| If I ever write the story of my life Don't be surprised if you're where it begins... He bumped into me at a hockey game. That's how I met him. The second his eyes met mine... Call me old-fashioned, call me sappy, but something happened. Everything from the second he commented on the 72 on the back of my Penguins jersey to the second he walked away from me seem like a blur. We always bumped into each other, at the most random times and places. I can't even begin to explain why he was sitting outside the restaurant that I always rollerbladed past at three in the afternoon every Thursday. Neither one of us can. He claims it was because he wanted Mexican food; the only Mexican food he ever ate was Taco Bell and Chi-Chi's wasn't exactly Taco Bell. I still suspect that he was stalking me. Although he'll never admit that. I'd have to dedicate every line on every page To the memories we made while you loved me... I'm not sure how we decided to start dating. One day, he tells me he got sick of trying to find me at hockey games and he just suggested that we buy our tickets for the next game together. And maybe we could go for dinner somewhere after the game, and go back to his house to watch a movie. Thus, our first date. Normal people are nervous on their first date with someone new. I was petrified. I had never been so scared to see his Pontiac pull in my driveway to pick me up in my life. I almost didn't want him to show up. But after thinking about it for a few seconds, I did want him to show up. Then I didn't. Then I did. Then I wanted to call him and meet him there. Then his car pulled in my driveway. And I tripped over my own feet and nearly broke my ankle thanks to my ever-so-graceful pacing. I had one helluva time hobbling down to our third-row seats. How he got seats that close is beyond me. I was born the day you kissed me... Just to clarify, that man is one helluva kisser. To be completely honest, he's the best kisser that has ever pressed their lips against mine. And I've been kissed by my share of men. But him... It makes my knees weak just to think about it. The first time he ever kissed me was that night at about five seconds after midnight. Did I mention that that night was New Years Eve? Yeah, it was New Years Eve. We were sitting alone, on his couch, watching TV after the hockey game. We watched the Ball drop on ABC with Dick Clark, counted from ten to Happy New Year... and about five seconds later, he looked over at me, smiled and shrugged, leaned over and kissed me. Okay, so it wasn't exactly a kiss of any substance. It was more or less a peck on the lips. And it was just a New Years Kiss. Pretty much nothing. But he still kissed me and I still didn't expect it. Our first Kiss-kiss was the day after. We were bored, so we decided to go to the movies with one of our friends. The freakin movie was three hours long, and I ended up falling asleep about two-thirds of the way through it. On his shoulder. I'm pretty sure he didn't care, his arm was either around my shoulders or he was playing with my fingers while I was awake. Our friend had to drop him off at home before me, and I was sitting in the backseat of the car and when he got out, so did I, to switch seats. He hugged me, and said that he had a great time that night. He backed away slightly and smiled at me. The next thing I knew, his lips were on mine, my head was spinning and my knees turned into wet spaghetti. I will never forget that kiss for as long as I live. And I died inside the night you left me... We argued. Like any couple, we had our disagreements. It wasn't because of a disagreement that we broke up. We simply drifted apart. He had to go to college an hour away from where I was going to college, and neither one of us decided that the distance was even remotely fair to our relationship, so we decided to be "just friends." Let me tell you, it has never been so hard to be friends with someone. It stung. It really, really stung. I still had feelings for him, and I know he had feelings for me. But the real problem was that we kept on denying the feelings we had for each other for so long, that they just kind of disappeared one day. For him, anyway. Do I have feelings for him, you ask? To be honest... Yes. But I tried to get over him. I really did. I swear. I can't tell you how many times I've gone out with other guys and the only person on my mind was him. I know that it's not fair to whoever I'm going out with, so I break whatever I have off with them. I know that I've thrown away quite a few really good relationships because of something I couldn't control. But I can't help it. I really can't. He's the first thing I think of every day and the last thing I think of before I drift off to sleep. Maybe one day we'll be together. Maybe one day I'll get over him. But until something happens, I'll continue to be his friend. As painful as it might be. But I lived, oh how I lived While you loved me... |
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