 |
| **Scene opens to find Rob Osbourne riding his motorcycle across the campus of Florida State University. His destination? The FSU Athletic Hall Of Fame. He parks his bike and heads inside , barechested in a pair of jeans with his trademark purple Oakley frogskin shades perched on his forehead. As he enters the building the first display he comes to is that of the only three FSU football players to have their numbers retired. Dion Sanders, Ron Simmons, and Burt Reynolds. He laughs to himself at the famous line from the football classic 'The Longest Yard' starring Burt. As he remembers the scene he is approached by PWN Reporter, Dan Fucksaw.** FUCKSAW: Mr. Osbourne we were wondering what your thoughts are after the recent psychological ploy by the mysterious "Mr.D" , your apparent opponent at Inception.... NRO: (In a horrible "dumb jock" voice) I THINK I BROKE HIS FUCKING NECK!!! FUCKSAW: I'm sorry? NRO: The Longest Yard, Burt Reynolds, 1978...oh God, how do you consider yourself a sports reporter and not know about The Longest Yard?? FUCKSAW: I regret to inform you Mr. Osbourne that I have not seen the film in question. However, or moreover, whoever is this man who seems to know quite allot about you? NRO: Your guess is as good as mine Dan. To tell you the truth, I am not worried about it very much at all. I have my suspicions, but I am once again pulling mental rank. I reviewed my contract for this match. Being the Democracy the AIW is, each performer is contracted into matches and not forced. I signed against Dan Hudson. Not "Mr.D" But , for a price, I'll do it. Speaking of the mysterious figure with those eyes....where have I seen those eyes? Bah...it isn't important. What is , is the fact that little miss sweet tits wants to buy me out. It ain't gonna happen....cheaply! You see I always know when to act with extreme prejudice, and when to let shit slide. This devious act will not happen without me getting something out of it. I will sell you my half of the AIW for a shot at the AIW World Championship #1 contendorship. How is that for slick business demands baby? FUCKSAW: Once again another poignant interview Mr. Osbourne. Thank you, and be sure to catch PWN Friday Night Fury tomorrow. **The camera crew and Fucksaw make their way out of the building. Osbourne, now bored witht he nostalgia of the swamp juice drinking Floridian Engine Hall of Fame. He steps outside and climbs aboard his bike and revs the engine and smiles before popping a wheelie and speeding off.** |
 |
 |
|
| **Twenty-five BatMare minutes later the bike comes screeching to a hault behind Gold's Gym , just off the FSU campus in Tallahassee. As he climbs off his bike he is forced to do a double take as a low rider BMW with gold daytons, and tinted everything with gold trim and topped off with a rhinestone Florida license plate reading THAHEDLINER. NRO shudders at the thought of who may be in that vehicle headed for Doak-Cambpell stadium as he opens the door to Gold's and heads past the reception desk, flashing a Nation wide Gold's Gym 'Gold Club' membership card. He ducks into a dressing room and re-emerges in his purple speedos and head heads for the pool deck. After a few laps he pops out of the water and waves to some fans near the pool. As he is waving he notices an AIW Camera crew approaching.** |
| IRA HUFFINGPAINT: Good afternoon Mr. Osbourne. Would you have a moment to spare regarding the recent conspiracies going around the AIW locker room concerning a various number of different people? NRO: God it's tough being me, two interviews an hour? What the hell.... HUFFINGPAINT: Good. First, their is still speculation as to who the trigger man was in the shooting of Keith Collins. You were the one who brought them into the MWWF when Kevin was killed in a match against the Maple Leafs. It was also you, ironically, that brought them into the AIW against the Loco's Recently, El Pollo Loco hinted at the fact that there were greater powers at work and that he had a 'friend' with enough connections to make him alot of Money. People are saying you are that man Mr. Osbourne, what are your comments on that? NRO: What?!?!? Yeah, I brought three old college friends I met when UTC wrestled against Minnestoa into the MWWF, what of it? What happened to Kevin Collins back in 1996 was in no way my fault. I had nothing to do with that match. As for the recent tragedy that the media seems to be missing, the second death of a Collins brother in the ring, or within close proximity, is in a way, my fault. I got them to come out of retirement. And that's as far as it goes. I had nothing to do with that sick freak Gabe Morrison sporting a wood at the massive Keith Collins, or El Gringo's fit of jealous rage. I think you need to direct your line of questioning at an old friend of mine, The Jackass, Jack Mason. HUFFINGPAINT: As you may not be aware Mr. Osbourne, Mz. Danky signed a plethora of new talent, including former Unholy Alliance stablemate of yours, T-Money. With all the members of the UA now under AIW contracts, how long before we see a resurgence of the most dominant force in SAW history? NRO: What? Did you say T-money? Awe shit. I gotta go man... **NRO Hops on his bike and peels out in the direction that the black BMW was headed leaving Huffingpaint standing in the road. To be continued....FTB** |
 |
 |
 |
| Click the AIW logo to go to the AIW Click the flashing glass to go to the Official website of The Nitemare |