by Hephaestion

�Look at all this rain...� Ethan said to himself.

He woke up sweating and sticking to the sheets. The dawn in New Orleans was wet and hot. He looked over at the small ceramic fairy holding a thermometer on the wall; it read 90 degrees. He fanned himself with a Japanese fan he had purchased for a dollar at his favorite thrift store. There just wasn�t enough of a breeze coming from the ceiling fan.

Ethan sat by the French doors that led to a small balcony. It was raining too hard to sit on the actual balcony this morning. There was enough room for two chairs, a small table and a flowerpot with white gardenias in the corner. It was surrounded by black wrought iron with ivy growing on it. Ethan loved the balcony.

They had seen many apartments but this one was the one he wanted, the balcony being the main reason, so he begged Alain for this particular place. There was just no way he could have given up the quaint Garden District street apartment. It was an area that wasn't inhabited by the rich. It was a quiet street with Magnolia trees and rows of homes that were lived in by natives.

Ethan stretched his arms upward. He was tired although he just woke up. His brother would be home soon. He curled his feet under himself and continued to watch the rain. Now and then he would extend his thin pale arm to feel the warm water.

Thirty minutes later, he was starting to wonder what was taking Alain so long when the door to the room opened. Ethan looked over at the alarm clock by the bed. It was already 6:30 a.m. His brother was finally home.

"Were you waiting for me?"

Ethan smiled. "I woke up. I guess the rain and the heat wouldn't let me sleep any longer. We need to get a new AC unit. It's so hot in here. Jesus fucking Christ you're soaking wet."

"I'm fucking drenched. My face must be a mess. I'm sure my eyeliner is everywhere. This shit is supposed to be water-proof."

"Well Alain, you should get out of those clothes, I�ll go get us something to drink. You want tea or juice?"

"I want tea. Thanks Ethan..."

"The latest issue of the National Enquirer is near the bed. I was reading it last night. They have some rumor of Britney Spears doing a home-made porn movie. The gossip is that she wears a strap-on in it. Read the article while you're on the john. It's a hoot. I�ll be right back."

Alain grabbed the magazine as he headed into the bathroom.

Ethan arrived back into the room 30 minutes later. He carried a tray with tea, juice, toast and three medicine bottles. Alain was already in his pale blue robe. It was a tattered thing that needed to be replaced but it had been a birthday gift from his mother - so he refused to throw it away.

Ethan poured his brother tea while the older boy lit a cigarette.

"Do you want some toast?"

Alain shook his head. "No thanks..."

Ethan bit into a corner of the toast. After he swallowed he opened the pill bottles. He gathered his three pills together and put them all in his mouth. It was easier doing them all at once. He swallowed them down with a big gulp of orange juice. He could feel Alain's eyes on him.

"How are you feeling?"

Ethan shrugged his shoulders. "I'm all right. The heat is a bit much for me. But this new cocktail I�m on so far is working pretty well. I haven't had any bad side effects. It�s been what...six or seven months now. How are you doing?"

Alain crushed his cigarette in the small glass ashtray before lighting another one. "You shouldn't worry about me...worry about yourself Ethan."

Ethan watched his brother stand up.

The robe was slightly open to reveal the tightly muscled body. Alain had a trick that paid for the body waxing. He couldn�t blame the guy. It made Alain�s honey-tan skin glow smoothly without a single hair in sight. The lack of pubes gave way to a beautiful tattoo etched on his brother's body below the navel. The tattoo stopped before the base of his brother�s big cock.

Ethan took a deep breath, feeling quite warm. He looked at Alain. "Don't be an asshole. Of course I worry about you...I hate what you do to put food on the table and pay for rent. It sucks that you�ve got to hustle yourself out. If things weren�t so fucking messed up with me I know things would be different for you now. But instead I'm totally useless. I'm only a burden."

Alain hated it when Ethan got into his self-loathing moods. There was nothing he wouldn't do for Ethan. He had been taking care of him for years and he did it gladly. This was an old argument. So he took a deep breath and looked at his brother. It wasn�t easy for them but they had survived this long.

Alain flicked his cigarette out the balcony. He had worried that it would look strange that they got a one-bedroom apartment, so he made sure to get a sofa bed for the small living room. But Ethan wanted this place because of the damn balcony. It was a home that was converted into two apartments. The old lady they rented from lived downstairs. She knew she had a small gold mine, so they worked out a deal: Alain helped with the upkeep and lawn of the home; Mrs. Viola James didn't charge them a fortune in rent. In the end he told her about Ethan and that helped them also. She felt sorry for Ethan and helped by keeping an eye on him while Alain worked.

Alain worked as a bouncer at a hip little gay club downtown. However, to make real extra money he hustled. It was the only way to make the kind of money he knew they needed to live comfortably in NOLA. There were many men in New Orleans that were willing to pay for Alain�s services. Why give it out for free when he could make some bucks to help pay for food and things?

It seemed that the years were flying by. As the years progressed Alain knew they looked less like brothers to most people. He was 23 now and he was nearly 6 feet tall, with dark hair and dark eyes. Ethan was his physical extreme opposite, 16 and thin. He had pale blond hair that he had a local Jamaican hair shop do in dread-like fashion. The shop boasted to have clients like Rob Zombie and other musicians. The hand crafted long strands fell down the young man's face. Ethan's face and body both looked too feminine.

�Don�t you sometimes wish things could be different Alain?�

Alain shrugged his shoulders. �Not really...I like how things are right now. It�s no use thinking about how things could be different when they can�t be changed, Ethan.�

Alain didn't mind working hard to keep his brother in a safe home with a well stocked fridge. They had gone hungry too many times while their mother was alive.

"Alain...what are you thinking about? Are you mad at me?"

Alain gave a sad grin. "I was thinking of mom right now. I was thinking about how empty the refrigerator used to be and how hungry we were most of the time. She was too busy putting a needle in her arm and doing a trick to take care of us. But, I just can't hate her. Do you hate her Ethan?"

Ethan got off the bed and walked over to Alain. He placed his forehead on his brother's strong back. "I don't hate her. I miss her still...sometimes. She was sick and she didn't know what she was doing to us. I don't think she wanted to hurt us."

Alain remembered one day as they all sat down near a window to watch the rain. His mother telling them that it was God crying for the sad, unfortunate people in the world. Who was God crying for now? Alain wondered if God would cry for his little brother. A kid made fragile by a deadly virus given in revenge.

Their mother, Lily, a heroin addict was eventually infected with HIV. However, that didn�t stop her and her need for her fixes. She kept tricking and a condom wasn�t always used. Alain figured those men deserved what they got for being so fucking stupid. One day some guy must have figured out that Lily infected him. He had come over, furious, and she was too stoned to give a shit. She offered no apology.

Her words to the guy were these,�God punishes the wicked� and then she conked out into her heroin sleep.

The guy had seen us both in the little rat-infested basement where we were living and he chose Ethan as his target. He followed Ethan as he was walking home from school and grabbed him.

When the guy returned Ethan three days later after raping him and sticking him with dirty needles, he left a note. It said, �God punishes the wicked.�

The revenge was complete. When the clinic tested 12 year-old Ethan six months later, the results came back positive. Ethan started catching every cold around and didn't eat too much. The boy was stricken with fatigue and anemia most of the time. Lily was never the same after that incident. She started to do drugs more and more often. It was only two years after Ethan got diagnosed that Lily finally died of a drug over-dose.

Alain had been taking care of both Ethan and Lily at the time. He came home from his part-time job at the grocery store to find Lily dead in her bed with a needle stuck to her arm. He figured it was the best thing to happen to her. She was an unhappy woman who had death looming over her all the time.

However, Ethan was a different story. Alain didn�t want to give up on his brother. So, Alain begged to keep Ethan home with him. Alain was already over 18. It took a lot of fast-talking but he was allowed to get custody. According to the judge and the social worker, New Orleans was full of sad cases like Ethan. Most of them didn't have siblings or family. In this rare case, there was an older sibling who, if he followed proper procedures and worked hard, could continue his guardianship. There was a lot of paperwork to fill out and the county issued most of the HIV treatment. To be able to keep Ethan in the Medicaid system, with the free HIV drug program, they had to keep themselves at minimum poverty level. Any extra money they made had to be in cash or else Ethan could lose his medical assistance. But most of that was taken care of by his caseworker, Mr. Ash, a friendly man who looked out for Ethan and made sure all his medical needs were met.

But no matter what it was hard for Ethan to find a reason to smile. His childhood was cut short. Alain was determined to make things as easy as possible for his little brother.

There as no use thinking of all that, right now Alain could feel Ethan's body behind him. He turned to face his little brother.

"You're my brother. You've never been a burden to me."

Ethan smiled. "I guess I�m being stupid this morning. Get some rest Alain...you must be tired."

Alain placed his thumb across his brother's pale full lips. "Are you tired?"

Ethan could feel his heart beating. Wasn't this the real reason he had woken up today? Didn't that bed feel strange and empty in the morning without Alain? "No, I'm not tired."

"Good..." Alain said and bent down to kiss his brother. It wasn�t a brotherly kiss but a kiss of lovers. It was full and wet. Alain drove his tongue within those pale lips hungrily searching for Ethan's loving response. Alain opened Ethan's robe. It was a fire-red kimono style robe with the design of a peacock on the back. It had been a gift that Alain had given Ethan for Christmas.

Ethan moaned as he felt Alain's mouth on his neck, sucking hard, leaving bruises. He could feel his robe slide down his body.

Alain opened his eyes. They were standing in front of a long mirror that faced the balcony. Its reflection revealed the identical tattoo Alain had etched in dark ink on Ethan's pale body on his lower back. It was almost obscene to look at because of the boy's slim built and firm bubbly buttocks. A girl? A boy? Alain knew that it was hard for someone to be able to tell...it was all smooth, soft and beautiful.

"What do you want Ethan?" Alain whispered in his brother's ear. Alain always asked. He needed to know it was always what his brother wanted.

Ethan felt good in his brother�s arms. There was a time when he was so afraid. When he got infected he cried every night. He thought he would die. He spent every night in his brother's arms searching for assurance. He needed Alain's comfort. When their mother died things got worse. Then one night as the thunder crashed over their heads, it just happened. The comforting hugs turned to caresses and the kisses got more wet and intense. Ethan was able to tell Alain of his feelings. The need he was craving came out. Alain had wanted to fuck bareback. He wanted to show Ethan that they could live and die together. However, Ethan had refused. He had begged his brother to not do it. It wasn't a gift he wanted to give the person he loved the most.

It started that night. It happened just about every night.

"Yes...yes...Please Alain..." Ethan begged. He felt Alain's arms pick him up and take him to their bed.

Alain grabbed a condom and rolled it on his hard-on. It was 8 inches and throbbing. There was no trick ...no lover that made him this hard as his little brother. He didn't give a rat's ass if the kid had HIV. This was beyond that. Alain put a little lube on his latex covered cock. "How do you want it Ethan...?�

Ethan shook his head. He was trying to move the long dreads from his face. "I want it hard..." Ethan turned around and raised his ass. The boy parted his legs and kept his knees bent.

Alain licked his lips. His brother's asshole was visible and vulnerable. Alain fingered it and could feel it twitch around his finger. Ethan was definitely horny right now. Alain got up on his knees behind the boy. He grabbed his cock by the base. He rubbed his dick up and down the pink pucker. He could hear Ethan gasping. God, this felt fucking good. Just looking at Ethan's little asshole could make him want to come.

"You sure you�re ready for it...?"

Ethan�s fingers were digging into the mattress. "Come on Alain...don't tease my ass....please."

Alain grinned and with one thrust pushed into Ethan's ass. "Fuck...Fuck...yeah.�

Ethan was going to scream but he muffled it with a pillow. It was like being split in two. Alain's cock was thick. Ethan could feel every inch of that cock opening him up and fighting with his unwilling hole. Alain's balls were now up against his ass. It hurt. It hurt so much.

"You're a masochist Ethan...You know it hurts. You should let me use more lube. God damn...you're so tight baby." Alain held Ethan by the waist.

"No lube...you used some already. Come on...don't stop. You're in now so go on...Come on Alain."

"Ok baby...I will give that tight little ass of yours the pounding it's begging to have." Alain said. He reached over to the small alarm clock and turned up the volume on the radio. He didn't want the old lady downstairs to hear Ethan. Alain pulled back until his cock was out all the way.

Ethan gasped. But when the cock pushed open his sphincter and drove itself deep inside of his ass he screamed. Ethan reached down and grabbed his own cock which was hard. His pre-cum was dripping down. It would make a wet spot on the bed-sheet.

Alain licked the sweat above his lip. More sweat was starting to drip down his forehead. The room was fucking hot. Ethan wasn't kidding about the AC. The breeze from the open balcony window wasn't enough to cool the room down. Alain could hear the rain. It was still pouring.

He was going to ignore it all. Alain concentrated on the tightness that enveloped his cock and the boy he loved to fuck.

Ethan grunted and groaned. He gripped the sheets with every thrust. When Alain hit his prostate he bit the pillow so he wouldn�t scream out loud. They got into a steady rhythm.

Suddenly, Ethan opened his eyes and found a reason to smile.

The End

2003 (c) by Hephaestion

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