They're four single guys with their own NBC TV series! There's a smart one, a cute one, a sensitive one, and a goofy one, and the liner notes of their first LP make a big deal of the fact that they not only sing, but also play their own instruments! Hey, hey! Who can it be but... the cast of "Bonanza"?!
If you're creaky enough to remember the debut of Bonanza back in 1959, then you shouldn't be shocked by these singing Cartwrights. The first show started with the cast riding up to the camera on horseback and singing some very corny lyrics to the Bonanza theme song. Wiser heads prevailed, and this was quickly replaced with the famous "burning map" opening and an less embarrassing instrumental theme. But the singing idea lingered, and after several years of TV success, it was resurrected for this album. It's not a soundtrack (it doesn't include that vocal rendition of the show's theme, darn it), but a stand-alone concept album, subtitled "Ponderosa Party Time!" It is Saturday night at the Ponderosa ranch. Usually, that would mean it's time to bathe Hoss, but this week, all the neighbors have dropped by for a big party and sing-along. The Cartwright boys take turns singing such frontier favorites as "Skip To My Lou" and "In The Pines," and between the songs, there is a lot of dialogue: joshing about the Hoss waistline, arguing over who will sing next, getting all misty over family bonds, and so on, all of which would get mighty tedious if anyone ever listened to this record more than once. But if your idea of a good time is a Saturday night on an isolated ranch with four men in leather and no women, then let's jump right in!
The top singer of the bunch is Pernell Roberts (Adam), whose choirboy voice and precise diction on the Elizabethan-tinged "Early One Morning" sound so much like Dick Smothers, you keep expecting Tommy to interrupt him with a yo-yo trick. The following year, Roberts sang on the sequel to this LP, "Christmas on the Ponderosa", and released a solo album of overly-arch folk songs ("Come All Ye Fair And Tender Ladies", both on RCA). At the end of the 1964-1965 season, Roberts left Bonanza because his role was holding him back artistically. His immediate rocket ride to obscurity made him the butt of countless Johnny Carson jokes, until he finally resurfaced in 1979, his hair having migrated from his head to his chin, as the star of Trapper John, M.D.
Dan Blocker (Hoss) can't really sing, so he does what he did on the show: provide comic relief. He tackles (and we mean that literally) the novelty songs, like "Sky Ball Paint" (a song about an ornery horse, which "Riders In The Sky" have repopularized) and "The Hangin Blues" (a humorous ditty about a lynching). He blusters his way through each, and many witty jests are made about his inability to reach the low notes. The mountainous Texan appeared on a few other records, including the essential "Ponderosa Christmas LP" and a children's album, but most of his output was spoken word.
Michael Landon (Little Joe) was the only Cartwright who had recorded before. With his dreamy looks and athletic build (his hopes for a career in sports were dashed by a torn ligament), Landon was a prime candidate for teen idol. TV Guide even described him as "Kookie with chaps". Landon was starring in the camp classic "I Was A Teenage Werewolf" when he recorded his first single, the immensely irritating "Gimme A Little Kiss (Will Ya, Huh?)" for Candlelight Records. A brief tour with Jerry Lee Lewis couldn't make it a hit in 1957, nor could his "Bonanza" fame coax record buyers when it flopped a second time after a 1960 rerelease on Fono-Graph. On the "Ponderosa Party LP", Landon takes the yearning, romantic ballads ("Careless Love," "Shenandoah"), which he sings passably, although slightly flat and with a rockabilly slur that is as anachronistic as Elvis Civil War songs in "Love Me Tender". After the "Bonanza Christmas LP", Landon cut one more dud single, "Linda Is Lonesome" (RCA, 1964). According to his daughter, it was while being forced to sing and dance with Brooke Shields on an NBC Bob Hope special that Landon suddenly decided to stick to acting and never sing again. Wise career move.
This brings us to the only Cartwright to carve out a successful musical career, Lorne Greene (Ben), who assays the "meaningful" songs, like "My Sons, My Sons" and "The Place Where I Worship" (the A and B sides of the only single released from this LP). Greene can't hold a high note without making an odd billy goat noise, but he does handle the deep bass lines smoothly, as you might expect from Canadian radio's former chief news announcer. Greene and his mellifluous lower register went on to appear on seven solo LPs, a couple of soundtracks, and more than a dozen singles, including the odd-ball Number 1 hit, "Ringo" (RCA, 1964). It s a western tune with chanted lyrics that Rhino Records has anointed as one of the earliest examples of how white men can't rap.
That pretty well covers this LP (despite his perfect showbiz name, Hop Sing is not allowed to dance or vocalize), but before bidding adios to the Ponderosa, we should mention two interesting tidbits of trivia: 1) The reason the three Cartwright boys are so different is because they all have different mothers. According to Ben, Adam's mom died back East, Hoss's mom was killed in an Indian attack (we're amazed she survived the childbirth!), and Little Joe's mom died in a fall from a horse. 2) On side two of this LP, we discover that this is a birthday party for Ben, who never knew when his real birthday was because all his legal records were lost in a fire.
Now, let's put it all together: Ben crosses the country, fathering a passel of kids, killing - oops, sorry! - "burying" three wives along the way, and somehow, all his legal records are lost in a mysterious fire. Say! Maybe Ben had the makings of a gangsta rapper, after all!
Hear Lorne Greene, Michael Landon, Pernell Roberts and Dan Blocker singing these classics:
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