Little_Lost

Little Lost Girl

By L.L.N. Dickey

�� People say when you die you go to heaven or hell or maybe even that inbetween place, I think they called it purgatory but I'm not sure.� People even say that when you die you arent exactly what you were when you were alive, that you become something completely different.� Of course, me still being a child I didn't quite get what all that stuff meant, nor did I care.� Maybe I should have, maybe my mind is finally aging, or maybe I just think too much, not like I really have much else to do around here.� From the look on your face I'd say I've lost you my dear, dear audience, well that is easy enough to remedy.� Let me take you to the beginning.

�� For starters you people have no idea what death is really like, sure I guess there is a heaven and hell, heh there is probably a purgatory somewhere out there, but this sure as hell isnt it.� No this is a very different, very special place, a place that you couldn't describe in your wildest dream or nightmare.� No my friend this place where I now exsist is something that is so very different from anything that you have ever believed in or will believe in, but I digress.� I'll explain more at a latter time for now though I wish to explain myself, who I am and where I come from and how I am coming to talk to you now.

�� I came into my existance for the very first time on the eighth of December in the year 1829.� My mother named me Sarah Maria, the Poe came from my father.� As I was at the tender age of 2, my mother was with child again and becoming more ill with each passing day until she went into childbirth, from which she never left as she died moments after my dear brother Allen was born.� Heh, you will have to excuse my laugh for I am a bit surprised that I can remember all of these things after all it has been a good while since any of this happened to me, but once again I disgress.� My father, being left with two very young children to support did the only thing he could think of, he took us and moved in with an aunt of his.� This is how we lived, him going of to work for weeks at a time and our aging aunt being left to care for my dear brother and myself.� Atleast that's how it was until my father found another woman to take our mother's place.

�� I cannot remember my stepmother's name or rather I don't care to, never really like that woman.� I never gave her much of a chance but from the way she treated Allen and myself I believe it is fair to say that she really didn't care much to have a chance to be civil with us.� As I grew to the age of nine I began to notice that though my father's new wife had much contempt in her heart for us it was very clear to me that the older I got the more of that contempt rested upon my shoulders.� In some ways I was glad of this, for if she was busy being hateful to me then she did not have the time to concern herself with my dear Allen, but I still wanted to understand why she disliked me so.� This idea was ever present in my mind until I unwittingly stumbled upon an old photograph of my mother and discovered that I boar an uncanny resemblance to her and considering that this picture was lying with my stepmother's things it only made since that this fact probably directly effected her affections towards myself, nor did the fact that my father was still deeply in love with my mother for that matter.

�� For a short while things leveled out to some sort of stable line of affection better my stepmother, my brother and myself, atleast until my father begain to stay away from home for longer periods of time leaving us in the spiteful woman's
care longer that either of us could dare to imagion beginning to care for.� Things did not appear to get any worse in the beginning, in fact Allen and myself begain to let our guards down just a bit, thinking to ourselves that maybe we were being too defensive towards her.� Then my precious Allen became deathly ill without warning.� The doctors came one by one and one by one they shook their head in confusion as to what was wrong with him, no one knew, even the priests that gave their prayers had no hopes of him getting better or any ideas as to what was happening to him.� My father returned home only to lock himself in his study in mourning for my brother as if he was not still alive, I guess in my father's eyes he wasn't anymore, seemed to be the same for everyone else as well.� I, on the other hand, was not about to give up so easily.� I wouldn't not rest until I found a cause to my siblings suffering.� I swore that even if it cost me my own life I would save my Allen, and I did not have long to wait to find my cause, nor did I have any idea of just how right I was about the price of saving him.

�� It was the eve of October 30th in the year 1842 and the last doctor was taking his leave for the night as my stepmother showed him to the door.� I sat near the fireplace unseen by either and watched quietly.� The tired doctor turned to her as he proceeded to dawn his coat and top hat, and began appologizing for how inaffective he and his many colleges had been in assisting the heath of her son.� The woman gave him a parcial smile and opened then door, "How very kind of you sir, but he is not my son but my husbands, and do not dread this for this is probably just the had of God at work for his ways are not for us to question."

�� "I agree, I just pray that the young lad shall not have to suffer in such agony for much longer," the doctor sighed and exited, "Good night madam."

�� "Good night dear sir," she returned and closed the door then mumbled to herself, "and do not worry yourself, the boy will not suffer very much longer for it is almost done."� Then she walked back to her private study.� I could hardly believe my ears at hearing this.� Could it posibly be that this witch of a woman was making my brother sick?� Even with all my distrust of my stepmother I found myself struggling to accept what my very own ears heard, yet I had to believe it, this demoness spoke it with her own lips.� But I needed more, I needed to know what she was doing to Allen as well as how.� I know what you are thinking, why didn't I go to my father, and you have to understand my father was never quite the same after my mother died so talking to him about anything was a complete waste of energy.� Whatever there was to do to save my brother I was going to have to do it on my own.� So as soon as I thought that my stepmother was settled into her study for long enough I gathered my courage and crept back to her door as quietly as I could manage.� I looked at the floor just under her door and there was this erie crimson light pouring from under it sending chills throughout my whole being, but in spite of my fear I leaned closer to the door.� I could barely make out her mumblings but it sounded as if she was talking to someone, or rather to herself, atleast that is what I made of it until I heard an ungodly voice respond to her.� Whatever terror I had managed to supress to that point came dangeriously close to boiling over into a small scream in my throat, but I mantained my composure, God only knows how I did it but I did.� I never managed to make out anything that was said and I grew more and more weary of being caught my tormentor so I retired to my room to formulate a plan.� What I resolved to do was investigate my stepmother's doings while she went out on her errands, I would awake early and enter her lair to see for myself what witchcraft she was tampering with.

�� Like clockwork she awoke at six-o-clock that morning to begin to prepare herself for running errands to see the doctors that had tended to my brother to pay them and ask the priests to continue to place dear Allen in their loving prayers to our mighty God.� In other words she was going to keep herself from falling into suspicion, and I, who had been awake before sunrise, waited for her departure.� As I watched her leave our home from my window I knew my chance had arrived and jumped into action.

�� I made my way to my stepmother's study and said a short prayer asking that the door be open, I knew it was because the key was lost by my mother before her death and the only way to lock it was from the inside and my father had been to preoccupied to change it at the request of my stepmother, after all, my father assured her, no one would enter the study without her permission, no one under his roof was so rude as to do this, but still I had this fear that maybe she'd found away to lock it on her own.� As I twisted the handle and the door cracked open I sighed in relief and entered making sure to close the door behind me.� I turned to gaze at the room and could not believe the image I was beholding.� Everywhere I looked were strange items of the occult, not the likes of which I had ever seen before or even heard of for that mater.� I had some sort of knowledge of some of the things from other strange religion for my aunt that we once lived with had an old colored woman for a maid and she showed me some of the things in voodoo, but even so I had never seen anything of this sort before.� I could remember the old maid telling me that some things even she did not because there where magics and powers that no one was ever ment to fool with let alone understand, but there were some people fool enough to try and those people where very deadly to make enemies of.� Could my father's new wife be one of those people, could she be using some sort of magic or curse to hurt my brother?� If so why did she not use them on me as well?

�� Of all the things she kept in the room one thing in particular caught my eye.� It appeared to be an alter of some sort.� I, through no control of my own made my way over to investigate its contents.� When I was close enough to actually make out what some of the items around it were I noticed a book that had a slip of paper with writing on it.� As I read the paper I realized it was some sort of translation and it obviously was about the alter I stood infront of.� I knew I did not have much time remaining before my stepmother would return but still I continued reading then I saw just what I came for.� This ritual took a while to complete but if it was not finished by the last day the spell would reverse and the affected would recover as if nothing happened to them.� I smiled and realized that my prayers were answered then turned to the alter and processed to destroy it believing that it was finally over that I had stopped the wreached woman from obtaining her goal.� The only emotions I knew that moment were ones of joy and relief, but then heard the door open.

�� "You evil little witch," I heard my stepmother mumble.� She'd returned much sooner than I have expected or I had spent too much time in awe of her study, but either way it did not make much difference to me for I thought myself her victor.� "You have ruined my work, I should have killed you to begin with."

�� "Why did you not then?" I asked smuggly.

�� "Why you...," she begain to shake alittle with her building rage then she stopped and smirked.� "Well if you must know I did try, you just appeared to be too strong willed to fall to the trap I set for you and your brother.� A pity really, for when I am done with you little girl, you will wish that you could have shared the fate I was planning for you brother, for he would have felt no pain in the whole time he lay at death's door like you will before this night it through."

�� "You lie, I defected you..."

�� "Only in my acts against your dear Allen for the moment.� You have no concept in that head of yours that could possibly imagine what you will face, and before you begin you know as well as I that your father is no more than a snivelling dog and would not even acknowledge you speaking to him let alone believe anything you may tell him.� Now if you'll excuse yourself from my study I may even consider a lesser punishment, maybe I'll even make it quick."

�� I stood infront of her in defiance for only a moment longer but I believe it was enough to make my point.� As I walked past her I comment, "You do realize I will come back for you," and proceeded to my room where I remained until much later that day when I could hear the sound of shocked doctors coming from Allen's room.� I rushed to his bedroom door and pushed past all the men standing in my way to see my sweet little brother sitting in his bed looking a bit confused as to all the fuss being made over him.� My father sat next to his bed smiling like I had never seen him smile before.� I slowly backed up exited the area for fear of being smothered by all the doctors moving about like bees from a beehive, and waited paciently outside of the door until they all including my father, retired to our den to discuss my brother's miraculous recovery.� Seeing my chance I went into his room, greeted by a enormous smile upon his rosy face.� "I was wondering where you were sister, those men were starting to become a nuisance."� I only smiled at him in response.� "What is wrong with you Sarah?� You looked troubled.� They tell me I was sick but I do not remember it."

�� I sat myself at the foot of his bed trying to keep myself from looking worried, "You where very sick for a long time, the doctors did not know if you would ever become better, but you are so there is nothing to worry about anymore."

�� He looked at me with a puzzled glance, "All I remember is going to sleep Sarah, then I wake up and all these doctors and all over the place."� He paused then looked down at his hands nervously, "Then there was a dream..."

�� "What dream?"

�� "It was more like a nightmare really.� It was you and that woman father married, and some being in the shadows.� I think it was a woman but I am not sure,� I'm forgetting more and more of it even as I tell you, but I do know that you died in my dream.� This lady dressed all in blue showed it to me..."

�� I just sat there not sure how to even respond to him.� Could our stepmother really make good on her threat to me?� Rather how could my Allen have seen what he claimed to have, it was just a dream yet somehow I knew it was more.� "You...you...are lying to me Allen."� He looked up at me as if to say how dare you tell me that.� "You remember more than you told me, I know it.� Why are you trying to protect me?"

�� Allen dropped his head again, "Because...it scared me.� Because somehow it was real, like it will happen, she told me it would."

�� "Who did?"

�� "The lady in blue, she said something that I did not understand though..."

�� "Go on tell me."

�� "She said that the other lady, the one I could not see...that she has seen your face and because she has she will never stop coming for you until she takes you away.� Then she told me that she was sorry but there was nothing that she could do to stop it and that I should be careful that she does not see my face as well."

�� I felt my heart stop for what felt like an eternity.� I glanced over my shoulder to see Allen wiping a tear from his face.� I hugged him as hard as I could, one to calm him down two because I had no wish to think about just how scared I had become while listening to him.� "It will be ok Allen, I promise."

�� "No it wont, this is all because of me right Sarah?"

�� I wanted to lie to him.� I wanted to ease all the fears I knew where racing about his thoughts but I could not, all I could say was, "It will be ok, it has to be..." but I knew it wasn't.

�� "I'm sorry I can not help myself, I am just so..."

�� "I will not let her hurt you ever again my brother, I will take her to the depths of hell before she can even think about hurting you, I promise you that."� I pulled away from him rose to my feet with my unsteady legs and started out of his room.� "Whatever happens to me tonight Allen, whatever it is that you may hear, do not leave this room promise me that."� I paused on the verge of tears myself, but I did not turn around, and I waited for his answer.� "Promise me... please."

�� Finally he answered, "I...promise.� I love you Sarah."

�� "I love you too Allen," and that was the last time I spoke to my brother,while i was alive.

�� I did not have to wait very long for what I knew was coming for me.� I knew my stepmother was a pacient woman and she would wait for the perfect moment to send her vengence down on me and suprisingly I was not scared.� Yes I did experience some fear but not for what was coming for me, but rather for if I could come back to get her like I promised and more exactly to what I would become myself if I suceeded.� This was my focus until I heard the chanting.� At first I thought it was coming from my stepmother's study but the more I listened I quickly listened the sooner I realized that the chanting was emanating from my very room.� I turned to see a very glow coming from my mirror, faint at first then growning brighter rapidly, and there I sat frozen unable to scream or run or even cry, not that I wished to cry no in fact I did quite the opposite and smiled, a small smile but I smiled none the less.� Then I saw her.� I saw what Allen could not and a little part of me was undescribably happen that he had not beheld what I was seeing now.� He was right though, I was a woman that peered out from my mirror, and at first she was one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen in my life, but then she started to change.� The flesh on her face begain to peel itself away, some just to show me the rotting musle underneath still others revealed to my eyes her skull.� I closed my eyes as tight as I could praying to god to not let this grotesque creature torment me anymore more than she already had with her ghastly image, then I heard the glass of my mirror shatter and a short moan.� I fought as hard as I could but my eyes finally won their battle and shot themselves open and to my horror the woman was mere inches from my face staring me straight in the eye.� I use staring losely for the most terrifying part of her appearance now were the bottomless voids that had once been her eyes and seemed to be pulling me into them.� She smiled revealing her yellowing teeth keeping her rancid breath from inflaming my nostrils anymore than it already did, then she reached up and stroked my chin with the back of her hand. I could hear the skin ripping from her bones as she did this and grew even more terrified as she dropped her hand away and a pile of maggots fell into my lap.� Dear God this could not be real, I had to be dreaming but I knew I was not dreaming and this was very real.� I knew there was a undead specter or some sort of ghoulish demon standing infront of me and still I was not scared, in fact all the terror I felt in that instant I realized this being was stroking my cheek turned into pure rage and hatred.� "Time to go precious I have such things to show you," the bloody woman whispered.� I looked back at her eyes and saw bloody starting to stream from the voids, then and only then I screamed, then it was black.

�� The police came later that night.� They called it a break in or something, nothing anywhere near close to what it actually was that's for sure, not that anybody would have believed what really happened to me.� I did not really feel anything when I died or after other than the great hatred for my stepmother, though I did feel sad when my father beheld what was left of my body, also for my sweet Allen as well.� I did not wish to leave him alone to face whatever my stepmother had planed for him but I did not have much of a choice at the moment.� I watched the comotion in my bedroom for a little while as I struggled to grasp the concept that I was dead, and for a short moment I forgot my promises, that is until I saw her.� The wench was trying to act surprised and grief stricken but that only fooled the eyes of those that did not know her ways, anyone who knew this woman well enough could see through her clever act.� I watched her "comfort" my father and my rage returned with all the fire that burned inside of my soul mere seconds before I died and as I heard the guiding voices calling me to my resting place I curse her and I cursed them for trying to make me forget what I swore I'd do and I changed, I was reborn.� Which the help of my stepmother I came into my second and present exsitance on the 31st of October in the year 1842, I became the Sarah that speaks to you now.

�� On refusing to go to my appointed place in the afterlife I came to exist in a world that at first glance was not different from the world of the living, with one exception, time did not exsist, not for the spirts or even the people that inhabited it yet somehow the environment did, well it did depending on how far in this space you where, but yet again I digress.� My time in the first year of my departure from the realm of the living was spit between watching over my brother and learning the ways of my new existance.� I watched paciently waiting for my stepmother to begain her plotting again, and for a long time she did nothing.� Perhaps the death of one of us was enough to please her and whatever demon god she was summoning for use of its powers, or more likely she did not wish to draw suspition as my killer was never found or identified.� It did not matter to me in the lease for all I wished was to have enough time to find away to make good on my promise to her and my Allen.� I did manage to cross into the living realm once, Allen was the only one to see my presence and tried to touch me but I could not maintain this form for long for I was not strong enough, but it did give to me some sort of hope that I would be able to bring my plans to reality.

�� Months passed and I still had no better control over my movements in this alien space.� I often found myself jetted between one part of my realm to another that was very close to entering back into the living realm and it was slowly beginning to eat away at my resolve and some of my sanity.� I was being to lose any hope I had until one day, if you could actually call anything a day in this ageless abyss, I stumbled across a strange room with a model train engine, much larger than any I had beheld in life, running along the tracks inside.� As I approached this strange vision infront of myself I noticed that it seemed to be covered in decaying human flesh and the mountain that its tracks rested upon seemed to be decaying right before my very� eyes.� I could not seem to make myself break my gaze, at least not until I heard a tiny voice from one of the many cars.� "Come Sarah you know as well as I do we have much work to do."� I stepped back, not so much in terror as in shock as to what I had just heard.� "Come now Sarah you should fear nothing as the dead have nothing to fear, we are wasting time you need me.� Now free me."� My limbs seemed to take on a life of their own moving me closer to the train and as it passed in front of my face my hand plunged into the side of one car producing a small porcelain faced doll as I withdrew it.� Her face was pale and seemed to smile though she had no mouth.� I recoiled just a bit when I saw that she, as with my murderer, had no eyes only cold empty pits.� "You fear me but I am not her, relax."� It was the doll that had been speaking to me the entire time I was in the room yet for some reason it made perfect since.� "She condemed you to this dead space the minute she sent that specter to kill you Sarah.� I believe it is about time that you upheld your promise."

�� "How do you know of my promise?� Who are you," I asked.

�� "Hmm, it's been a very long time since I even had a name, but if you must, call me Katrina," she replied.

�� "You still did not answer my question."

�� "That's because it needs no answer.� Anything you need to know you will find out over time.� Like I said before though, we are wasting time.� Think about it Sarah its not like your stepmother is idle on her side.� If you want her I can help you get her."

�� "How, might I ask?"

�� "You'll see."

�� We went to the living realm that night, coming through my brother's room.

�� "S-Sarah?!" he stammered.

�� "Shh, I do not have time for this now Allen I have a promise to keep," I blankly answered him.

�� He rose from him bed and touched my arm only to quickly retrack it, "You are dead...how...how are you here can you not rest in heaven with mother?"

�� "I have never seen heaven, nor have I seen hell for that matter.� Where I am there is nothing but visions of the living and time does not exists."

�� "It's time," Katrina whispered.� And so I left him as suddenly as I was arrived only to reappear in my stepmother's study, as she performed some ritual to her master.� So I stood in silence until she turned a grasped her chest in horror as I stood before her.

�� "You...?" she gasped.

�� "For all the things you said to me last time I was here you sure have seemed to run out of words woman," I walked towards her.� The woman desperately backed away from me in terror looking toward her books and alter in quick glances as if begging them for help.� "Too late for those things now I'm afraid.� You do not seem to realize I am from the same realm as all of you summons you wench.� They could not hurt me if anything I would destroy them with a thought, but I am not here for that.� You and I have business."

�� "...no...the promise..."

�� "So you do remember?� That make this much easier to finish then."

�� "NO!� Have mercy...PLEASE!" she stared at me with her eyes filled with tears.

�� "Mercy?" I laughed, "I did not just make a promise to you.� No I promised you that I would come back for you and nothing else, but I promised Allen I would drag you to the depths of hell and to be honest I rather look forward to seeing it for the first time."� I stroked her hair with my free hand and watched as the ground opened under her and thousands of hands grabbed her, dragging her into the flames shooting up all around her.� I watched quietly smiling to myself until I could no longer see her shadow among the flames or hear her terrified screams.� And without any farewells, or thoughs of� any for that matter, I went back to my world where I remain.� And this is how I became what speaks to you now, neither truly good nor truly evil.� I age when I feel like it, becoming any age that I wish between the time of my death and when I was to really die in old age.� No one every speaks of me among the living anymore, not since I returned and my brother saw what I'd become.� He never told anyone what he saw that night, not father, not his children, not his wife, not even his grandchildren but I know he remembered.� He called to me when he died and I was there.� He rests now in his rightfull place, but I remain here in my dead space, waiting, watching for my purpose to return to me, but I know I will never rest, there is no rest in this forsaken space, only death's cold embrace.

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