Reasons tequila in shorts would be better than tequila in a bottle:
1) Portability. No more clinking bags to make even the most chic person sound like a closet alcoholic: simply fill 'em up and go, leaving the hands free for whatsoever you wish to use them for.
2) Two words: "Me, officer?". They would simplify the law-breaking process sinificantly for underage drinkers such as myself. Apart from perhaps a slight swishing noise, there will be no visible signs that you have enough alcohol on your person to knock out the entire contents of an AA meeting. The police can't order you to remove your shorts without a warrant, thus they will be obliged to let you go.
3) Hours of fun leaning from one side to the other and feeling one side filling up, then leaning the other way and feeling the other side fill up, then leaning back again....
4) When you're out of alcohol, you can inflate them and play sumo wrestlers with your friends.
5) Likewise, if you get stranded at sea, you can blow them up and keep afloat until the search parties find you. Or alternatively if you really are doomed, you can simply down all the alcohol and die a quick death by liver failure.
6) Insulation in winter.
7) Smuggle alcohol into festivals, proms, gigs, theatre, church, hospital....
8) For the crazy happy hippy atmosphere. You might be thinking how embarassing it will be to have to either take off your tequila shorts to get the alcohol out, or alternatively to let people stick straws into your waistband and get to it that way. But wait! Everyone else will be wearing tequila shorts too, because they want to be cool like you. Now if EVERYONE'S shortless, regardlesss of race, age, gender (possibly not gender, in fact), or condition of underwear, you're all in the same boat. This way, tequila can become a force for good, spreading the message of....