1. Teen Spirit (Not the Deodorant)

As of late Obi-Wan had been acting very strange.The typically serene boy had not only been becoming defiant and irritable, but had been holing himself for nearly days at a time with the most alarming sounds resounding through his door. When it was time for training and he knocked the door would slip open only a crack and a single long-lashed blue eye would peer out darting furtively from side to side.

Obi-Wan would sneak out in the dark of night returning early in the morning tired immediately retreating to the noise-filled room.

Qui-Gon suspected drug use and he believed as a responsible Jedi Master it was his duty to delve further into the matter.

2. Spock's Beard

The tall Jedi stumbled over to his silver bookshelf plucking an authoritative looking book from the fifth level. Dr. Spock's, "Caring For Your Jedi Padawan Learner". He scanned the chapter's finding a bit of advice on the handling of suspicious behavior.

He waited until nightfall when he heard the familiar click indicating the unknowing Padawan had left for the evening.

3. Pin-Ups

Qui-Gon went to his door realizing with a bit of shock that he had never ventured into this room. It lay a sort of mysticism over the entire shameful act. He flung it open dramatically flicking the lightswitch and the cave of mystery was flooded with light.

His bed was unmade, but besides that all looked well, if not impeccable. He discovered the source of the horrible noise immediately. Obi-Wan's music player was on his desk with various soundcards littered across the surface. He posses an inordinate amount of disks beginning with the word Velvet; most featuring genderless faces slathered with makeup. All such insolent noise. Noticing his padawan's musical interests he had once tried introducing him to his own favorite band: Al Herbert and the Tatooine Brass. It didn't go over well at all. Obi-Wan's beautiful eyes had widened and he fled most dramatically from the room.

He opened the desk drawer and more sparkle-dusted images revealed their epicene faces. Pictures of a nude blond man painted head to toe in glitter and little else: and orange haired waif in a pink and mint striped suit. Then more pictures of the same. In the margins of another picture of the two together were drawn several small sloppy hearts and scrawled were:
Zags+Obi=Love, then
Igs+Obi=Love, THEN
Igs+Zags+Obi=Love.
and so on and so forth to the point of excess. He looked again at the pictures with disapproval, and he swore he felt a tint of jealousy. He left the room missing the one picture at the bottom of the pile of himself worn from handling, scattered with words of adoration.

He fell into bed exhausted trying to handle the many revelations for the evening. Not only was Obi-Wan a typical idol-crazed teenager, something he never expected, but he also liked boys. In fact, he hadn't even been aware that his Padawan possessed a sex drive at all let alone a personality.

Hours later, the secretive click and his little lost Padawan had returned.

4. Personality Crisis

Qui-Gon sighed heavily realizing he would regret disturbing Obi-Wan. Once more, the eye appeared with the same hunted expression.

"It's time to train Obi-Wan."

The strains of a discordant violin and a very tired voice echoed from within.

"Do we have to Master?"

"Obi-Wan, what IS that horrible thing you're listening to?"

The smile that so rarely was seen flashed, "It's Martian in Furs by the Velvet Spacemine!"

Qui-Gon wrinkled his nose distastefully.

"We must train NOW Padawan!"

The yes rolled and he came out from his cave pouting, "Of course Master. Whenever is convenient for you. We'll just work around YOUR schedule."

"Don't give me that attitude young man! You have much to learn!"

This earned a fiery look from Obi-Wan who spun on his heels racing to his room yelling, "I hate you I hate you I hate YOU!" The door slammed and the music flared like open sore and an eruption of hooting and hollering played like a self-pitying orchestra.

Qui-Gon looked helpless clucking his tongue and grabbed his golf clubs humming a catchy Tom Jones tune under his breath, "Well, I guess I'll meet the guys to golf then." He grabbed his clubs and duffel and moseyed out the door whistling.

5. European Son

The Jedi masters gathered on the green leaning congenially on their golf clubs. Mace Windu swaggered over to the tee, checkered beanie slanted jauntily to the side. Putting his hands on his hips while bouncing on his toes he looked pleased with his shot. After he made a successful hole-in-one he grinned neighborly at Qui-Gon.

"So my friend, how are you?"

Qui-Gon concentrated on the tiny silver ball and club telekinetically putting it.

"Not too well I'm afraid."

Yoda interrupted with a harsh chuckles, "Distracted you are. Sandtrap you hit."

Mace grinned again, "Padawan troubles?"

Qui-Gon nervously kicked his spiked pom-pom golf boots. "Yes, I fear my Obi-Wan is changing. He's growing up and there is nothing I can do."

Yoda's ample ears perked at the mention of him, "Changing he is. Many Padawans. yeeeesssss."

Qui-Gon and Mace frowned at the cryptic statement. "What do you mean?"

Yoda whistled, "Padawans go out at nights. Late, laaate. Padawan boys go with Padawan boys. No Padawan girls. Seek their pleasures there.."

Windu raised an eyebrow, "What DOES he mean?"

Qui-Gon sighed, 'I think my Obi-Wan is gay."

Yoda nodded with a secretive, knowing smile.

Windu frowned again, "Why do you think that Qui?"

"Well, he has these pictures of these men in his room, lots of them. He's drawn hearts in the margins, and, well, words of endearment in the corner."

Mace adjusted his orange and purple Argyle socks and excused himself from the course visibly fuming.

"A homophobic man Windu is." Yoda said gravely. "But even his Padawan kissed Obi-Wan has."

Qui-Gon was confused again by his baffling wording, but was sure he didn't like what he was aiming at and he went to rescue his ball from the sand trap.

6. The Imploding Voice

The voice of Dr. Spock was brilliant and insightful. It had been his bible and guide for raising dear Obi-Wan from a very tender age.

H would follow Obi-Wan this evening to find out where he spent his nights. He was concerned for the young man he had watched grow up. A familiar jealousy invaded him and he tried to ignore it. Only last summer he and Obi-Wan had gone to Lake Sangafwaheizengreimer to fish.

He had seen more then of Obi-Wan's trademark maniacal laughter and toothpaste grin than he had in the past several months. His brilliant blue eyes sparkled against his heated golden skin as he stretched out on the docks next to the considerably taller Qui-Gon. He was a bit clumsy and still was, as most teenage boys are, his legs long tripping like a newborn colt. A warm prickly shudder coursed through the older Jedi's body. He prayed he could find out what was wrong. He would die without Obi-Wan beside him, more than an apprentice, even more than a son.

Their lives were in constant danger and he may be killed, and with each mission their separation became more eminent. What time they had together should be pure and true as the force itself.

He reached his soul to the brink seeing the dusty blue and beige of his apprentice's depression and isolation and his walls loomed high so no one single thought would be betrayed. He touched the wall with a spirit hand and bowed his head hopelessly. No entrance.