| YKYAAEVFI... |
| By Lyndsey L. |
| (You Know You Are An Eco-Villain Fan If...) |
| 1. You trip over barrels of toxic waste on the way to get the morning paper. 2. Your mom NEVER shuts up about �that damn mess in your room�. 3. Your car is your personal landfill. 4. Your cat, in desperation to find something to eat besides that dry crap, finds plastic an acceptable alternative to food. 5. You want to learn how to fly a chopper. 6. You want to buy a chopper, and paint leopard spots on the tailfin. 7. You cover the interior of your car in obnoxious wild animal-print slipcovers. 8. Burning gas is fun. 9. Whenever you see an old-growth tree, you sneer and think about how much paper potential is being wasted. 10. You get piss ass drunk, and at 2 in the morning go egg the houses of people in your school�s environmental club. 11. Your pet rat is happy sitting where he is on your shoulder. 12. Ponytails and business attire = fashion! 13. You try to program artificial intelligence. 14. You spam the Planeteer lovers on the CPC. (Heh.) 15. You sit back and wonder how naturally occurring elements in the earth such as oil and uranium can hurt Captain Planet. 16. You can draw a picture of your favorite villain from heart. (no pun intended) 17. Animals are good for clothes and meat. 18. You swim in a landfill like Scrooge McDuck. 19. You get arrested for underage drinking and trespassing, and also get suspended for the egging. 20. You don�t care. 21. You drive your Mom�s minivan as much as possible to pollute, but your Mom got pissed at you for wasting gas so she took away your Everquest account for a month. 22. You demand your boyfriend speak in an Australian accent on the days you dress up in business attire. 23. You draw pictures of Wheeler on fire. (Hehehehehe.) 24. You show your friends, and they recommend therapy. 25. You call your Mexican friend Ma-Ti. 26. You try and buy a coal-burning car, but the fees are too high if you don�t pass emissions testing every year. 27. You like having a bit of platinum-blond hair covering your left eye. 28. You claim to hate nature, because �something is either stinging or oozing mucus on you� and go watch some TV. 29. You LOVE driving into Atlanta in the evening, cause the smog really sets off the colors of the sunset. 30. Sometimes the tanning bed just doesn�t provide that extra dose of gamma that you need to start your day. 31. You have a �Nuke the Whales for Jesus� bumper sticker. 32. You really wish Captain Planet would effing lose once in a while. 33. Litter makes you smile. 34. You are enraged when someone calls you an �environmentalist� for watching CP. 35. You call your Russian friend �Linka�, even though he is about 6�2 and weighs about 213 pounds. 36. Your friend, offended that you called him such a stereotypical Russian name, gets pissed cause he�s really from Moldova. 37. You call him a �red communist pinko hippy�. 38. He responds by punching you. 39. You mutter an unflattering comment about the Cold War and leave. 40. Breathing in gas fumes at the gas station is hobby. 41. Or an addiction. (I do it for pollution, damnit!) 42. You laugh at the irony that Sting is a vegetarian. 43. You are charged with a felony for trying to torch the EPA�s office. 44. You call the Feds a bunch of �red communist pinko hippies� and steal their wallets. 45. They drop charges on reason of insanity. 46. You think Ma-Ti is a real wimp and doesn�t use his power to its full potential. 47. Your boyfriend would make a better Dr. Blight that you would. (L) 48. You look better in a business suit than your boyfriend. (Heh.) 49. Your co-workers draw the line at the rat-suits. 50. You rant and rave about why in the hell can�t you burn toxic waste on your own property. 51. You steal the EPA agent�s wallet and shove him into the dirt. 52. And call him a �red communist pinko hippy�. 53. For good measure. 54. You like animals�.to shoot! 55. You are horrified when you hear about endangered species dying off�you need to hurry and get one before they become extinct! |