|
"If it could happen to me... ...it could happen to anyone." --Karl Rove, presidential advisor |
If you are a sinister presidential advisor, 40 years of age or older, you are at an increased risk for verbal incontinence, or VI. Do you suffer from embarrassing leakage? Do you need to reveal classified information 2 to 3 times per day? Do you feel uncontrollable urges to endanger lives? If so, you may suffer from VI.
The consequences of VI are serious. Legal complications can include 3 years in prison and a $10,000 fine. But you don't have to live with the embarrassment anymore. Preventanol® (duct-taprin strips, USP) can help.
Preventanol uses a patented adhesive formula to seal out leaks. One strip across the mouth every day will prevent you from giving out the names of CIA agents to reporters. The Preventanol formula will also start a Justice Department investigation to find the source of the leaks and stop them.
Unfortunately, Preventanol takes at least two years to start working, and it will not treat VI unless there has been a crime committed. No wonder it's the duct tape of choice for 4 out of 5 presidential advisors -- including Karl Rove!
Preventanol may cause serious medical problems, including irritation of the mouth area, inability to breathe or speak, and starvation. Talk to your health care provider before beginning any anti-leak regimen. Do not take Preventanol within 24 (twenty-four) hours of needing to speak. In fact, don't take it at all, because you're good pals with the president and will probably get away with it either way.