Now I�m bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts�
My once pleasant dreams�
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity I need
These wounds won�t seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There�s just too much that time can not erase
And you cried I�d wipe away all of your tears
And you�d scream I�d fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still help�
Hold me�
I tried so hard to tell myself that you�re gone�
-�My Immortal� by Evanescence-
******
The Night After
******
Itsuki lay in his bed silently. He had been completely listless since the moment he had returned home. He had barely heard his sister Chitose's greeting and when her many questions had turned to the absence of Mutsuki, Itsuki had pointedly tuned out her voice. He thought it unfair that Chitose had been completely unaware of her brother's fate. Anxiety suddenly boiled in his stomach and he instinctively reached to the side for Mutsuki's hand. It was not there.
Itsuki blinked and glanced to the other side of the bed, empty and cold.
Mutsuki...
The reality of it all seemed to suddenly crash in on him and a strangled sob escaped his throat. His brother was dead.
He rolled onto his side and curled into a tight ball. Pain tore at his insides as the tears ran freely down his face. It hurt. It hurt so bad.
"Mutsuki..." he moaned. His throat closed and refused to let him say more. Why, he thought, why? Why did this happen? Why did I fail? Why did you leave me? Why did you have to make me kill you?
Why couldn't it have been me? You were always stronger then me Mutsuki always! Why did you have to be the one to die?!
He finally abandoned the thoughts and simply let the grief take him. His tears soaking the bed mattress and body shaking with intense sobs.
So it was that he didn't hear the door to his room slide open, or hear the tiny bells chiming.
"...Itsuki?" a soft voice called.
Itsuki forced himself to stop crying as the voice of his little sister cut through his grief. He wiped the tears from his face as he turned to look at her. "Chitose? What is it?" he asked gently, his voice wavering slightly.
She shifted nervously, she had heard him crying and was worried. "I...it's very dark...I was scared..." she whispered instead.
Itsuki forced himself to smile and motioned for her to join him.
She returned the smile and closed the door silently behind her. She walked over and slid into the bed lying against the safety of her brother's body.
Itsuki wrapped one arm around her small body protectively and as was habit in these situations, Chitose was often frightened into her brother's room, began stroking her black hair.
Chitose snuggled in under the covers. She hesitated a long moment before speaking, "Itsuki?"
"Yes?" Itsuki's voice was more silent and hesitant then she ever remembered it being.
"What happened today...why are you so sad?"
Itsuki stiffened slightly, "I...cannot tell you Chitose. " he sighed finally, "One...day you will know, but not now."
Chitose frowned, "Where...where's Mutsuki? No one would tell me."
She heard Itsuki swallow hard and his breathing quickened slightly. She regretted the question...but she was worried, about both of her brothers.
"He...he had to leave...you...you won't be able to...see him...again." he replied, his voice was terribly shaky and she felt something wet through her hair. He was crying!
Chitose didn't know how to take this. One of her brother's had left? Wouldn't be coming back? Why? She felt tears prick her eyelids. "Is that why you are so sad?"
"Yes, Chitose...I...miss him...very much...I feel as if I have...failed him. I couldn't...do what he asked me..."
"What did he ask you?" Chitose asked innocently. She was curious but she also wanted to help. Itsuki sounded so sad, it made her sad.
"He made me promise something, but...now I can't do what I promised..." Itsuki had failed the ceremony, now Yae and Sae would have to do it. He couldn't protect them.
"Why?" Chitose's second innocent question made him stop.
Why indeed.
His failure in the ritual would mean Yae and Sae would have to perform it but there would be some time in between then and now.
Time enough to escape.
They could leave using the same path he had wanted to use with Mutsuki.
He would help them escape and fulfill his promise to his brother.
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