Excerpts from the "Building an Army of Normal" Instruction Manual
Case-Study Example No. 42: Lost Children Make Perfect Recruits
A little blonde boy screaming in the department store
(Mens' section, left of lingerie, one floor above cutlery)
for his mother.
Minutes, hours...

Over the PA a voice pleaded
"Please, would the parent or guardian
of this...delightful...young boy
please come pick him up from Lost and Found?"

Don't mistake it for pity or nurturing instincts
but I went to the counter
and told them he was
Mine.

Black velvet corduroy was my idea
but I wasn't to blame for the red shoes.
"No honey, but I know where she is.
Won't it be fun to ride in the trunk?"

Found a nice secluded place
down by the river- where there are no lights
and mushy, penetrable ground
taught him everything I knew.

Later that night I dumped him off at Returns
wrapped in cellophane
receipt for a juicer stapled to his red-taint forehead.
not dead, but eyes lolled just the same.

I giggled and drove away
waiting for the recruit to grow up, for all of them to grow up
to become soldiers in our army
to win the war of "Normal."
Note: Excersize restraint from completion activities until you are practicing with a non-recruit. The waste of a perfectly good recruit is punishable by class demonstration.
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