SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH TACKY?
� Rich ([email protected])




Not too long ago I read an article in the magazine section of the Washington Post about a Krispy Kreme Donut shop, along the U.S. Route 1 corridor, just south of Alexandria, Virginia. The article described all the delicious confections provided by that chain and, more interesting, the diverse clients that populate this bit of Americana. That got me to thinking about this historic highway that runs from Maine to Florida.

U,S. Route 1 in our area is known as Richmond Highway that stretches south from the interstate beltway that encircles the District of Columbia to the north, for about 5-6 miles to Fort Belvoir at the southern end.

More recently local government officials have sought to revitalize this section after some 50 to 60 years of haphazard growth, neglect and decay. For some strange reason, the planners do not seem overly fond of the myriad of shabby motels whose main purpose it seems is to appeal to a highly transient population. Police always seem to be curious about what is being transacted in these business establishment, although why they do this is a mystery to me.

The heart of commercial activity is in a valley, surrounded by low-lying hills to the north and south. Not that long ago---well, actually it was close to 50 years ago now that I think of it�it was the site of a small aircraft field. It was very basic: simply a grassy area, with maybe one runway or two, a few small outbuildings, and a limp windsock. (Rumor has it that the owner could afford only one wind sock and that one foot always went sockless. He would alternate socks letting one air out in the breeze.)

It was great fun to watch the small planes�many of them the old-fashioned bi planes�barrel rolling and performing other acrobatics. Somehow, the pilots always managed to avoid the utility lines strung along the highway as they approached for a landing from the east. I remember, too, a dairy farm just about a mile from where we live now. We even had milk and bread delivered daily, fresh as can be. But those days are gone.

What was once open fields with a distinctly rural flavor is now replaced by a strip malls which are a microcosm of United States ingenuity and small business. Oh, yes, we have Home Depot and Wal-Mart. After all we do belong the 21st century here if these establishments are any bench mark (a sad commentary on the times if you ask me).

But we have so much more to offer than mega chains. . In just a one or two mile stretch you can find a multiplex cinema with 10 films (it replaced an old open air theatre which was a hell of a lot more interesting from what went on inside the parked cars, than what was showing on the screen). We have an assortment of trailer camps (not as many now, alas) that are the epitome of "tacky" in the best sense of the word.

Side by side you can find stores ranging from light industry (spot welding, metal fabricating) to banks and their ubiquitous ATMs, small office buildings, antique shops, a pawnshop, a defunct waterbed store (the sign is at least still intact), retail shops, a dialysis center, pizza parlors galore (some good, others downright awful), a couple of palm readers, a tennis and fitness racquet club in the middle of a mobile home park.

One of my favorite places is Kramer's which handles all sorts of arboreal equipment. It is a single story, free-standing cinder-block building with a large U.S flag painted on the side (and it pre dates September 11 by several years). It's the only place around that sells burlap by the yard.

Need your car repainted or some dents taken care of? There are at least three shops that I can think of. Or how about a car wash for the old buggy? If horticulture is your thing, garden centers and nurseries abound.

Talk about cuisine! Nothing high about it (unless you mean some of its customers) but down to earth food that sticks to your ribs and stays forever in your stomach. But I jest. Oh yes, we have McDonalds, Burger King and Wendy's. But we have two Denny's and I don't know where you can get a better breakfast for the price. Thanks to our diverse population mix here, we can dine on very good Chinese food (and I don't mean the all you can eat buffets either), Thai, Vietnamese, Japanese, Korean, and more recently Central American food. Have you ever tried Peruvian rotisserie chicken? Delicious!

The Route One corridor is an architect's dream (some might say nightmare) noted for its eclectic array of structures: a fanciful juxtaposition of abandoned and dilapidated buildings, golden arches, tons of vinyl siding, a handful of strip malls (alas our only topless dancing emporium was closed by authorities several years ago), neo-classical and colonial-style building suitable, depending on your taste, to Virginia's colonial history and proximity to Mount Vernon.

Evenings the drive is a virtual ribbon of brightly colored neon lights (rivaling Las Vegas it is said), punctuated by wailing sirens and flashing strobe lights of police and emergency vehicles. To add to the evening's entertainment, there's almost always a robbery or break-in for those who lead an active lifestyle. Somehow a few older single family homes, reminders of a more gentle age, manage to hang on, sharing grounds with newer townhouses, both scant yards from this bustling roadway.

Should this urban abundance be overwhelming to the senses, you can always retreat to the Huntley Meadows Park, a peaceful wildlife refuge graced by forests, wetlands, deer, beaver and waterfowl. Just a stone's throw from civilization's cacophony, I seem to be spending more time there. It's one of the few things that the county planners have managed to do well, in spite of themselves.

Critics may decry the Corridor's lack of organization; others say it's a blight on the community. Tacky is one of kinder adjectives applied to my neighborhood.

I say it has character, substance and vibrancy unlike the sterile atmosphere of the enclosed malls. County planners talk earnestly of revitalizing the Route 1 corridor. I hope to hell they don't sanitize all of its fascinating diversity into a single homogeneous oblivion.





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