**NEWS FLASH**
The following is aired via NewsChannel 5, the CBS affiliate in Nashville, Tennessee. They are just going in to a broadcasting break with a flashing news story on a local Nashville celebrity.

**Scene opens to the NewsChannel 5 studios, where Chris Clark is standing by waiting to go live with this tragic breaking news story**

CLARK: Breaking news out of West Nashville this morning. Nashvillian, and professional wrestling/sports entertainment performer and prominant Nashville businessman, Rob Osbourne, known to wrestling fans as "The Nitemare" was brutally ran down this past wekeend while attending a meeting in Canada. The footage we are about to air is a NewsChannel 5 exclusive, from the International Organization of Anarchy, or the IOA for short, where Osbourne was a part of the stable known as the Unholly Alliance. His temates apparently took things to drastic measures in an attempt to take out Mr. Osbourne.

Again, I warn you, viewer discretion is advised...

**Screen fades to black and then to snow as the video feed begins. We are immediately taken to the Saturday Heat Wave television show from the IOA...**

[Scene shows Triple J sitting in a park bench somewhere in downtown Toronto. Triple J is wearing a suit and wearing dark black sunglasses. He sits motionless on the bench waiting for someone to show up. The camera does a wide shot to show Nightmare Rob Osborne walking towards Jeff Jericho. He sits down beside him on the bench and they start talking. ]

Nightmare: So? Start talking Jericho. I�m listening.

Triple J: How much?

Nightmare: Excuse me?

Triple J: How much for you to keep your mouth shut?

Nightmare: Your trying to bribe me.

Triple J: Yes I am.

Nightmare: Are you that desperate Jericho.

Triple J: Yes I am. The Alliance doesn�t need this type of publicity. We cannot allow the rest of the UA-IOA to see us fighting. It shows weakness and it gives the IOA resistance hope that they can defeat us. These are difficult times Mr. Osborne, we are at war with the IOA resistance and I am willing to take what ever measures to bring peace back to the Alliance. Because when the Alliance is at peace and working on the same page, nobody can defeat us. You are disrupting the peaceful balance, and I want to know how much it is going to take to get you to just walk away from the Alliance and the UA-IOA?

Nightmare: I don�t want your money you pathetic fool.

Triple J: Then what do you want Osborne? There must be something I can do to change your mind?

Nightmare: I want your spot as leader of the Alliance. I have no troubles with Z-Pac as leader, its you who I want destroyed. Your running the Alliance into the ground, your letting your troubles with you father cloud your judgment. So, in the best interest of the Alliance, I want you gone!

Triple J: Your frigging crazy! I can see why the Russo family ditched your withered old ass. If I had known signing you would have brought the Alliance this much grief, I would have crippled your ass once and for all.

Nightmare: But you didn�t, did you boy? And now because of your stupidity your days in the Alliance are finished. Because, Chris and I are not going to listen to you anymore. We are taking over the Alliance and we are going to kick your ass to the curb.

Triple J: So there is nothing I can do to change your mind?

Nightmare: Ha Ha Ha! No Jericho! Your ass belongs to me.

Triple J: Well, I guess we are going to have an Alliance civil war because I�m not going anywhere. So, I�ll see you and Chris at Heat Wave this weekend.

Nightmare: That you will Jericho. Chris and I will be seeing you real soon.

Triple J: Oh by the way Ozzy, where is Chris?

Nightmare: How should I know.

Triple J: Well the reason I ask is because here he comes driving down the street in the hummer.

Nightmare: He is?????????

[Camera pans to show a black hummer speeding down the road and heading straight for Osborne and Jericho. Triple J calmly steps out of the way, leaving Osborne right in the path of the hummer. SMASH! Chris Reinhardt runs right over Nightmare Osborne, sending him crashing up over the top of the hummer and down to the concrete. Chris slams on the breaks and gets out to survey the scene. He looks at Triple J and the two begin to laugh and high five one another. Coming out of a dark ally is the Alliance Bounty Hunter. He walks over to Chris and Jeff. Triple J speaks. ]

Triple J: Ozzy, you stupid son of a bitch. Never trust a Jericho! Hell, never trust Chris Reinhardt either. You thought you could bring us down? You thought you could use Chris as your puppet? Well who is laughing now you basterd! Your ass is fired! Bounty Hunter, clean up this mess before the cops show up. Chris, lets go celebrate.

[ Scene fades with Chris and Jeff walking over to the hummer and speeding away from the scene. In the background we can see the Bounty Hunter shooting two of his poison darts into a crippled Nightmare, who immediately starts convulsing on the street. Screen fades back to the arena and Triple J! ]

**Scene fades back into the studio, where Chris Clark once again begins to speak...**

CLARK: Ladies and gentlemen, this heinous act was facilitated by men that are currently wanted for this crime, but are out of the country on a tour of the Third World.

We know , as of press time, that Mr. Osbourne is clinging to life at Vanderbilt University Medical Center. Channel 5's Vicki Yates is standing by, with Osbourne's other employer, Supreme Action Wrestling's, spokewoman Trixie Lee...Vicki, are you there...

**Scene staticly goes from the studio to the building face of Vanderbilt University Medical Center in Nashville, Tennessee. Vicki Yates is standing with Trixie Lee, awaiting her cue. As she receives it she bgins her interview...**

YATES: Ms. Lee, thank you for being available for comment in what i can only assume is a very trying period for the Osbourne family, as well as your organization. What is the current mood of those involved?

TRIXIE: Well Vicki, the only thing any of us are really concerned with right now is Rob. His wife and three children are with him. He is still unconcious, at the moment, but we are told it is induced, as he tried to sit up in the OR. He is actually much better than reported, but is being sedated so that his temper will not keep him from healing.

YATES: So he isn't near death?

TRIXIE: Actually, no, he had two ribs broken, and alot of scrapes and cuts, several bruises,but other than tht he is ok!

YATES: (looking frustrated)Ms. Lee, you mentioned before that he sat up during surgery...and the tape we received showed him convulsing, what are th backstory of those incidents?

TRIXIE:(giggling) Oh, the surgery was on his penis, so when the doctors forgot they hadn't "properly sedated" the "surgical region" and the knife touched the foreskin, Osbourne began attacking the doctor in charge. They had to sedate him to finish the procedure.

YATES: And what exactly would that procedure be Ms. Lee?

TRIXIE: Oh, you didn't know? Due to the new role Mr. Osbourne was taking on in the IOA, our competition, he knew he was going to be ordering around some major players, so he was getting his dick enlarged. That way he would have the biggest strudel in the locker room. The convulsions were from the "secret dart" shot into the Nitemare by the UA Bounty Hunter.

YATES: You have got to be kidding me, I am covering the big cock enlargement story of the day? Awe shit, what the hell, what was in the dart Ms. Lee?

TRIXIE: The doctors here in the Vandy ER said it was Heroine. Apparently, the Bounty Hunter that shot the dart is so careless, he reached in the wrong bag to load his dart gun. Instead of his heart attack inducing poison, he nailed The Nitemare with one of Chris Reinhardt's vials of Heroine. The convulsions were a near overdose. The worst thing Rob has to worry about in regards to that poke from the needls is passing a drug test, and the whole world knows that wouldn't happen anyway. We are happy to announce that Mr. Osbourne will comeplete a full recovery. As soon as he comes out of recovery, he will be sent home. He has a week to rest his manhood until he attends to "previous business arrangements." Then he will be headed to the S.A.W. on a full time wrestling basis.

YATES: He isn't even an inpatient for Christ's sakes.....hello...Chris....fuck this, I'm going down to Baptist Hospital, they just admitted Toby Keith, apparently he was choking on some scattered,smothered,covered,chunked, diced, and topped hashbrowns at Waffle House, we will report as soon as we arrive on the scene...

**Scene fades to black as an embarassed reporter and her camera crew head up 21st avenue towards Baptist Hospital.**