by Lynsey

Disclaimer: This story is totally and completely FICTION. It is not intended to represent reality in any way. In fact, I think Brian is brilliant, self-aware, considerate of both his fans and his friends, and in no way bitchy. That was merely a plot device in the service of the story, okay?

They were months into the European tour, and Stef and Steve had started to wonder if there would even be a Placebo when the tour was over. Brian seemed to be decompensating right before their eyes, and they felt helpless to do anything to prevent it. He had been with his new girlfriend for six months, and they were more serious than Stef had ever seen him. Stef liked her - that wasn't the problem. Thought she could be good for him even.

But with Brian, nothing was ever easy. At 27 he was already having his first midlife crisis, long before he'd even approached midlife. Precocity could be a curse as well as a blessing. Brian had gotten it into his head that it was time to grow up - which in itself might have been a good thing - except Brian, in his inimitable way, completely overdid it. Just as at 21 he'd delved headfirst into every excess of sex and drugs, now he threw himself into being his own idiosyncratic definition of mature. Which apparently was dull and boring and repressed. For months he'd eschewed anything but alcohol and cigarettes (which he considered for some reason to be mature vices) and had been completely heterosexually monogamous. He hadn't touched another boy, claimed to have no interest. 'I've outgrown all that,' he told Stef haughtily. It hurt Stef's feelings somehow, as if Brian was equating his being gay with immaturity. And Steve, who perhaps Brian was unconsciously trying to emulate, was surprisingly disappointed by Brian's transformation. Steve realized now how much he enjoyed Brian's flirting, knowing that Brian wanted him even if he had no intention of doing anything about it.

But the new, mature Brian was not only a bit dull - he was a raging bitch. The stress of denying his own nature took a significant toll, and Brian's suppressed anger and desire came out in tirades and snipes and snide comments. Directed at his fellow band mates, at fans, at interviewers, even in the middle of concerts. If he'd had a reputation for being difficult before, the press now painted Brian - and rightly so - as a total prick.

"What are we gonna do?" Steve asked in exasperation after Brian had just gotten into an altercation with a fan which ended with her slapping him across the face. Deservedly.

Stef pondered the question seriously before he answered. "I think I know what might snap him out of this," he finally confided. "But it's got to involve you too."

"Fine," Steve agreed, "Anything."

Stef smiled wryly. "Don't answer too quickly, Steve." He paused for emphasis. "I think what Brian really needs is a good spanking."

"A what???" But Stef was obviously serious. "He needs somebody to break through that goddamn wall he's built, to get to the emotions he's got all locked up, all the desires he's repressing. It's killing him!"

"It's killing ME!" Steve muttered disagreeably. "What about her?"

"I think she'd agree, actually. She loves him for who he is, she never wanted him to change like this. Besides, I think she's suffering for his temper even more than we are."

Stef and Steve turned back to the melee. Brian was still screaming in rage, his shocked fans backing away in confusion as he shouted at them. The band's lifeblood. The loyal consumers who came to their concerts and bought their music and debated their likes and dislikes and everything else endlessly on the B.S.H. website. To Stef and Steve, it was infuriating to see Brian disrespect them so blatantly. They were suddenly equally full of rage, but all of it was directed at their diminutive lead singer. Together they each grabbed an arm and pulled Brian out of the crowd before he did any more damage. Backstage and into the dressing room they had used before the concert. He was still shrieking, totally out of control, ranting about the fucking fans and how they don't know fucking anything about anything and why should he care about them anyway, and the smack of Stef's hand across his face silenced Brian mid sentence. For a moment Brian was too incredulous even to protest. Stef's rough slap had stung him, but even more it had shocked him. Stef and Steve, these were the two people he knew he could always push as far as he wanted, as far as he needed. The only people in the world he trusted to keep on loving him no matter how badly he behaved. Brian stumbled backwards as his two friends each grabbed one of his thin wrists and forced him against the dressing room wall. Before he realized what was happening, they had secured his hands to two of the clothes hooks that lined the walls, tying his wrists tightly with some sort of fabric. As they stepped back, Brian stared open-mouthed for a second, in shocked disbelief, and then his pent up rage that had been seeping out in fits and tantrums over the past months exploded in a tirade of screams and curses. He struggled frantically to free himself from the ties, his tiny thin body writhing in the tight black dress, stamping his feet and kicking at nothing as he fought.

Stef watched with some amusement as the little black mini-dress rode up Brian's thighs with his wriggling. He let himself appreciate Brian's thin but muscled legs under the leopard tights. It had been a long time since he'd thought of Brian that way, since he'd wanted to touch him like that. Brian had been exclusively straight for the past six months. And besides, he'd just been too bitchy. The strain of trying to be good was clearly taking a toll.

Steve watched too, surprised at how sexy he was finding this strange little intervention. He and Stef had been surprised when Brian put on a dress for the concert tonight. He'd been dressing decidedly butch (for Brian) for the whole tour so far. Brian had surely looked like a girl to him before - at least half the time in fact - and there had been many times when Steve had stared at those big green eyes and pink glossed lips appreciatively. But he'd almost forgotten how cute Brian looked in that little black dress and he had never seen Brian like this. Even when he was lonely and needy, Brian was always the star of Placebo. In some unspoken way, he always seemed to be in control. Now suddenly he wasn't - Brian the petulant bratty superstar was not in control at all - they were. And Brian was fighting it for real, pulling so hard against his bonds that his wrists were already an angry red and the muscles in his arms twitched with effort.

"Bri, if you can't be quiet, we'll have to teach you when to shut that pretty mouth of yours," Stef said very softly, but very seriously.

"Fuck you Stef, fuck you both," Brian spat breathlessly, big eyes cold as steel beneath the thick mascara lashes. "If you don't let me go right now, I swear I'll..."

Stef cut him off short with a strip of black material that he wound around his glossy mouth and tied snugly. For a few moments, Brian tried to curse them through the gag, then he gave up and just glared, his eloquent eyes searing them with his rage. He was panting. 'God,' thought Steve suddenly, 'he is so fucking pretty. Tied up like that in that skin tight little dress helpless for once.'

Stef put the leather crop in his hand with a smile, as though it were the most normal thing in the world to be doing on a Friday night in San Antonio. Steve was about to protest that he didn't think he could do it, that he'd never even done anything like this with a woman, let alone with a man, let alone with Brian - when he saw the look on Brian's face as he stared at Steve holding the little whip. Shock, disbelief and excitement. Undeniable excitement. Brian's black kholed eyes traveled from Steve to Stef, questioning, a little desperate. He gave a little incoherent cry, muffled behind the gag, halfway between what the hell are you doing and please do it.

Stef approached him slowly and reached up for one bound wrist. "Don't fight me Bri, you need this," he commanded softly. Before he freed Brian's hand, Stef ran one finger teasingly up Brian's raised arm, tracing the delicate muscle, relishing the baby soft skin, making gooseflesh. Brian didn't struggle as Stef unbound one hand, though he whimpered as Stef's fingers dug into his bruised flesh to undo the tight knot. Stef turned his small lean body around to face the wall, then unzipped the hip-length zipper on the back of the mini dress and slipped it off one shoulder. He reattached Brian's hand to a wall hook, pulling the fabric tight again so that Brian instinctively tried to pull away.

"Uh uh uh," Stef admonished, tying his wrist tighter. He slowly peeled the dress down as far as it would go while still anchored over Brian's other arm, exposing the delicate shoulder bones and strip of milky white skin of his back. Stef ran his hand possessively over Brian's bared side, then turned to Steve. "Feel this Steve," he said with a little smile, way more comfortable than the other man. But despite his discomfort, Steve didn't want to cop out. This band, these two friends, were his life. He wasn't going to let Brian fall apart and mess it up. If this was what Stef was so sure he needed, the catalyst that would snap Brian out of his self-imposed martyrdom. He moved to Brian slowly and tentatively ran his fingertips over Brian's slim shoulder and down his side, just getting to Brian's tiny waist before the dress was in his way.

"Hold him still while I get the other side off," Stef commanded, and Steve held Brian by the hips as Stef released his other hand briefly to slip the dress off his other shoulder. Brian struggled to turn his head, not really believing that Steve was touching him like this. Their eyes met as Stef tugged the dress down low on Brian's hips, leaving him naked above. The sight of Brian's pretty face behind the gag made Steve's breath catch in his chest, and he impulsively ran his hands up Brian's sides and over his back, marveling at how silky soft his pale, perfect skin was. Feeling his ribs, his hipbones distinctly. So skinny. Brian looked so fragile, so vulnerable, bound and gagged and half stripped, Steve couldn't deny his desire. Not sure what to do about it, he looked to Stef.

"Well," Stef urged him, seeing his hesitation, "Try out that lovely leather accessory I found us."

"Mmm?" said Brian from behind the cloth over his mouth, jerking his head around to catch Stef's eyes. Stef smiled at him sweetly, but gave him no reassurance.

"Where?" Steve asked uncertainly. Stef touched Brian's bare shoulder with one finger - lightly, but Brian jerked in anticipation of the pain, his entire body twitching and struggling at the contact. It looked so sexy that Steve swallowed his fear and embarrassment and slapped the whip down over the same spot, leaving a dull pink stripe on Brian's thin shoulder.

"Oh, that was good!" Stef exclaimed, "Just right!" As though Steve were practicing some important new skill with Stef as tutor. "Try it here."

He slid his hand across the small of Brian's back, met with more frantic struggling and groaned protest. Steve brought the leather down again, and this time Brian cried out against the gag.

Stef knew Brian's tender soft skin and fragile disposition wouldn't tolerate too much, so he moved them along quickly. "I know you wanna spank that gorgeous ass of his," Stef teased, tugging the dress down to Brian's ankles and leaving him wearing only the leopard velvet tights and black boots. Stef couldn't resist grabbing his ass, small but rounded and shapely as a girl's in stark contrast to his skinny torso and tiny waist. He stroked and massaged the yielding flesh for a minute, then reached around to run his fingers lightly over the front of Brian's tights, chuckling as he felt Brian's cock pressing stiffly against the velvet. Stef stroked him teasingly, leaning forward to nibble his bare shoulder, then his ear. "Let yourself go, Bri, you know you've been such a bad, bad girl, haven't you?"

Brian struggled, whimpering. Steve couldn't tell if it was with fear or excitement - or both. Stef stepped back and took the crop from Steve, gesturing to Brian's helpless form. "Try it like this for a while, instead of bare skin" he suggested in a totally normal voice. "He'll last longer this way." He didn't need to add, 'and we don't really want to hurt him.' It was understood between the three of them that they never would. So saying, Stef cracked the leather with more force than Steve had used across Brian's velvet covered ass. Then, without a pause for Brian to recover from the first blow, he slapped the backs of his thin thighs equally hard, then once again a resounding smack above. Brian thrashed wildly, cursing them again in smothered profanities. Stef grinned, pleased with the effect, and handed the crop back to Steve.

"No stopping now, just keep going until I tell you to stop. And do it hard Steve," Stef ordered. "And take your shirt off, you'll be able to move better."

Taking a deep breath, Steve slipped his shirt over his head and stepped behind Brian. The singer turned his head to stare at him, full of rage still, defiant. If he hadn't been gagged, he looked like he would have spit. That did it - Steve let the months of anger at Brian motivate him as he raised the whip and brought it down with force across Brian's ass. Gratified to see Brian's eyes go wide with shock and pain, his head whip around as Steve kept going, in a kind of unconscious rhythm, his slaps punctuated by Brian's muffled cries. At first Brian determinedly made no sound, did nothing to acknowledge the pain or the reason they were doing this. Merely played the martyr - poor misunderstood Brian, at the mercy of these madmen. Holding onto his righteous indignation.

"Harder, Steve," he heard Stef order, then felt the pain more acutely as Steve obeyed. "Harder, faster." Brian heard himself singing those same words - it seemed like long ago, that CD. He caught images between the bursts of white heat that flooded through him, incongruously gentle images of Steve's smile and protectively tender touches, of Stef's kisses. Suddenly, without warning, he felt tears threaten. He tried to fight them back, to remain emotionless and invulnerable, but Stef was watching him closely and had already seen his change of expression. He moved to Brian's side as Steve continued to slap him, and caught his chin in one hand, tipping his face.

"Give in, Brian," Stef urged, "Let it go." He ran a long finger up Brian's pointed jaw line, over the fabric gag, then stroked his flushed cheek gently. The tenderness undid him. Brian choked back the first sob, trembling, then stopped fighting his feelings in a rush of hot tears. His thin shoulders shook as he sobbed in rhythm with Steve's spanks, letting the physical pain free the emotional pain he'd been denying. Stef pushed the damp hair off his forehead as he cried, comforting him even as the leather still pushed him to feel more.

Watching him, Stef felt the months of anger drain away, the welcome protectiveness return. /Brian. Brian who needed him./ Stef put a hand on Steve's arm to stop the blows. He slid his hand slowly down Brian's bare, wet back and ran his fingers over his ass underneath the soft velvet. Brian whimpered, and Stef stroked his tear-streaked cheek with the other hand as he petted him, hurting him and exciting him at the same time. Brian's eyes were wide and desperate, pleading. He struggled to say Stef's name from behind the tight strip of fabric. Stef leaned in slowly and kissed him on the mouth, nibbling his bottom lip below the gag, teasing him.

"You did good, Bri," he crooned softly. "So good, baby." Stef turned to Steve.

Steve hadn't even realized how excited he was until Stef had suddenly grabbed his arm to stop him. It gradually dawned on him that Brian was sobbing. For a moment he was worried, concerned he'd really hurt him, but Stef was calm and even smiling a little. He untied the strip of material that had kept Brian quiet and tossed it aside. Steve waited for the volley of curses to start, expecting that shrill voice to be even more grating than when Brian was on one of his recent bitchy tirades. But to his surprise, Brian remained quiet, sniffling a little, his breathing still fast. Stef slid his hands down Brian's heaving sides, damp with sweat, and under the velvet tights, peeling them slowly down over his narrow hips. "Mmm, nice," Stef critiqued Steve's performance, admiring the uneven redness of Brian's ass and thighs. His skin

was feverish under Stef's cool hands, and his still-bound body jerked at the touch. Stef removed his boots and slipped the tights off, leaving Brian totally naked. He nodded to Steve. "You need to release him, if you think he's had enough. You need to be the one he submits to."

"But he already" Steve began, confused, when the meaning of Stef's words dawned on him. Steve hesitated, unsure. /Of course this is sexual, I knew that from the beginning but somehow I thought it wouldn't be me. I know Stef has done it with Brian before, I just thought./

"He needs to," Stef said seriously, and as if to corroborate the need Brian pulled against the ties.

"Please," he implored them, his girlish voice a sensual moan. Stef pulled Steve forward impatiently, grabbing his hand and placing it on Brian's reddened hips. Making Brian gasp. 'My God,' Steve thought, 'so hot, and so so soft.'

"Ask him if he's had enough," Stef commanded. Steve's voice was husky when he complied. "Have you had enough, Bri?"

For the first time, Brian turned his head to respond, and it was Steve's turn to gasp. Brian's mouth was slightly swollen from the gag, still pink and glossy. Cheeks streaked with tears, big eyes ringed with smudged kohl. No anger or defiance in the green, just pleading, submission. "Yes," he whispered. "Please."

Steve was suddenly overwhelmed by the desire to kiss him, to enfold Brian's fragile body in his strong arms and love him. He reached up to untie his hands, struggling with the tightened knots as Brian whimpered. Stef worked on the other until Brian was freed, then turned him to face them and stepped back. For a moment, Steve and Brian just stared at each other, amazed at the change in their relationship, the newly created intimacy. 'Fuck, what else is there to do?' Steve thought suddenly. 'What else but kiss this pretty boy whose ass I've just whipped. Who so desperately wants me nevertheless. Or because.'

So he did, tenderly, with Brian pressed tightly against his bare chest. Steve ran his hands down Brian's thin body, over his ass where the skin was still hot and sensitive, and Brian moaned and rubbed against him like a cat, his cock still hard against Steve's jeans. Brian's hands roamed over him in turn, his black nails running over Steve's back, up into his hair. Then down, slipping hungrily under the waistband of Steve's pants.

Steve was suddenly aware of Stef standing behind Brian, and he pulled back from the kiss, his cheeks blushing with embarrassment. Stef placed both hands on Brian's slim shoulders, holding Steve's gaze unflinching. Very serious.

"Do it Brian," he ordered, pushing Brian down to his knees. For a moment

Steve considered protesting, saying he didn't want to, but then he saw the look on Brian's face as he raised his eyes, asking for permission. Never had he seen Brian like this - just pure pleading. He begged with his beautiful big green eyes. Steve ran his hands gently through Brian's soft dark hair and nodded, not trusting his voice. He closed his eyes as Brian unzipped his jeans and tugged them down and off, and then he found out firsthand just how good Brian really was at this.

When Stef's voice cut through his blissful surrender to Brian's very capable mouth, Steve was annoyed. "Jesus, Stef, not now," he snapped as Stef pulled Brian off him despite the singer's plaintive protests.

"On the couch, Bri," Stef commanded, tugging the much smaller man by one arm roughly. Steve noticed that although Stef had to be hurting him, Brian complied instantly, obediently laying prone on the couch where Stef had pushed him. Arms outstretched, creamy white thighs parted, totally vulnerable. 'What a nice ass he has,' Steve thought, his own body throbbing harder at the sight, at the softly rounded curves still red and smarting.

"I'm gonna leave now," Stef said quietly. "You take him - it has to be you." When Steve hesitated, Stef raised his voice a little to emphasize. "Hurt him and make him love it." He pressed a tube into Steve's sweaty hand, then slipped out, locking the door behind him.

Steve didn't think he'd ever felt like this. So excited and so fearful at the same time. Taking a deep breath, he climbed on the couch beside Brian and ran his hand tenderly through his hair and down his narrow back. Feeling the delicate shoulder blades, tracing ribs down his slim sides, running gentle fingers over his visible hip bones. Brian moaned and rubbed against the couch, his lithe body tensing as Steve stroked his ass, feeling the feverish soft skin. When Steve moved lower to pet the insides of his slender reddened thighs, Brian spread his legs further, surrendering. Inviting. And suddenly Steve knew he could do it - wanted to do it. He fumbled with the lube Stef had left him, slicking himself then tossing it aside.

Steve didn't allow himself a pause to reconsider. Instead he mounted Brian forcefully, stabbing into him with determination. In spite of his willingness, Brian couldn't keep quiet - it had been a very long time since he'd allowed himself to be taken by a man, and his muscles tensed involuntarily, pain once again washing over him. Brian swore, clutching the cushions to keep himself still, but Steve was undeterred, sensing that the curses were not meant to stop him. He listened to Brian's groans as he pushed in and out. The sight of Brian's small hands clutching at the cushions, wrists angry bruised red, black nails chipped and decadent - the sight and sounds of Brian's surrender - excited him even more. Suddenly he realized he wanted more, wanted to savor this totally new and unfamiliar experience that was becoming so intensely pleasurable.

Biting his lip, Steve separated their sweat-dampened bodies, eliciting a

moaned protest from Brian beneath him. "Nooooo," he pleaded, "Please, please Steve, don't stop, please." Steve took him by his thin shoulders and tossed him over to his back with one strong movement. He leaned over to stare into that pretty little-girl face, those eloquent wide green eyes, pink wet mouth. Let Brian see the lust in his eyes. Brian flung his arms wide on the couch, making himself the personification of surrender, inviting crucifixion. Even the high pitched voice that sometimes grated on Steve's ears seemed like a perfect feminine purr when he pleaded again, eyes locked to the other man's.

"Fuck me, please fuck me more, Steve."

Steve couldn't resist his sensuous mouth then, pressing his lips to Brian's roughly. Kissing him hard and passionately. Feeling Brian eagerly take his tongue, pulling him in, inciting him to want more. Steve felt Brian's smooth supple thighs slide up his hips, offering himself again, needy and wanting. It was bliss to slip back inside him, so tight and hot, and Steve didn't hold back. He lifted his head and watched eagerly as Brian gasped with pain, then with fascination as the pain mixed with pleasure. Pleasure that he was giving him. Fucking him. Fucking Brian. It was so delicious Steve tried hard to make it last. So fucking beautiful. Brian writhed under him, arms still flung wide, fists clenched above his thin bruised wrists, cheeks flushed as he panted heavily. The big green eyes met Steve's for a long protracted moment, then rolled up in ecstacy, thick lashes sweeping upward in slow motion. He moaned like a cat in heat, his high pitched keening broken only by his begging. "Harder, faster, ooohhh" Steve both saw and felt Brian tense beneath him, around him, felt the hot spurts of cum coat their bellies, as he drove into Brian's spasming body again and again, until Brian was completely spent. Only then did he let himself come.

"Bri?" His eyes fluttered open, dark and soft under the thick lacquered lashes. He was still panting, his parted lips too tempting. Steve bent to kiss him gently. "You okay?"

Brian fixed him with a penetrating stare, as though he was believing for the first time that they had really made love. He groaned as their bodies slipped apart and Steve rolled half off him, one leg flung possessively over Brian's skinny thighs and a hand on his chest.

"Are you, Bri?" Steve repeated, needing to hear it even though he knew the answer. Knew Stef had been right. Maybe this was the only thing that could have shaken Brian out of his funk. Something truly unanticipated. 'I'll say,' Steve thought suddenly. 'Especially to me.'

"I can't believe you did that" Brian finally said, voice breathy and soft. Playful. The green eyes sparkled.

"Which that?" Steve countered, smiling at Brian's girlish coyness. He laughed then, his whole face brightening, and Steve realized that he hadn't seen that expression in a long time. "I can't believe you tied me up and whipped my ass!" he giggled, then grew serious. "And I can't believe you fucked me."

Steve ran the back of his hand over Brian's still-damp cheeks, wiping away the makeup that had run with his tears. /So pretty./ Brian caught his hand and brought it to his lips, kissing his palm, his fingertips. "Do you have any idea how badly I've wanted that?" he asked, his breath tickling Steve's fingers. "How many times I've dreamed that you took me like that?" He trailed off, slipping one finger in his mouth and running his tongue around it suggestively.

"I know, Bri, but you know I've never done that before," Steve answered.

"I know," Brian replied quickly, and his voice caught with feeling. "That's what makes it so special. It makes me feel like you, like I'm.." He stammered endearingly, cheeks blushing. Steve brushed a lock of black hair from his face. "You are special, Bri. You know you are. I can't stand seeing you like you've been. So unhappy."

"So bitchy you mean."

"That too. I miss the warmth between us, the playfulness. Why are you trying to hard to deny such a special part of who you are? What makes me" Steve paused a minute, letting Brian see his emotion. "What makes me love you, Bri."

Brian sniffled at that, big eyes watering again. When he tried to speak he only choked, then buried his face in Steve's chest, nuzzling against the bare skin. Steve slipped his arms around Brian's thin shoulders and pulled him tightly against him, enveloping Brian's frail body in his embrace.

"I love you too Steve," Brian murmured against him. "I always have. I'll be better, I promise."

Steve swept gentle hands down Brian's back, sliding over shoulders and ribs, down over his softly curving ass, already thinking about the next time. "I know you will, Bri," he said.