August 2002

August 29, 2002 || 5:42 pm       I am very very busy lately. I seldom visit my journal and I really have NO TIME in updating it. I promised myself that I am going to include here not only the heartaches but as well as some GOOD news about myself as well. Well, so far I am very much into sports. I joined the Badminton tournament at APC. The schedule of the games will be on September 7. Then I will take part in the ACOES volleyball wherein they are competing in the RSO Sportsfest. Then there is my thesis. Lagi na lang akong napapagalitan ng Adviser ko kasi medyo delayed na ng konti ang ginagawa ko. I really have to set my priorities. I should take one step at a time. Mahirap pala ang paliko liko. Nagiging walang direction ang tinatahak kong landas. Paano na kaya ako tataba nito? Pero I gained some weight. Sana tuloy tuloy na. Wala na sanang bagyong dumaan sa buhay ko. Not now. Baka bumagsak na naman ako at baka by this time di na ako makabangon. By the way, CONGRATULATIONS po sa ACOES Volleyball Women. They won their first game against PC-AdU. Straight sets pa... Sana manalo sila ulit.

About my classes? Konting ayos lang. Perhaps I have taught my students some lessons not on the subject but the values of being a follower. Perhaps I made my point already and I don't regret what I have felt about them.

August 23, 2002 || 7:03 pm       It happend again today. Why is it so hard for them to accept their mistake? I would not get mad only if they have accepted their fault. I never made a fool of anyone in front of my class. I may be the most understanding person in the world but you are testing my patience. I really thank GOD for giving me so much of that virtue. But not all the time I will have the patience to accept and just pretend that I don't care of what you do. In case you don't realize, the classroom is your training in preparing you to become what our University is all about.

August 23, 2002 || 1:25 pm       Is there something wrong with me? Is it bad to think of having a relationship and set your goals to last it forever? If you are setting your relationship on the present and not for the future, what's the use of having a relationship in the first place? I have a different idea on having a relationship and I know by doing so it makes me more comfortable to hold on to that relationship. Because I really would like to invest to that person. Right now finding the right person to accept my ideology would be hard. Perhaps my mentality about having a relationship does not apply only to every people I met. I have learned my lessons already and it made me a stronger person. Begging is not in my vocabulary anymore.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAM LIZA!!! May you have more birthdays to come. May God give you ABUNDANCE in LIFE and my only wish for you is to have a LONG LASTING HAPPINESS...

August 22, 2002 || 4:22 pm       More than anything in this world, loving someone is the next thing I would do for now but perhaps finding the right person is another story. Right now I have concentrated my ideals on my profession. My master's is one for sure I have to get on with and I set my mind that I will definitely have to finish it this semester.

My life in Adamson is full of challenges. I was tasked to hold some responsibilities but I can't take any actions on them. They wanted to move on thier own without my knowledge and they acted as if I don't exist except when they need my signature. Anyway, it is not my great lose if they don't want my presence in thier decisions.

Right after I went to baguio with the Graduating Class, I recieved an SMS from her. I guess I had to be rude to my replies because it is not really helping me at all. I really wanted to move on with my life and perhaps this is the best way to get rid of her. That person do not deserve my kindness and goodness. I know God will forgive me for what I have done to that person because I guess that person deserves to be treated that way.

August 15, 2002 || 3:37 pm       I was touched by your gestures. I am an emotional person and in fact I cant hold the tears flowing down my cheeks upon reading your emails. I was surprised to know that you have admitted your actions. And I really thank GOD that HE gave me so much kindness and patience and I am very much proud that I have that virtue. I am ok now and I am very much grateful for you asking sorry. Indeed I admire people with such courage to do that. At least we all learned our lesson from this incident...

August 14, 2002 || 12:20 pm       Bakit ganon? Ang alam ko mabait naman ako... Bakit nila ako ginagalit? Ano ba ang nagawa ko sa kanila? Kung wala silang interest sa klase ko hindi ko naman sila pinipilit na pumasok. Hindi naman para sa akin ang oral report nila. Para sa kanila naman iyon. Tapos pag bumagsak sila sa klase ko, ako na naman ang may kasalanan kasi mahirap ang exam na ibinibigay ko. Sinabi ko na sa orientation pa lang ng klase na kung may gagawin sila sa ibang klase nila huwag na silang pumasok kasi INSULTO sa Instructor nila yon. Pero bakit hindi nila ako pinakinggan? Kung sa ibang Guro ok yon sa akin di po ok yun. Baliktarin kaya ang situation? Ano kaya ang mararamdaman nila? Sana......

August 11, 2002 || 1:25 pm       Last night I spent the entire evening wondering why my students asked me questions that I can bravely answer back. Was it intentional? Was it another test whether I am not affected at all? In any manner the way they asked me questions, makes me wonder I am comfortable now? Well I think I am more vocal about it. I can answer back every inch of their questions of what really happened. It is only a matter of time healing a broken heart. Perhaps with the way I handle life now will make me a better person always looking on the bright side. Yes, a very good friend told me this time I have to love myself more than anything in this world. I have given so much LOVE to others and neglect myself. But this time I have learned my lesson. Now, I can spoil myself. I can do anything I want without being paranoid. I can go to places I have never been before, I can eat to restaurants all by myself, meet new faces, explore new horizons of finding more friends, I can conduct sports activities and have more active lifestyle. I will try to grab all opportunities that may come a long and show myself that I can be successful. Thank GOD, HE never allowed me to lose my life. Only HE showed kindness and compassion that I have great life ahead. The person is not worth dying for...

August 7, 2002 || 11:45 pm       Ang tagal ko ng di naa update ang journal ko. Ang dami palang nakakabasa nito. Ang buong akala ko siya lang ang nagbabasa nito. Nahihiya tuloy ako sa mga students ko. Kasi dito ko lang na express ang aking sama ng loob. Alam kong masyadong makapagdamdamin ang nilalaman nito pero yun ang nasa kalooban ko. Minsan nga ang buong akala ko may mga kaibigan akong tunay yun pala mga hilaw. Pasensya na kayo kong ang nababasa niyo rito ay puro hinagpis. hayaan niyo malapit na rin ako mag celebrate. HINDI birthday kundi ang pagtatapos ko ng aking masteral. Sana nga po ako ay mabibiyayaan ng Maykapal ng isang matiwasay na defense para matapos na ang aking mithiin sa buhay.

Kung tungkol sa pagibig, di ko naman pinagwalang bahala ngunit kailangan ko munang tingnan ang aking sarili upang sa gayon ay magkaroon ako ng katahimikan. Salamat po sa lahat ng mga tumulong sa preparation para sa General Assembly ng ACOES. Naway pagpalain kayo at humayo't magpakarami...

HOME         JOURNALS