I don't need a subject bitch!

**The scene opens to find the Nitemare aboard his private jet headed for North Carolina. He is going through some files at his desk aboard the luxury airliner. He stumbles across the unsigned contract his attorney's have drawn up that sells his half of the AIW for the right to face Kyle Williams for the World Championship. He decides he will utilize this time to review the "fine print" if you will, and ensure that the attorney's have inlcuded all of his provisions. As he reads he grins...you know the grin, that shit eating grin that only Rob Osbourne can display. He lays down the contract and switches on the digital uplink to the PWN server.**

NRO: It is official AIWites, I will indeed face "The One and Lonely" Kyle Williams this Thursday at Antidote for the World Championship. Now, most of you all will remember that about a month ago, I had a little shouting match with AIW owner, Mz. Danky. She and her husband wanted me to sell my half of the financial rights to the AIW. I said that if they signed a contract stating I would receive the match of my choosing for the bout that I would sell.

I haven't signed the contract yet, as you can plainly see. The reason? I don't trust Christina Danky or her husband, Donovan Torigianni any further than I can throw Donovan, and any of you that were at Inception saw that while I can hang with 'Roid-opolis, I am in no position to hoist his massive frame into the air. So withthat said, this contract doesn't get inked until the cell is around the ring and I am about to climb in and have the door locked behind me.

Keep in mind what Big D told you Mz.D, and that is that I am first and foremost a businessman. Wrestling may have made me famous, but my business savvy and prowess made me rich! So, in the even that ole' Ryan Mendez decides to come down and give the assist, the contract is null and void. If Fazz McLovely shows his blonde mop anywhere around that cell, the contract is null and void. If I get jumped before the match begins by anyone from T-Money, to The Legend Killers, the contract is null and void. If the urinal cakes in my dressing room bathroom aren't coconut scented, the contract is null and void. If I don't have three pounds of marijuana from the Chiu Valley in northern Terzmikistan, the contract is null and void. If I get indigestion from the food on the catering buffet, the contract is null and void. I think you see my point Christina.

As for little Kyle. My, my, for such a lucky individual, you sure can run that trap like a pro KW. Kyle Williams, Ryan Mendez (a.k.a. AWOL) while I consider you both friends, I didn't get to where I am without sticking the knife in a few backs and twisting boys. Please believe me when i say that I hope we come away from this match still friends. I hope for your sake Kyle, that you learn a little something this week. Mainly about how to mentally prepare for the "big one."

Sure, Gabe gave you a hell of a match, but it wasn't a "big one." When you get inside that cell and there is no way out, up , down, left, right, frontways, sideways, upways or crossways, will you still be as cocky and arrogant Kyle? I will be. You can take that one to the bank.

If you like to play the numbers and call up your bookies whenever you hear about a sure bet folks, I encourage you to go ahead and place your bets. If you put an Andrew Jackson to win on NRO, you can bet you will come out ahead, regardless of how you bet the rest of the night. Things come, things go. Shit changes everyday. The one constant in the wrestling world is Rob Osbourne. It doesn't matter if the ratings are up or down. It doesn't make three shakes of a lamb's nipple if the arena is sold out or if we are playing a remote third world cole miners meeting, Rob Osbourne will deliver to the people every penny's worth of their admission. I always have and I always will, win or lose, that is a sure bet!

Speaking of sure bets, any bets on just who Kerry Collins will be facing off against this week?

Could it be me? It could, but it probably isn't. Kyle, shine it up. Only 3 days left.

**Just then the jumbo jet comes screetching to a hault on the runway of a deserted North Carolina. Rob steps off the aircraft and dials a number on his cell phone.**

RECEPTIONIST: Shadyville Sanitarium, this is Claudette, may i help you?

NRO: Yes ma'am, I need to speak to a minnimum security patient.

RECEPTIONIST: Well, we don't allow patients of any status phone provelages....except one.

NRO: Wes Smith?

RECEPTIONIST: I'm not sure, is that the guy who used to be a wrestler? Darkhorse Warlord or something?

NRO: That'd be Darklight Warrior, and yeah, let me hollar at him.

RECEPTIONIST: One moment please.

**A few minutes later a gritty voice picks up the extension...**

DLW: Darklight Shogun Chinese Eatery, will this be dine in or carry out?

NRO: Darklight? It's Rob Osbourne. How ya been man? I haven't talked to you since they comitted you for eating Kasawe Musaki...

DLW: Ok carry out then. What can I get for you tonight?

NRO: Wes, it's The Nitemare. I'm in town for a show at the Independance Arena. Thought maybe I could stop by and have lunch with you, maybe see if we can get you sedated enough to fool the appeals court for a release. It would be great to work with you again.

DLW: One flied lice. One crab ragoon. One moo goo gai pan, and three orders of wanton....ok, got it, and then?

NRO: Well, we can have Chinese if you want, I like Orange Chicken myself.

DLW: Orange Chicken...and then?

NRO: And then we could maybe at least work out something for a day pass. I have a World Title match in a Hell in a Cell. You know you want to see that from the front row Wes....

DLW: One row of front matched Hellcell...and then?

NRO: Jack is back....

DLW:...........JACK?

NRO: The Jackass came out of retirement in the SAW, but we got sick of Pledge's asstastic political regime , so we bailed. Hey, T-Money was there too. So, I bought some stock in an upstart on good word from Donovan Torigianni. you remember Degradation, from the NCW, right?

DLW: And one gallon of Chinese Herbal Tea? And then?

NRO: Well, and then I decided, fuck it, I still have a good run left in me, so I am signing over my half of the company in return for a World Title shot this week. But I was hoping to make one last aquisition before I hand over the reigns. You up for it?

DLW: Jack Mason has returned to the ring? Rob Osbourne in a World Title match? T-Money, a champion? Quick, to the Darklight Mobile, we must stop this dastardly act before all the world has been raped with the malicious viciousness of the ....ugh...ahhh....AAAHHGGHHHHH!!!!!

RECEPTIONIST: I'm sorry sir, he started screaming and ran down the hallway screaming obscenities about leaving the demon in its cave....odd.....

NRO: When are your visiting hours over?

RECEPTIONIST: Oh, visiting hours? I don't know, we have the sickest, most twisted minds in the free world, we don't get many visitors. I guess you can come by whenever, there is someone on duty twnety four hours a day.

NRO: Thanks Claudette!!!

**Osbourne hangs up the phone and waits for the hatch to open. As it does, his purple customized Ferarri rolls off of the ramp and he hops inside, peels out and speeds off. Several minutes later he comes screetching to a hault in front of the Ritz-Carlton three blocks from the arena. Osbourne heads to the reception desk as he tosses his keys to a valet parking attendant. He goes to the counter and checks in. As he turns, a PWN camera crew and PWN reporter Ira Huffingpaint approach him for an interview.**

NRO: Hello Ira...

IRA: Good evening Mr. Osbourne, may we..

NRO: Hurry it up, I'm starvin' like Marvin dude.

IRA: Very well, recently, your opponent for this week's Antidote, the AIW World Champion "The One and Only" Kyle Williams, had the following to say....

AIW Interviewer : Kyle , what are your views on Rob Osbourne at the moment ?

Kyle : Robs been a good friend throughout my run in the AIW , he�s supported me in the beating up of the Osbourne brothers , who seem to have gone away now , which is a good thing . and he even supported me in the gaining of the very title that he hopes to acquire himself in the near future . Now I have all respects for Rob , but he hasn�t held a title yet in the AIW and he got beaten at the PPV , this proves he can be beaten and he isn�t as good as he makes out to be , therefore I will beat him and retain my title which proves I am the best no matter what �apart from if I lose my title�then the person that gets it will be the best and not me �but that wont happen .

AIW Interviewer : Ok we get the picture , but he says that he will beat you and he seems extremely confident , don�t you think that there is just the odd chance he could get the victory ?

Kyle : There is one thing I�ve learned about Rob , he is always too confident for his own good , he underestimates people , if he lost 30 matches in a row he would still say he is going to win the next one , no matter how much he says he will win , no matter how great he thinks he is and no matter if he starts to win the match on the night itself , at the end of the day , he will get badly hurt for underestimating �The One And Only� Kyle Williams , I will walk out of the cell with my belt held around my hands and the crowd will cheer me as I walk out of the arena , maybe in a bloody mess , but there is one thing for certain , Rob will be a bloodier mess .

IRA:...any thoughts?

NRO: So he thinks barely losing to Donovan freakin' Torigianni is a let down? I'll have you know Kyle, I have been beaten more than once recently. I was beaten by Donovan, my last loss before that was to Scott Deville, losing the SAW Undisputed Championship, which I held for two months. My last loss before that was, again, to Donovan Torigianni for the SAW World Title. Before that i think the last loss was against Z-Pac to tell you the truth, I lost more matches, a total of 4, in the last year and a half, than I had the previous five years, which the losses for totaled 3. So, please, Kyle, if you can wrestle for almost seven years and only average one loss a year, then , by all means, you SHOULD retain that World Championship.

But you won't. You call me cocky? You damned straight son. I am cocky because I have been there, and I have done that. The days of me questioning myself before a match ended about 1998 pal. The day we put my dad in the ground, I quit worrying about tomorrow. I started looking forward to the pain. But it's all good Kyle. Whatever you want to believe in your alcohol induced stupor is fine with me. You obviously can't hold your liquor, and I can 100% guarandamntee that on Thursday, wether you crawl away from the ring with, or without the AIW World Championship, you will indeed crawl away, a broken, bloodied mess of your former self. Then you will be able to say that you had a chapter in the Never-ending Story, the story of my life Kyle. How long can I possibly keep going at this pace Kyle? I don't know the answer to that question, but I do know, it's going to be alot longer than this Thursday. Shine it up Kyle. Shine it up.

**Osbourne walks away, signifying the end of the interview. Ira Huffingpaint shrugs his shoulders and the camera man replaces the lens cap on the camera as the scene fades to black.**