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Parent Information:
General Parenting Tips
Gosh, kinda reminds you of when you were a teenager! and that's the scary part, isn't it. You want to keep them from making the same mistakes you made. Well, the problem is THEY ARE GOING TO MAKE MISTAKES ... and so are you, the parent. We are all, after all, human beings. So, what's to be done? Here are some suggestions to help you support your child as both of you work through this difficult time together.
1) HUG YOUR CHILD EVERYDAY ...... even if its just a sidearm hug. Take
time to look them in face, tell them you love them, and give them a hug. Hugs
are good for them and good for you. They lower blood pressure and reassure
your child that you love them. Hugs are insurance against the inevitable days
when you must argue and discipline your child.
2) SAY OR DO SOMETHING POSITIVE WITH YOUR CHILD EVERYDAY. This can be words of praise, encouragement, or simply taking time to sit on the
back porch and share a soda together.
3) LISTEN TO YOUR CHILD. Be there when your child wants to talk. This
could be anytime - day or night. Force yourself to be quiet and really hear
what they have to say. Listen beyond the words. Watch their facial
expressions and avoid interrupting or making judgemental comments.
4) KNOW YOUR CHILD'S FRIENDS. Encourage your child to invite them over
to your house.When they visit, be around the house, but don't hover around
them. Remember that you are responsible for what happens in your house.
5) NETWORK WITH OTHER PARENTS. This is critical. Your child is
networking with other children. You need to network with other parents. Get
the phone numbers of parents of your children's friends and call to confirm
where they are going or if they got there.
6) DISCIPLINE SHOULD BE REALISTIC AND REASONABLE. Remember
you have to enforce whatever you say. Grounding someone for "the rest of the
school year" means you have to keep saying "no" over and over until May and
you have to be at home to monitor that they are actually staying at home. You
are grounded also.
7) PICK YOUR BATTLES. Everything is not worth fighting over. Decide on the
top three or four most important things to you and go for those. Example ...It
would be nice if his room was clean, but maybe coming home by curfew is
really more important to you.
8) ALLOW YOUR TEENAGER SOME FREEDOM but stay involved in their
lives ( refer to #3 above). We all learn from experience and sometimes failure
is the best teacher.
9) TALK TO YOUR CHILDREN ABOUT YOUR LIFE. Remember they love
and care for you too. Discuss your plans and some of the challenges you are
facing. The way you handle life's obstacles and opportunities will be
a roadmap for your child as they grow and develop into adults.
10) SET THE EXAMPLE. Be what you want your children to be. "Do what
I say, not what I do" does NOT work with teenagers. They view this as
hypocrisy and, for teenagers, there are no "shades of grey". Remember the
old saying .......... The apple does not fall far from the tree.
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