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JUNE: Graham Hover warns injury prone former Sheffield Wednesday players Simon Donnelly and Phil O'Connell that any deal to bring them to Highfield Road would have to be on a pay-as-you-play basis, with the clubs current financial situation (Not helped by the massive wages paid to certain other people at Highfield Road, who don't appear to do very much) .... David Beckham opts to join Real Madrid rather than Barcelona, but admits that had Gary Breen joined the fading Spanish giants last season, as was rumoured to be happening, `my decision could have been very different' .... Following the paying into the bank of the �300,000 windfall from Wolves, thanks to a clause in Cedric Roussell's contract that resulted in a bonus if by some miracle the Molineux side gained promotion (following his sale from CCFC), a small, Scottish, ginger-haired bloke is seen filling his car up in the Hampshire area, before bombing up the motorway .... In another piece of news about as shocking as the fact that Vanessa Feltz likes cake, or that rock stars might be partial to drugs and groupies, it's announced that CCFC's new stadium will not now open in August 2004 (Like anybody really believed it would) .... Proving that the people connected with football are capable of making a decent decision concerning the beautiful game, it is decided that no more teams will be added to the play-offs....

MAY: CCFC's pre-season matches are announced, and look about as testing as an arm wrestle with Wayne Sleep. Amongst the teams expected to see whether the new-look CCFC are ready for the Premiership are: Worcester, Oxford, Nuneaton Boro, and possibly Mansfield .... Aston Villa's chances of being relegated in the 2003/4 season lessen after they appoint a manager whose tactics are in the same decade as the matches his team are playing in. Now they just need 22 decent players to replace their current squad .... It's announced that CCFC have signed free-scoring Wrexham striker Andy Morrell, then that they haven't, then that they might have, then that .... repeat 'til bored .... Gordon Strachan proves he's lost none of his crassness when it comes to tactics and substitutions, leaving Saint's most creative player (Fernandez) on the substitutes bench for 89 minutes and 57 seconds, which also helped snuff out the threat of James Beattie too .... Keith O'Neill reveals that there is interest in him from other clubs. On the same day, Runar Normann announces he's better than anything Brazil has to offer, and Graham Norton announces he's not gay .... Sad news for CCFC fans everywhere, as Gary Mills announces that he won't be leaving CCFC. Telford's loss is CCFC's too .... Craig Hignett increases any potential transfer fee CCFC might have to pay for him when he scores his first goal in 16 months for Blackburn .... The list of the `100 Worst Britons' is revealed on Channel 4, and surprisingly doesn't include Craig Bellamy, Brian Richardson, Gordon Strachan - or the new `hate-figure' at Highfield Road, Gary Mills .... Having stated that CCFC are to fast-track more youngsters into the first team squad, they help speed up the process by doing away with the Under 19s .... Gary McAllister steals Michael Doyle and Michael Briscoe from under the nostrils of Barcelona and Juventus respectively .... By way of a `thanks for nothing', CCFC announce a price freeze on season ticket prices for the 2003/4 season. Having asked as many season ticket holders as possible (before the prices were announced) if they would be renewing next season, and with most of them saying `no chance!', this looks like a foolish decision by the club. Just an opinion .... Gary Mac says CCFC are `down the line' with trying to sign a couple of strikers, but is keeping their identity a secret. There's a slight clue to who one of them might be when Joe Royle says McAllister wants to sign Alun Armstrong .... With Gary Mills linked with a move to Telford to fill their managerial vacancy, Gary McAllister says `we want him to stay' - obviously a Royal "we", as it doesn't seem to be a sentiment echoed by many people who support CCFC .... CCFC end the season with another shockingly bad performance - this time away at Millwall. The match starts at 1.30, but CCFC's players don't actually join in 'til the normal kick-off time of 3.00 .... Gary McAllister says he wants to finish the season on a high, and reveals the team intend to try and have a shot versus Millwall .... Gary Caldwell says he wants to sign off the season with a win and a decent performance. Newcastle inform him that he is under contract at CCFC, and will have to play against Millwall rather than at St. James Park.
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