Narrative
Introduction: by Sue Johnston
In 2002, I was one of five women selected to appear on Oprah's
Forty-fifth Book Club show. I read Ann-Marie MacDonald's book Fall on
Your Knees, wrote an email, and sent it to Oprah. I remember the day
when I received the unexpected phone call from one of her producers
saying, "We like your email."
After a couple of telephone interviews I was invited to appear on
the
Book Club show and flown to Chicago. Three Canadians and two Americans
all selected for the show met in Harpo Studio's greenroom. Much like a
good marriage, we met and have not stopped communicating, and
supporting, and encouraging one another through emails and the
occasional telephone call. We dubbed ourselves the "Oprah Girls."
When my two daughters were six and seven, I recognized the value in
creating "good memories," and produced the theme It's Friday Night! The
announcement stirred their anticipation on a Friday morning as they
readied for school. "Don't forget, tonight is Friday Night!" To their
listening ears and expectant hearts they knew it meant staying up past
the usual bedtime, indulging in popcorn or chips, and watching a movie.
It might also include one of the fun activities I had planned, like
taste testing various brands of pudding, bubble gum, microwave popcorn,
or some other product that was touted as being THE best thing for kids.
My way to keep in touch with the Oprah Girls was to send regular
Friday
Night emails. It's Friday Night! I'd announce, knowing they'd be
unwinding from their week's responsibilities. I encouraged them to sit
back, relax, brew a cup of tea or pour a glass of wine, and read the
news.
After a while I thought, "It's easy to unwind from a long week. Why
not
send the Oprah Girls an email to help get them started Monday morning,
the time when we all need a boost, an injection of enthusiasm, a new
reason for getting up and forging ahead into another week. So, I
changed It's Friday Night - to - Monday Moments.
Seventy-two Monday Moments later, and a growing subscriber list that
went beyond the Oprah Girls, Monday Moments took on new goals - as most
writing does. I managed to touch the nerve of my current readers, to
meet a need here and there, to provide a moment of reflection, to hold
up a spiritual mirror.
There are many life themes expressed in Monday Moments, but you'll
probably find the two most common themes are counseling and writing;
they are my loves. We cannot express ourselves without an imprint, a
signature as such, leaving its ineffaceable mark. My friend tells me
she sees me in every story and from that perspective the stories are
part memoir. Each story is wrapped around a life principle that spurs
one on with renewed strength and purpose, imparting life, energy, and
courage, and from that perspective Monday Moments is a motivator.
In the stories I sort through the various questions of life like:
What
is my purpose? Is there a point to pain, a reason for suffering? Why is
it that some people seem to sail through life without ever being
touched in a serious negative way, when others seem to be bombarded
with more than the usual share of troubles? What if I had taken a
different route in life? What if I had made different choices? Where do
I find strength; and how can I heal?
Some of these questions are like dried knots of the past working
their
way up through the floorboards of our present. They mar the
foundational ground on which we stand. Unless we give them attention
they will cast their irritation into our future. And yet, many of us
hardly have time to answer. We fail to reflect. Instead, we are like
marionette in the puppeteer's hands going through the motions working
our way through someone else's life script. Where does it end? When do
I get my turn?
Sometimes I torture life's philosophical questions seeking to
squeeze
out an answer. Sometimes I tickle with humor as a reminder to lighten
the load; and always I present these pithy commentaries as on a platter
for Monday morning's breakfast with the intention of provoking more
thought, injecting spirit, and rousing courage to face another day,
another week.
One of my readers had her secretary print off the Monday Moments
each
week as they arrived. The secretary couldn't help but take a peek.
After reading a few of the articles she exclaimed, "Who is this woman?
She has my life!" The recognition of a common spark is often called
chemistry. The telling of words and stories from my life react with the
substance of story in your life. It's a chemical reaction, a pure
contemplative response. The tangible principles we recognize in the
threads of the story reflect the common aspects of ourselves, and these
points of recognition tie us to one another. They are the experiences
that knit the individuality of our souls together in silver bonds. You
just might see yourself in Monday Moments.
My personal life, I've often thought, would be equal to or rival
that
of Dave Pelzer (A Boy Called "It"), or Frank McCourt (Angela's Ashes).
Within the work of these authors I saw myself. Like them, I have
traveled through detrimental experiences of neglect and depravity, and
yet like them I emerge to tell stories, not of pain or pity, though
those elements are hidden in the rocks, but stories that exemplify the
surrounding gems, stories that point to the veins of gold, the elements
of beauty and worth.
On February 26, 2002, I had the pleasure of joining Oprah for lunch.
Following our meal and the enjoyable company of those gathered at the
table, I began a serious conversation with her in which I stated, "I've
had the opportunity to get to know you through the media, and I realize
you only know me by what you've read in my bio, but I've always felt
that you and I are of kindred spirit."
From that opening statement we shared the similarities and
difference
of our life. I had read a biography of Oprah's life when I was
thirty-six. Her story was the first I'd ever read about a woman being
raped twice and the second rape resulting in pregnancy, just as I had
experienced. Her baby boy died. Mine was given up for adoption. This
common thread of experience created the chord of kindred spirit.
Although we had some points of similarity we have many points of
difference. In my life there were three men who had the potential to
create good, to be the greatest influence of strength and character;
and yet, they brought the worst into my living experience. For a number
of years, through the unwanted attention of an uncle who married into
the family, I experienced sexual abuse. At the hands of my father I
experienced physical and emotional abuse, and interspersed through
those events I knew his neglect and abandonment. In my first marriage I
experienced emotional abuse with all its unusual twists and strange
manipulative curves.
Life is not the sum of barraging and buffeting experiences happening
to
us beyond our control; it's often defined by the choices we make. Sure,
I had the negative experiences of three men in my life, but I also made
wrong decisions of my own volition. Being a Baby-Boomer and traveling
through the "hippie" years I delved into the experiences of drugs from
the age of thirteen on. I ran away from home, joined a commune, threw
away my bra and bucked the establishment.
Years later, one tries to rewrite history, to place blame, and then
eventually if we're wise enough to embrace maturity we begin to accept
the weight of pressing responsibility. So many things to undo, so many
experiences to heal from, some chosen, some forced upon the innocent.
And yet in the midst of all this an emerging strength began to rise in
the center of my soul. Where did that come from? Why wasn't it crushed
through the bombardment of negative experiences?
Every counselor must travel through their own pain working with a
counselor before turning to help others. After quitting drugs, I had
ten good years before I met and married my first husband. A friend once
said, God has first best in store for you, accept nothing less. Viewing
life through the caustic events of my abusive past, I unwittingly
accepted less. I accepted a second best husband.
I traveled through three miscarries when I so desperately wanted to
have a child and for a while thought it was punishment for the first
lost child. Each pregnancy progressed to the end of the first trimester
and then aborted. Each time my body went into a mini labor and then
expelled the fetus. The pathology lab was never able to discover a
cause. The child was developing completely on schedule with everything
fully formed and as it should be. The reason for miscarry was never
determined. But, I did eventually gain two healthy daughters, and later
on four step-children, but that's another story, near the end of my
life.
A counselor once said, "Some of us have only experienced ONE of the
many things you've been through and we're trying to resolve it or get
beyond the experience. What gives you the strength you have?" The
question stimulated my search for the "reasons for strength." Was it
genetics, family background, determination, and if so, where did those
things come from. I've known healing and renewed courage. I have not
come into this life with everything I needed, and yet, I have found
that in this life has been everything I needed. I have walked with
strength, courage, and a developing confidence that has grown
throughout the years. Where did these elements of strength come from?
The stories of Monday Moments are a taste of what has transpired, not
the whole story, and not in order, just a taste of something good to
encourage and inspire others to find their path of strength.
There is a Greek word I love. It's called Teleios. It is derived
from
the word telos, which means an ultimate end. One of the derived
meanings for Teleios is, "that for which we were intended." If we were
bold enough to admit truth, we'd acknowledge that our life desire is to
be complete, lacking nothing; to be in that place for which we were
intended. If I could expand on the understanding of the word, it means
to be healed physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. It
means to be satisfied and complete. My stories are an example of how I
have walked along the path of Teleios, reaching forward to the goal for
which I was intended. While walking along the path I noticed a tune
being hummed, and the tune reverberated the notes of the life threads
working their way through my soul and spirit creating a strong person.
If you listen you will hear your own tune, at the moment when you feel
weakest, you will hear, and listen, and will begin to sing.
Monday Moments is a song, a story, a place of reflection, a few moments to stop and take a look within your spirit and soul, to ponder the greater facets of life often found in the ordinary, if we would only just stop for a moment, a moment on Monday.