Senior Year : By senior year, all the books I've been reading have made me into quite a
writer. I felt induldging myself with culture was the only thing I had going for me. Suny,
someone who I have more in common with when it comes to pain than anyone else I've ever
met, showed me a place called AAI. I never had a reason to leave the house, so AAI was a
good excuse. There, I met many wonderful people. Big Mike and my rekindled friendship with
Tana, Suny and Linda, Tin, Leon Long, Christine, and a few Masterman kids were some of
them.

Everything was perky. My body mass was slightly growing since I've been eating healthy.

I've shut myself out from the world, and suddenly at AAI, people were acting so nicely.
It was like they were pulling me out from my void, and awakening me to a new world. I was
never a homophobe, but I always had an ill-conception that homosexuals were tight-wearing
fairies that danced and sprout joy and wonder to the world. Leon showed me that he wasn't
like that, and was sort of the anti-christ with his makeup and his spike arms. Chris, (or
Tin, which we called him that because he's actually a fusion between Minh and Tang) taught
me art from a anime/game freak. Granted, I was always a anime/game freak from the start,
but I never noticed the artwork until I met him. Big Mike became a great friend to me.
Finally, there was a little pinko by the name of Christine.

I've always been finding ways to lash out against the world for what Ray-Ray did to me. I
often resorted to pranks and fist-fights. Christine was an open target for me, since I
learned she was sister to my friend Gary. I always flirted with everybody. I was a playboy
since 6th grade, thanks to parties. But, I'd always back down or end it before anything
got remotely serious. Well, apparently, my flirting worked on her, which was all falling
into plan. My goal was to taunt Christine around Gary, and laugh heartlessly in the end.
And I told Holly.

The Trio of girls knew my intentions. They knew what I was doing was wrong. But I didn't
care. December 14th, I went out with Christine. Everything was going according to plan.
Holly knew my repulation with girls. I'd always be the one who broke up with them.

It was a month into the relationship, longest I've ever been in. I finally admitted to her
one day. I told her my intentions, and exactly what I was doing with her.
I wanted her to say, "That was you were doing?! FUCK OFF!" I wanted her to scold
me. I wanted her to lash out on me, and just beat me senseless. I wanted HER to break up
with me. We were sitting on a park bench when I told her. I remember that she said she
didn't care, and she dropped her head on my shoulder. And I never forgave her for that.

Honestly, the only reason I could think of at the time not to break up with her, besides
having the Trio look at me with disgust, was because suddenly, I started to know
Christine. I started to know the quirky side of her. I even accepted pinkos around my
life. But, there was something that really kept me with her; Christine didn't have many
friends. I didn't want to be like the people that didn't catch me when I fell. I didn't
want to be like them.

All I was wondering was what I got myself into. I've never been in a long-term
relationship. Marines always plan ahead. So I planned ahead. I started building a
foundation to fall back onto. I had to break up with Christine sooner or later, but
everything must be in motion. I spent most of my energy into Big Mike and Tana, while
keeping a nice distance from Christine. Everything was arriving at it's climax, when I
finally got Leon and Christine back together. she had a friend to lean back on, and I was
prepared to finally break up with her.

And I practiced. I practiced and I practiced and I practiced. And I practiced and
practiced and practiced. And I practiced and practiced. And practiced.June 12th, 2004.

It was the final day of the Saturday Program. Christine and I were at the
bank to get our well-deserved money. I rehearsed the lines in my head a billion times, but
this wasn't the place. I drew a picture of Della on my bank book. Della showed prowness,
no fear, and was shitloads full of insanity. I wrote on my book, "How do you feel?" to
Christine. She smiled at me and gave me a thumbs up. Then I wrote, "About me?"

And that was that. Christine was finally off my back. The world was a fuckin' thunderstorm
of good times. I still had a spotless record of not ever being dumped. I would return to
my studies, and ship off to the Marines by the Fall. And my life, as lost as it was, was
slightly less lost than before.

During the summer, my view of the marines have changed. They were no longer the romantic
heroes of the war in my eyes. Every Marine I knew that came back returned with a hard-on
for wild sex. That isn't me. If that what a Marine is now, then I can never be one. I'm
sorry everybody. I cannot be a Marine if it meant I would be like that.

The Untold Story
During the Summer, Mary and Kirsten had managed to unravel me. I told them about myself,
about my dating life. That's when they looked at me with digust. Those faces that I didn't
want Holly, or Gina or Jen to look at me with. They looked at me like that when I told
them about Christine. "What the fuck are you talking about? My life is fine!" Suddenly, as
they continued to preach about women and me, all of those memories I tried so hard to
forget started spilling inside of me. I went up to Kensington to talk to Christine. She
dumped me then and there.