Out of my mind,
Wish i could go blind,
And deaf too,
So i wont see or hear you.
Then i wont know,
The things you say under my nose.
Do you know about the pain inside?
You have added and the pain has multiplied.
Why am i so fun to talk about?
To sit by your friends, laugh while you point me out.
For what and why?
Because i cant do everything perfect the first time?
Or is it because your so insecure,
You must make me feel like shit to make your self look good.
I give up on making excuses for you,
There's no rightous reasons for what you do.
And your not gonna stop,
You'll do anything to sit on top,
But what you do only makes you lower,
Just like the rest of the ohters,
Of your kind,
Your all out of your minds.
I would like to sleep,
to go into my inner self deep.
But i cant,
I've tried and tried to my extent.
I lay down, close my eyes and wait,
But my thoughts just race untill no more i can take.
So now i just stay,
Up the whole night away.
I'll only sleep when im bored,
Like in school when they lecture some more.
I get anxiety, creative, and intergetic,
So i move, exercise, and become artistic.
But ive learned you dont need to sleep,
There's a whole 24 hours for you to think.
in your mouth i lick around,
slip my toung down,
in your throught, dont be messy,
with your lips, your saliva's what im craving.
you didnt think pleasure could taste so neat.
dont be rude,
keep your cool,
open your lips,
and let our toungs slip!
im growing farther away
from humans everyday.
at home in my room
my fear of people looms.
i wish it would all go away
just to be normal in a way
would be more than a gift.
if i could take a trip
into human trust
but id rather sit here and rust
than to take a stab into the dark
without a sheild around my heat.
scabs already lie here waiting to be reopened
to remind me how many times my hearts been broken
everytime i clam up just a little more
now everythings gotten out of controll.
i dont know how to smile
is living worth the while?
what i try to say
never comes out that way.
i want someone to care
i want someone to be there.
know one knows
i just say ive got to go
in the kitchen ill take a knife
now ill take my life
Deep inside
i know why
i feel this way
to enjoy the pain.
Deep inside
thruth does not lie
i try to sleep it all away
but it comes back everyday.
Deep inside
i see your eyes
you only like your own kind
thats why i clam up everytime
Deep inside
to enjoy the pain,
have anger come back everyday,
your acceptance should not be my fate,
Deep inside
sex, sex, its the best
do me harder than the rest
do me fast, make me squeal
do me before lunch and we'll have some veal!
it lays deep inside me,
its doing a good job at hurting me.
I feel week to its attack,
i try to hold it back.
But it doesnt go away,
it grows stronger everyday.
And when someone says hi,
i tell them i feel fine,
but in reality im so scared so i lie
to people; they cant see the truth inside.
They'll only say,
your insane.
Thats why i hide
from people with judging eyes.
Know one understands,
thats why the pain grows at hand.
Every night i lie awake,
suidside is my only fate!
fuck fuck, im out of luck!
i work all day and cant make a buck!
im tired, im hungery, im horney too!
dont get too close, or i'll fuck the shit out of you!