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-EARTH DAY- |
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Earth day has come and gone. You know, that time when all the tree hugging hippies go out and have parades and publicly do the two things they do best. Hug trees and whine about the environment. So in honor of hippies and whining, here's a list of ways you can celebrate earth day all year long and keep the part going; cause trees are such great party-ers and all... |
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1) Want the attention of that hot environmentalist chick you know? Set the forest on fire. She'll be so impressed that you have the environmental smarts to know that only CERTAIN forests are good enough to exist, and that some are just earth-killing factories in disguise. You eco-devil, you! |
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2) Hit squirrels with your car and then take them to the vet! As long as you don't tell them who hit the squirrel in the first place, they will praise you for how much you care about the animals. |
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3) Print out this web page 70 times. Some may call it a waste of paper; but in truth, if you don't use enough paper, the trees begin to feel useless. Then they have to spend hundreds at tree therapy. And we want to save the trees from that, don't we? |
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4)Throw rocks at little kids. I'm not sure what this does, but it sounds funny, in a sadistic sort of way. |
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5) Aerosol can damage the ozone! Spray out all you can out of your aerosol cans such as hairspray and cheese whiz. That nasty aerosol can't damage the ozone if it's evicted from it's home in the can, right? |
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6) Liberate the animals in the zoo! They're oppressed by the MAN! Of course they can survive in the wild after being in captivity so long! What kind of a moron are you? |
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7) The emissions from those nasty cars are polluting the air! To put a stop to this, blow up all those cars on your street! If they don't exist, they can't pollute! |
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8) Use your magical ring given to you by Gaia, the spirit of the Earth, to combine with powers from similar rings held by your multicultural friends to create a blue man with a green mullet and a red leotard so that he can save us from our eco-terrorist ways! |
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9) Smoke lots of pot. If the hippies did it, it has to be good for both yourself and the environment... |
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10) Feed yourself to a bear. Bears have to eat too, you know! And you'll do your part to help fight overpopulation too! |
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If you think I'm a moron, complain to [email protected] so I can show you that you're the real moron. |
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<<Back>> |
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