| Well suddenly things don't seem right anymore...I mean i don't get it but i guess thats life! When u want something or expect something to happen it never happens, its the total opposite. You can never bestow something that you want so bad cuz that's a so called "sin". Well as for me, my life, and in general its totally contradictory...by that i mean i do stuff andhope that it comes true or hope it happens and sometimes even pray but it never does=(...so sad but true. I find my way through music lots of it! All genres from rap to country, and of course alternative is in between, its the fulcrum! Things didn't make sense right from the start...they say when ur born thats ur high point and then after ur born right after u come out of ur mothers stomach and get wrapped around in a towel and everything goes down hill...EVERYTHING! A very special friend of mine died not too long ago and she will always be remembered ALWAYS...angie i love you and you will always be in my heart and soul, watch over me now, R.I.P.! well as for me and anyone else that is reading this...your born and you die what ever happens in between is up to you! You make ur life and future out the way you want it to be... and by that i mean don't set too far ahead ambitions cuz they never stick. So many choices to make at once and not enough time to contemplate about them. My future is just on the way and i really dont want to grow up or old. If i had one wish it would be to wish for infinite wishes of course but one true wish would be to stay 25 FOREVER! I get scared to think about the future were im gonna be when i die and where im gonna end up...if there really is a heaven or hell? We will never know untill we die. Your deity, fate, faith, gamble, or whatever you rely on as a source of religion is just a refugee. I do believ there is a god, dont go to church but i do believe in god...does that make me a bad person? i really dont think so=)! Anywho who knows what GOD or whatever it is has planned out for me...i try to be a good. Key word TRY!;-) well i doubt that any one know exactly how i feel...cuz for one UR NOT ME! I hate it when people say i know what ur going through...they may have experienced the scenario but everyone takes it differently; thats what makes up human beings. all i need is a friend, i hate being alone and i actually encounter being alone alot...im a people kinda person. sometimes i can let loose and be the m.c. and most of the times i can be a reall P$@*y<gee i wonder what that means=)>. i am shy though, that something that i can admitt to; i can't just walk up to a gurl and start talking to her like most guys do i guess i lack the looks but what i cant understand and till this day is how can a guy like 5 times my mass and weight can hook up with a hot blonde and i can't? i dont get it and guess will never either...but as for me i like to party and hang out with my friends, i don't like to go everywhere like being the so called "town bicycle" and gain status. I kinda like to be kept anonymus to people cuz some people are just plain IDIOTS! guys and gurls of all ages. Just go for it, my friends say and mentors of mine through out my life have just told me to go for it i mean "whats the worst she can say...no?" come on im usually use to rejection so its not that i presume...it got to be an embarassment. If someone knew everything to every possilbe solution, honestly and rationally it would hurt! Come on no one will ever know EVERYTHING! I doubt anyone wants to. I love music and a die hard fan of it and its also my release of built up deep inside of me...its just a matter of letting go and just "who gives a fuck throwing everythihng out the widow, screaming at the top of your lungs" type of release. i come to the conclusion on my theory that "MOST GURLS ARE DOUCHE BAGS". Y is that you say is cuz everytime i make a date or try to hook up with a gurl she either stands me up or just doesn't want to call me...that sucks ass! y me what did i do. nothing but just that they are little manipulative little lying deiceitful douche bags!!! im sure im not the one in a million guy thats experienced it before. i mean like gurls and all but fuck the relationship im in for a good booty call and the reason i say that is i've come to terms that aphrodite hasn't yet thrown me in the pit for deepness. things are going well i guess and should continue too, i hope! well im getting tired now so i guess i will stop for now if you ever want to chat or got something on ur mind its not an anwser your looking for but a listener! |
