Module 1: Friends

Booklet 'Just Friends'
Copy of a title page for the unit

On scrap pieces of paper, students are to brainstorm character traits and qualities of a good friend. List these on a white board.

Students select 5 of these traits, as the characteristics that they think are most important in a friendship.

Collect information on what they voted for. This will give us the characteristics of a friend that this class deems to be most important.

On the 'Five Top Qualities of a Friend' (p1), students are to rate themselves in each category on a scale of 1 to 10. The purpose of this self-assessment exercise is not to give each quality the same rating, but to identify perceived strengths and weaknesses in their interpersonal skills.

Bible Exposition

We compare our list of what we think is important, with what the bible considers important in a relationship

� Read together 1 John 4:7-12

7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.

1 John 4:7-12

� Students underline the words and phrases that describe love in the above passage.
� Discuss 'How do the qualities in a relationship compare with what our class considered important in relationships?'
� Exegete the passage in order to discover what John understood by 'love'.

v7 - love is an action we take but which God initiates.
v8 - Acting in unloving ways is rejecting Gods love for us.
v9 - Love is a sacrificial action; it gives freely to another.
v10 - When we love, we imitate God. God loves us, God loves others, we love others.
v11 - the more we understand God's love for us, the more we will desire to love others.
v12 - God reveals Himself in unexpected ways when we love.

This has so far been a discussion about love in general terms. What are some of the characteristics of this love that cause us to be better friends?

Proverbs 18:24 A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother.
Characteristic - Commitment
Ask: What are some specific ways to stick close to your friends?

1 Peter 2:17 Show proper respect to everyone: Love the brotherhood of believers, fear God. Honour the king.
Characteristic - Respect
Ask: In what ways can you show respect for a friend?

Proverbs 27:9 Perfume and incense bring joy to the heart, and the pleasantness of one's friend springs from his earnest counsel.
Characteristic - Communication
Ask: What are some examples of helpful conversations with your friends?

Proverbs 11:13 A gossip betrays a confidence, but a trustworthy person keeps a secret.
Characteristic - Trust
Ask: How good are you at keeping secrets? Why is hard sometimes?

Proverbs 27:6 Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.
Characteristic - Honesty
Ask: Why are honest wounds loving?

Philippians 2:4 Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.
Characteristic - Self-Giving
Ask: How can you practice being unselfish in your relationships.

Romans 12:10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honour one another above yourselves.
Characteristic - Honour
Ask: In what ways can one friend honour another?

Is one of these qualities lacking in one of your friendships? Can you commit yourself to making that quality a new part of the way you relate to people.
Often we expect friendships to happen to us when we ought to be making them happen in someone else's life. You can't make people be your friends, but no one can stop you being a friend to other people.

Close with the prayer of St Francis.

Prayer of St Francis

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace.
Where there is hatred let me sow love;
where there is injury, pardon;
where there is doubt, faith;
where there is despair, hope;
where there is darkness, light;
and where there is sadness, joy.

O Master, grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
to be understood as to understand;
to be loved as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive;
it is in pardoning that we are pardoned;
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
Amen