Here's some more Xanga fun. Today, we've got pagans, punks, pathetic posers, and some stuff that doesn't start with P.
Here's a bewitching post by pagan_goddess:
As my good friend Ethan Shantie pointed out, there are two kinds of Wiccans, and I'm still not sure which annoy me more. There are the pathetic ones who actually believe they can cast spells, and the teenage hangers-on who walk around saying "Blessed be" and "Merry meet" like they're members of some secret club.
This user is obviously the latter, and I wish someone would tell her that Charmed is not a reality show. Ten dollars says that the "Book of Shadows" is actually filled with gossip about other girls at school and botched drawings of vampires. Another ten says she leaves a pentagram candle burning and her house goes up in flames within a year.
Next up, sk8r__chik69 face-plants with this entry.
Is it lead paint on the half-pipes or brain trauma from falling that makes all skateboarders type like this? Obviously, something very important is going on in this post (look at all the capital letters), but the writer has translated it all into skateboarding moron and the message was lost to posterity. Try reading it out loud and feel the IQ points dropping away.
Now give it up for the comedy stylings of PeDoLuVeR318:
OMG. ROFL, PeDoLuVeR318. So you terrified one of your friends, leaving her screaming and hysterical, made the other "get all upset" and cry and the whole thing is a "funii story" to you? With friends like this girl, who needs enemies?
And to top it all off, she's got the audacity to say that her cousin is "realii getting on her last nerve." You know, I don't think anyone should tell her that "Pedo" is the Internet abbreviation for pedophile. Serves her right.
What's a real nightmare before Christmas? Why, timburtonfan196's Xanga, of course!
You know, people ask me, "Why do you hate Tim Burton movies so much?" I could mention the cookie-cutter productions, the shameless commercialization of all things sinister, the slavish, drooling admiration from Gothic kids... but I think from now on I'll just give a link to this Xanga. If your fans can type things like "my soul hurts" without being sarcastic, you're definitely doing something wrong.
Other choice tidbits from this user (I didn't bother making them images):
LEAVE ME ALONE! ALL OF YOU! I'M DEAD SERIOUS! I NEVER WANT TO TALK TO ANY OF YOU BACKSTABBING, CASH STEALING, MOTHER F***ING, PERVERTS AGAIN! GOD DAMNIT! WHY DID YOU DO THIS TO ME!?!?!?!?! I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU! DON'T YOU DARE TRY THIS AGAIN!
Resently my life ended. This highly unfortunate event happened near the semester mark of this year. Though I was somewhat depressed before that a certain thing I saw pushed me over the edge. I hate falling. I wish I would land now, but I guess I get to wait just like everyone else. I have to push to get what I want now. I don't have anything I thought I would have by now. I thought I would have my great body, my great boyfriend, and an illegitimate baby. not to mention a job and a car. but no. it's all mediocare manotony! The thing i dream about most often is shooting myself in the left eye. Good night friends.
"Mediocare manotony," indeed. But let's take a look at something a little more exciting. Last, and very possibly least, is razor_blade_in_my_wrist, a 15-year-old from Canton, Ohio. His interests include "grundge" music and his expertise is listed as "poetry making whips tourturing stuffed animals .......eating out(or so iv been told i was good at it)."
As bad as that sounds, it's nowhere near enough to prepare you for the journal itself.
Oh, well, gee, I don't know why chix hate you... maybe it's because YOU SAID IN YOUR LAST POST THAT YOU HAD FUCKING LICE.
Now, in his post from March 25, he begs abjectly for comments. Obviously, he's desperate. So what does he do? He makes new rules for what comments people can leave! Brilliant!
I really, really hope this kid's not serious in any of these posts, but I know better than to actually believe so. But anyway, that's it for this time. We'll be back sometime with more things.