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| **The scene opens to find Rob Osbourne leaving the offices of Jack Del Rio, head football coach of the Jacksonville, Jaguars and former college teammate of Osbourne's. As Rob peels out of the parking lot of Alltell Stadium in his 2007 Maseratti Quattroporte. Two hours later he pulls into the drive of his estate in Windermer, Florida. As he walks into the house he flips the plasma onto the Pro Wrestling Network, the cable network owned by his wife Chrstina Danky. PWN is airing the promos of different CWF superstars leading up to this week's Showdown event in Provo, Utah. Osbourne's own promo ends and Paul Blair's begins. Osbourne pops the top on a Heineken and sits at the bar stool and watches Blair's promo. As it ends he switches on his digital uplink to PWN that his wife installed in the home.**
NRO: So Paul Blair found me important enough to take time off from his busy schedule in Hollyweird to address. Thank you very much Mr. Blair. Let me do the same. First of all, I found your attempt at humor as pathetic as Hudson's win-loss record. As for being an esteemed member of the CWF Hall of Fame...wow...so the CWF wasn't my stomping ground. I think Brian Adams beat you to the punch establishing that. Hell, for that matter Z-Pac wore that line out thumping his book of morbid poetry five years ago. So we're one for one on originality, between you bringing up my lack of CWF dominance that everyone else knew about, and me calling you The Drooler. So both are true. So what? When was the last time you won a match against me Paul Blair? WHEN?!? NEVER! THAT'S WHEN!!! In the IoA I wiped the floor with you. In the CWF befor,e I wiped the floor with you. In the UWL, I wiped the floor with you. In the ZOO TV tournament my half-retarded in-bred cousin Matt Osbourne a.k.a. The Gravedigger wiped the floor with you. You should rename yourself "The Mop" Paul Blair. You also brought up the fact that I was mentioning other people in my last segment and that I should focus more on you. That just isn't neccessary Paul. I don't have to sweat a match with you Blair. Just like you won't really focus on me. You know and I know that it is pointless. Me, I need to start preparing for putting that seven foot five inch retard out of commission once and for all. But you have made it a point to garner my attention, so as the old saying goes, be careful what you wish for, you just might get it...and with that being said, I want to ask you to do something Paul. I want you to shut up and listen to me. That's why God gave you two ears and one mouth. I want you to ask yourself why you think you will win this match. Let me help you go through the things I would be asking myself. 1. Are you faster? 2. Are you stronger? 3. Are you smarter? 4. Are you better than me? 5. Have you had more OVERALL success in your career? 6. Have you ever beaten me before? 7. Have you ever come even CLOSE to beating me? 8. Can you afford to, as a last resort, bribe the ref? Let's answer those questions for you Paulie. 1. Only in bed. 2. Only your B.O. 3. Really? Do we need to go there? He's from River Falls, Wisconsin for crying out loud. 4. Only at shuffleboard. 5. No, no you haven't. 6. No, we have firmly established that fact already. 7. Not that I recall, how about you Paul, do you remember even getting a near fall on The Nitemare? 8. You are demeaning yourself to be made a mockery of by starring in a ridiculous B-movie called The Karate Priest...for some reason I don't think you would accept that role, nor would you still be competing at your age in your shape, unless you were in fact hard up for cash. EUREKA!!!! I have figured it out people, Paul Blair is destitute. Peniless. In shambles. Robin must have cleaned you out eh Paul? Well, I felel bad having handed you your ass so many times. How about I give you a loan....no hand-outs, I know you are too proud for that. You pay me back when you can Paulie....(Osbourne winks) now how much do you need to get you back on your feet old bean? **Scene fades as Osbourne's power seems to go out as a very bad thunderstorm passes into Orange County. Osbourne heads into the garage and flips on his back-up generators. As he walks back in the house his computer chimes, indicating he has an e-mail. He opens it....** From: "MySpace" <[email protected]>Add sender to Contacts To: [email protected] Pledge would like to be added to your MySpace friends list. ----------------- Full name: Pledge Alligence Note from Pledge: ----------------- To accept the friend request, go to MySpace: http://collect.myspace.com/reloc.cfm?c=1&id= View Pledge's profile: http://www.myspace.com/pledgealligence **Osbourne just stares at the screen for a moment and looks dumbfounded. Trying to figure out if it a hoax or not, he does the one thing he rarely does...he calls his half-brother....** Pledge: What? NRO: Is that how you always answer your phone? Pledge: No, only when it's you. What do you want Rob? NRO: I just opened my e-mail and...well...I wanted to see if this is legit or if its another hoax... Pledge: ANOTHER hoax? NRO: Yeah, I keep getting MySpace friends requests from you. 17 different ones actually. And none were really you. Pledge: Why do you think this is any different? NRO: Dunno. Thought maybe it was time to talk. Pledge: Really? Do you mean that? I'll set it up with Dennis Donnely. We can do it at Showdown. NRO: See you Saturday then....brother. **FTB** |
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