorry. Did you say Diggity? As in John Diggity? Worker: Yeah....that was my dad's name. You knew him? NRO: Yes, well, no. Not personally. You know how the wrestling business is. I knew of him. I know he's the guy that had a long Unified Title run back in the CWF in 99. He lost it to a young Brian Adams but won it back from him a week later. He held onto it again for awhile before vacating the title and hooking up with that jobber Paul Blair as the tag team TSC. I know my CWF history. Worker: But back then you hated the CWF didn't you? NRO: Indeed. I only recently watched all the old footage of the CWF's heydays I could when Adams was giving me shit about never winning a CWF title. Worker: What an asshole. Dad never did care for him. Said he was a pompous ass and if he was half as good as he thought he was he wouldn't be but half bad. NRO: Classic Diggity. How is your old man? Worker: He passed away about three months ago. It was sudden. He was fairly healthy. His body was ravaged from his years in the ring, but otherwise he was healthy as an ox. Then on March 21st he had a massive heart attack and we found him dead in his condo in Miami Beach with a Long Island Iced Tea in one hand and his remote control in the other. Never found out why he had the heart attack. NRO: Dude.... Worker: What? NRO: I know why your dad had the heart attack. Was his TV on a PPV channel? Worker: Actually, now that you mention it, it was. Why do you ask? NRO: Do you have the final bill from his cable provider for his condo? Worker: I'm sure my sister has it in Florida. Why? NRO: March 21st was the night that Brian Adams won the CWF World Heavuweight Championship. Worker: WHAT?!?!?!?! BRIAN ADAMS KILLED MY FATHER?!?!?!?!?! NRO: Apparently so, albeit unintentional. Worker: I could care less why. He's responsible for it nonetheless. NRO: Well, fortunate for you he will be right here in this very arena in just a few short days. Worker: Thanks for the information Mr. Osbourne, and I for one hope you rip him limb from god damned limb this Saturday, Shit, he had better hope a stretcher is how he gets out of this place. If I catch him outside the arena, I'll pop a cap in his punk ass. NRO: Please, call me Rob. And thanks for the compliment and well wishes. I tell you what, how about you let me take care of Mr. Adams for you and you take care of yourself? You're better than this. Call this friend of mine I have in Olympia. He'll get you better work than this kid. Good luck. Worker: Hey, thanks Rob. NRO: least I could do for you man. Take care. **Osbourne grins as he walks away mentally prepared to stand head to head and toe to toe with Shock Value. FTB** |
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